I broke up with my x coz she was unfaithful, now she is back and telling me it was all a mistake and that she wants me back. I know I should stay away from her but thing is I really Loved her, maybe I still do.
I don't wanna get hurt again, but deep in my heart I want to believe that she has reformed and we could maybe make it work.
Help pliz. What do I do?
2006-10-09 00:08:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi there,
I know how you feel if you get hurt again by her, well she hurted you once and she will doit again when its her time, girls and boys are different, we are boys have feelings for girls alot but alot girls just wants to be with alot boys than one, I don't know why but they do that how they feel like doing it. I want to ask your own heart do you or can you trust her again how she made you hurt, well that result you have is different and I know you have feelings for her but you are stuck what you must do, to move on withought her or being with her and making you hurt more!
I mean if I was you, I looked in my heart and realize it that what is best for me and what I must do to prevent that to happen.
I would leave her and tell her to move on her life and you to!
2006-10-09 00:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, Curtis, you're in a tough spot.
Why don't you try being freinds with her? Do the things friends do. Hang out, talk, share a laugh. Get to know her as she is now. Keep the intimate connection on hold until you are sure she is the right woman.
Long term realtionships are based on friendhship. It is the common bond. The "in Love" feeling ebbs and flows, but the friendship is where trust and respect are based.
If she can be a true friend without the intimacy then there may be something to build on. Do take your time. Don't let her push. Set the boundaries and see if she can respect your simple request. Pay attention to behaviors that indicate she may need to grow up some more. Give her that time. People make mistakes. Especially in affairs of the heart.
Take a look at her friendships, is she successful with them? It will be up to you to make right decisions so that you don't get hurt again.
On the day you wake up and realize she has become your best friend, then you'll know if you really have something...
2006-10-09 00:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so she was unfaithful but people do change and realise their mistakes. Maybe the time apart from you has made her see that she really does love you and that she did make a mistake. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. I think you should go with what your heart is saying and believe that she is reformed. Life is full of chances so take the chance on her. We are allowed to make mistakes, ok so she made a big mistake by cheating on you but i think if you truly love her you will give her another chance
2006-10-09 02:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people have to go back just to see. Because if they don't give it that one shot, they will always wonder if it would have worked. And you are still in love and it will be hard for you to continue on with your next relationships without knowing. You will always have that in your heart, and wont be able to fulfill another to a healthy extent.
But on the other hand, she was unfaithful. And if she just did it when you two were getting along fine, then she didnt love you all the way, and your love was real. She is probally out of the affair and is turning to you for quik relief because she knows you still love her. And the next pretty guy that comes along, you will be done in again.
If she did it when you two were having a tuff time, then if it gets tuff again, she will turn to
"her drug" ,,unfaithfulness. So you have to decide and think really hard about this. Is saying I have that much respect for myself, not to let myself get hurt again by you, tell her to her face...I LOVE YOU AND YOU KNOW THIS, BUT I CANNOT LET YOU HURT ME AGAIN. Say the words...it will make you leave this alone and able to move on easier. But if you give it another shot, just to see..then be cautious, and dont let it hurt your heart, but learn from it. Good luck .
Love is a wonderful thing, ain't it?
2006-10-09 00:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through exactly the same thing ath the moment. I want to be able to believe that if I give my ex another chance, then this time he won't do anything to hurt me, but I'm worried about getting back into a relationship where I'll be constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next time he's going to rip my heart in half.
There is no definite answer as to what we should do- things are never that simple when emotions are involved. The only thing I can say is take your time. You need to know for sure that whatever you choose is the right decision for you. Ignore what anyone else has to say about it and do whatever is going to make you happiest. There is no point in rushing a decision that could turn out to be a wrong one. Don't feel pressured and look out for yourself.
I hope things turn out right for you honey!
Lx
2006-10-09 00:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that the two of you stay apart for a awhile. You 're still emotionally involved with this girl and you can't really understand if this is the right relationship . Personally, I think the fact that she was unfaithful to you will always be there. Try to understand why this happened and learn form this experience.
Keep looking forward and enjoy life. I know it hurts but you sound young and to regain some freedom is not bad at all! Good luck!!!!!
2006-10-09 00:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by marque1717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why journey backwards, you weren't thought about when she was unfaithful and for all you know this may not be the first time she did this to you. Don't get all wrapped up in giving second chances to her unless you like feeling hurt and pain. There is somebody out there who is worth being loved by you without the worry of unfaithfulness.
2006-10-09 00:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really difficult question:
Ive been a cheat, and Ive been cheated on...When I found out the guy cheated on me I was so upset. I knew he would call and want me back...i think its a phycological thing! (grass is greener)
Anyway, the only way to GET THE BALL BACK is to do the following:
1. Unplug your phone at night, or when that person usually calls. And turn off cell phone.
2. Block users email address so if they try and write to you, you won't ever know...
(these simple things made me able to sleep at night.)
Finally, when I was ready to talk to that other person...I did it on MY terms. I had the ball. I took things VERY SLOW. Started out small...like a phone call...then worked its way up too going to see him and watch a football game. Then I left afterwars, though temptation was there....
I did trust him enough to give him another chance...give my heart another chance.
The relationship ended. I left him for someone else who treated me the way I knew I deserved...I never forgot what had happend, though I was able to let it go.
Thats my best advice to you.
GET THE BALL BACK, and KEEP IT!
2006-10-09 00:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by AnnieAdams 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read your post carefully. "We could MAYBE MAKE it work."
Tells me you're not real sure of the situation and if you two get back together you'll have to MAKE it work.
You "really LOVED her and MAYBE I still do." Loved, as in past tense, sounds like you really don't love her any more. And you may be thinking to try to force yourself into it again.
People change, and I'm not going to judge her, but you have to ask yourself if you're ready to take that kind of chance again. And are you willing to trust her and put your heart on the line.
2006-10-09 00:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a person is unfaithful once sooner or later they would
do it again if they were given another chance. I don't
believe a person could be trusted for a second chance
and in my opinion there are no second chances for
infidelity.
2006-10-09 02:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by caroline j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋