In the past year I've had a very strained relationship with my mother since I moved out. I am also getting married in a few weeks. She recently told me she was not coming to my wedding as she put it "to watch me make the biggest mistake of my life." She doensn't approve of who I am marrying. She also told me that she didn't want a relationship with me because there was nothing in for her. Anyone have any good suggestions on what I should do?
2006-10-08 23:56:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It appears you have got a bit of a ‘family’ problem there…
Neither of your parents want to go to your Wedding !!!
I have only just now answered your other question in relation to who should walk you down the aisle.
As for this question, I’m not too sure of what to suggest…
I assume you are aware of why your parents are so against you getting married…
Do you understand and accept their feelings?
Are they right to believe the way they do?
Do you believe your parents love you, and are concerned for your wellbeing?
Why doesn’t your mother approve of who you are marrying?
Has he given your mum reason to not trust him or believe in him?
Has he cheated on you or hurt you in any way?
The thing is, that if your parents are against the marriage because they believe your husband-to-be is going to hurt you, then I certainly can’t be critical of them for not wanting to go to the Wedding.
If they love you, then they aren’t going to want to do anything to encourage you to do something you will later come to regret.
Look, all I can suggest is that if you are certain in your own heart that getting married is the right thing to do, then I guess you should follow your heart and do so !
Please try to respect your parents’ feelings in the matter, especially if you believe they have your best interest at heart !!!
Hopefully, your relationship with your husband will be such that your parents will change their mind toward him, and accept him as a member of the family.
If it turns out that he cheats on you and hurts you… ask your parents’ forgiveness for not listening to them !!!
You can’t force your parents to go to your Wedding, so perhaps you can send them photos or a video of it, and hopefully one day, they will get around to looking at them.
Tell your parents how much you love them, and how much it would mean to you for them to participate in this very special day of your life…
And tell them that if they choose not to participate, you respect their decision to not do so !!!
Sorry I can’t be more helpful…
I wish you luck !!!
2006-10-09 00:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have raised 5 daughters and one goddaughter and I haven't liked not one of their men when they started.I still went to the weddings and we all still mingled b/c that's what families do.Some of the men are still married to the girls ,some have broken up,but today we are still friends and family.Some people have issues that are their own and they try to include you into their weakness's.Get married,be happy and if this man is not abusive and you love him go for it.Even if the marriage doesn't work out that doesn't make her right and you wrong.Please be happy it's so hard to do these days.If you and he can be happy for any length of time that's better than than not feeling loved at all.JMO.
2006-10-09 07:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she like this because shes not ready to cut the apron strings.Take a good look at the thimngs she ahs said about b/f Is there any truth in what she has said. But if she is just being a ***** tell her that your getting married and if she wont be there is her lose
2006-10-09 07:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be hard but just leave her alone. One day she will realize she is making a mistake and missing out on your life. You can't make someone want to have a relationship with you. It is just so sad your mother would act this way.
2006-10-09 09:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by faybe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wish to try to stay on good terms with her, then tell her that you are very sorry that she feels this way and that you love her. But you have to do what you know will make you happy and if it is a mistake then you will have to suffer the consequences. But that you are an adult and she should allow you to make your own decisions.
2006-10-09 07:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by brenda m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her and would like to have her at you wedding, it would mean a lot to you. If she still choses not to attend then it will be her loss. Love from a daughter to a mother is a very wonderful gift.
Good luck to you in your marriage
2006-10-09 12:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by doicu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her: " Mom, I'm not accusing you for having married dad and
went through all this in your life. Since am a big girl, I want to lead
my own life, going wright or wrong. I will always love you and cherish you for having looked after me for so long , but this is my
life and it's up to me....!"
I believe she'll calm down...!
Ciao..John-John.
2006-10-09 07:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋