My little girl..........?

Question

I asked a question on here a few weeks ago about my kids school....to cut a long storey short i changed her school ( she is 6 )
she has been in the school for a week and is now saying she wants to go back to her old school..she did want to change origionally....what should I do.....I have told her if she still feels the same way on Friday, she can go back ( the old school has said if she doesn't settle she can go back )
Should I make her stay longer or change her back straight away?
I just don't know what to do for the best......

The reason i changed her school was because I felt she was not getting fair amount of attention and time in school due to high number of non-english kids in class who were finding it hard to adapt to Western schooling etc. There were only 3 kids out of 26 who's 1st language was English. Don't start shouting racism, this was for the benefit of my child......

The reason i changed her school was because I felt she was not getting fair amount of attention and time in school due to high number of non-english kids in class who were finding it hard to adapt to Western schooling etc. There were only 3 kids out of 26 who's 1st language was English. Don't start shouting racism, this was for the benefit of my child......

Answer 1

Sometimes it helps just to listen/ validate how she is feeling without trying to be 'helpful' or make things better. Sometimes its just better to say 'yep, it IS hard and I can see you are having a hard time' and don't add anything more to that in the way of advice, solutions, explanations, etc, as much as you might be tempted to. As much as you want to fix this for her because you hate to see her upset, it really is HER problem (I mean this is the kindest way possible). This is not to be harsh, but if you put the ball back into her court by simply listening and validating how she feels she might start feel stronger and more willing to give it a go.

. A change of school is always going to be hard, even if its a better school in every way. CHANGE is just hard full stop.

All the best with it

Answer 2

Tell her you made a mistake - that Friday is much too soon to decide that her new school doesn't suit her. Tell her that lots of people find it takes time to settle into somewhere new - school, house, job, area, country etc. Give her some examples of when you felt like that in you life, but how you settled in after a while. She's bound to take some time to get to know the teachers and make friends. Meanwhile you can just support her and encourage her and be there for her. Unless there is something drastically wrong with the new school, I wouldn't even consider putting her through yet another change.

Answer 3

I think you need to take over as the parent and not let your 6yr old dictate to you. Obviously she is the most precious thing to you and to see them upset is heartbreaking but she has only been there for a week which i believe is not enough time for her to have got used to the surroundings, you will probably find once she has made a few friends that she will be perfectly ok. You have to remember the real reasons why you took her out of her previous school in the first place. Do you really not want her to get the education she deserve? No of course you don't so give it a couple of months. maybe invite some one from her class round to tea so that she feels confident to be with someone while she is at school. Maybe she feels a little lonley. Just give her lots of encouragment and she will be fine. Good luck

Answer 4

You obviously have good intentions for your daughter and want the best for her. Remember that if you do send her back to her old school, you will still have the same concerns that you did to make you take her out of it in the first place. A week is not long enough for a 6 year old to adapt. We moved house 6 months ago and my 5 year old still asks when we are going back to our "proper" house. You have to stick with it and try and get her to make new friends. Invite them over for tea and get to know them as well so that she has someone who she can go to in the morning as soon as she gets to school. Stick to what you believe though, I know that you might feel cruel at the moment but she will adapt eventually. Definitely give her more time. I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 5

One week is not enought of time to decide on the new placement. Your daughter is wanting to change because she is missing what she knew...and the new placeis full of people and rules she has yet to adapt to. Plus, if she was in need of more attention and is now getting it, she may be expected to get more work done or to be more involved and with higher expectations than before,...and no kid is usually excited about that.

I would say she needs to finish out a full semester to really see if this is the right place for her. She needs time to adapt to the new rules and expectations, form new friendships and adapt to the new schedule. Switching her back so soon won't give an answer to your issues.

Answer 6

At age 6 your daughter is unable to make an educated decision about her school. YOU must do that - and you have done that.

You presumably moved her because you thought the new school was better for her. Have you now changed your mind? She will take time to settle and the first few weeks may be uncomfortable for her - but thats no different for an adult going into an unfamiliar environment.

If you thought the new school was better for her, stick with your guns. Apart from anything else, if you cave in to her every whim, she's going to grow up thinking she can having anything she wants. If she thinks a few tears can sway your decision, she'll be using that technique every time she wants something.

Sometimes life is difficult - but part of growing up is learning to handle life's difficulties.

Answer 7

o.k. I went back through your questions and i am guessing it was your first question ( that made you sound a tad racist) about the class being full of non English speaking children is the one you are talking about. it really seemed to bother you and if this is the same class she will be going back to then you will not be happy.She is 6, she will adjust it will just take a little time. Leave her at the school she is now in and don't give her an option. She will adjust faster if she knows she is not going back to her other school. Talk to the teacher at her new school about helping her to make a couple of friends. Bring them home for a few plays and your daughter will be a happy little girl and you will not be concerned about her education

Answer 8

I think that you should trust your instincts on this - you're her mum so you probably know best; but I think that she might need a bit more time to decide if she likes her new school or not - at that age kids like stability and she will of coarse find it hard to settle into a new school, but once she's made friends she might love it there. You have to remember your reasons for moving her too - if she will get a better education at her new school, maybe it's worth her staying a bit longer? But if you've told her she can switch back on Friday you might decide that you don't want to break that promise? - I don't think that there's an easy answer to this; but as I said, trust yourself - you're her mum, you know best.

Answer 9

I dont think your little girl has been in the new school long enough to decide whether she likes it or not. I do agree with you changing schools though and it has nothing to do with being racist. If the teachers are having to spend more time with the children who cant speak English then of course someone has to suffer and its the kids who have no trouble with language that will suffer.

I would persevere with the new school. Maybe tell her she can have some of her new friends round for tea. Changing schools cant be good for her.

Good luck

Answer 10

Your daughter is 6 years old, of course she's going to have problems settling into a new school. I would say if you have decided that she will get a better education at her new school, encourage her to settle in as quickly as possible.

Why not get talking to the other mums and try to organise a play date or two? By meeting her new peers outside of school, it will make it easier for her to go into the classroom every day if she thinks of some of them as her friends.

Have a chat with her teacher to see how the teaching approach differs from her last school - anything unfamiliar is going to cause her to stress a little.

I don't think bouncing back and forth between schools is a good idea. I wouldn't give her the option of going back to her old school. I would think about it, but not voice it to her - it's always easier to go back to familiar settings, but not always the best thing to do.

If your original concerns regarding her old school are still valid, will you be happy if she goes back?

Good luck.