How much you like these Jokes , Please take a look..?

Question

JOKES:

0.A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: “God, how long is a million years to you?”
God answered: “A million years is like a minute.”
Then the man asked: “God, how much is a million dollars to you?”
And God replied: “A million dollars is like a penny.”
Finally, the man asked: “God, could you give me a penny?”
And God said, “In a minute.”

1.What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

2.Why is abbreviation such a long word ?

3.Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
I used to think that i was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

STRANGE BUT TRUE :
1. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
2.You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath..
3. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
4.The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
5.People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze,your heart stops for a millisecond.

Answer 1

This is really cool and very informative. Thanx. Is there any award for best question??????????????

Answer 2

The first one is good. The others are OK, except for Joke No. 4 ["I used to think that I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure," which is very funny]. The STRANGE BUT TRUE are not jokes and are not funny, per se, but they are interesting.

Answer 3

I've actually heard all the jokes.
As for the strange but true - 1 varies - in my language it's different, and 3 is not true - I'm a living proof :)
hm, actually it's only the left one that I can lick... That's strange, indeed...

Answer 4

i love your jokes here you deserve something:

Playing God
A doctor died and went to heaven, where he found a long line at St. Peter's gate. As was his custom, the doctor rushed to the front, but St. Peter told him to wait in line like everyone else. Muttering and looking at his watch, the doctor stood at the end of the line.

Moments later a white-haired man wearing a white coat and carrying a stethoscope and medical bag rushed up to the front of the line, waved to St. Peter, and was immediately admitted through the Pearly Gates.

"Hey!" the doctor shouted. "How come you let him through?"

"Oh," said St. Peter, "that's God. Sometimes he likes to play doctor."

3 Blondes and a Blind Man
The blind man walks into a bar and says, "Wanna hear a blond joke?"

The bartender tells him, "Well, I'm blond and I won't appreciate it. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and is also blond. The man behind you is 285 pounds, and he's blond too. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

"No way," says the blind man. "Not if I have to explain it three times."

Give Her Another Chance!
At a convention of blondes, a speaker insisted that the "dumb blonde" myth is all wrong. To prove it he asked one cute young volunteer, "How much is 101 plus 20?"

The blonde answered, "120."

"No," he said, "that's not right."

The audience called out, "Give her another chance."

So the speaker asked the blonde, "How much is 10 plus 13?"

Slowly the blonde replied, "16."

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head.

Once again, the crowd roared, "Give her another chance."

"This is your last try," warned the speaker. "How much is 2 plus 2?"

Carefully she ventured, "Four?"

And the crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

Drink's on Me -- Positive!
So this neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How much will that be?" the neutron asks.

"For you," replies the bartender, "no charge."

Jumpstart... on the Rocks So a guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables hanging around his neck. The bartender gives him a look and says gruffly, "All right, pal. I'll let you stay, but don't start anything."

Divine Intervention
A motorist was driving in the country when he came upon a priest and a rabbi standing on the shoulder of the road, fishing. Next to them was a sign that read "Turn Around. The End Is Near."

SOS Scrawl
Did you hear the one about the doctor who went on a ski trip and got lost on the slopes? He stamped out "Help" in the snow but nobody could read his writing.

Costly Query
"How much do you charge?" a man asked a lawyer.

"I get $50 for three questions," the lawyer answers.

"That's awfully steep, isn't it?" says the man.

"Yes, it is," replies the lawyer. "Now, is that your final question?"

Here's a Tip...
Two lawyers who were running against each other for a judgeship had just finished lunch. "I'm going to win this election," said the first lawyer to his opponent, "because I put in the personal touch. Like here at this restaurant, for example; I left the waiter a five-dollar tip so he'll vote for me."

"Oh really?" said the second lawyer. "Well, I left him a nickel and told him I'm your campaign manager."

Pretty Pennies
Q: Who invented copper wire?
A: Two tax attorneys fighting over a penny.

Sure as Hell
In the hospitality suite at a bar association convention, a young lawyer meets the devil. The devil says, "Listen, if you give me your soul and the souls of everyone in your family, I'll make you a full partner in your firm."

After mulling this over, the lawyer says, "What's the catch?"
The motorist didn't like to be preached to, so he rolled down the window and yelled, "Mind your own business, you religious nuts!"

A few seconds later the two fishermen heard tires screech, then a splash.

The rabbi turned to the priest and said, "I told you we should've just written, 'Bridge Out.' "

Remorseful Romantic
A man goes to church one Sunday and hears a sermon about the Ten Commandments. He has an epiphany and goes to confession. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," he begins.

"Go ahead, son," the priest says.

"Well, I lost my hat and I came to church to steal one. But then I heard your sermon and I changed my mind."

"That's great," the priest replies. " 'Thou shalt not steal' is a powerful commandment."

"True," the man says. "But it was when you said 'Thou shalt not commit adultery' that I remembered where my hat was."

Articulate Alum
One day, the president of the company came upon a young man who was expertly counting out a large wad of the firm's cash. The boss asked, "Where did you get your financial training, young man?"

"Yale," the young man answered proudly.

"Ah, a fellow Ivy Leaguer! What's your name?"

"Yack Yackson."

The other day, I went to work with both ears bandaged. My boss asked what happened.

"I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"

"That explains one ear," said my confused boss. "But what about the other?"

"The person called back!"

What's in a Name?
A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?"
"Nothing. She's just having contractions."

Live and Learn
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. "What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student.
"Sadness," he replied.
"The opposite of depression?" he asked another student.
"Elation," he replied.
"The opposite of woe?" the prof asked a young woman from Texas.
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup."

Answer 5

Ayushman Bhava!!

Answer 6

Very cute joke. God is always showing us that He has a sense of humor.

Answer 7

liked d stange bt true part,...nd actually tried 2 lick ma elbow

Answer 8

i liked the strange but true
my tongue is still slipping on that tongue twister

Answer 9

These are gr8 but Ididnt get the 2nd one.

Answer 10

Good information.