me and my partner have been together for nearly 4 years he has 2 children with his ex wife, when he buys them presents they get sent back to us even birthday presents how do you deal with that.
2006-10-08 22:29:26 · 18 answers · asked by chancock01@btinternet.com 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
the children are only 6 and 13 so even if you give the presents to the children they still get sent back
2006-10-08 22:38:25 · update #1
he does see his children regular every other weekend she makes the children hand the presents back, so they know that we have brought them its so cruel
2006-10-08 22:40:04 · update #2
Well it sounds like you already know that his ex-wife doesn't have an issue with the gifts, she has an issue with you and her ex-husband. It'd be a waste of time to confront her, even though it would be interesting to hear her justification for the childish behavior. I would just tell the kids to keep their gifts at your house and save yourselves a round trip ticket with the gifts. That takes the power away from her, saves the kids the emotional trauma over the gift scene they must be getting at home and you can go on with your lives (even if she apparently can't.)
2006-10-08 22:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by Blondecicle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-08 04:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he see's these children on a regular basis, keep all the gifts, and anything else he buys for them at his house. It is extremely sad that the ex wife uses the children in this matter. What does she think that is going to gain her? Everything is long said and done - why keep hurting everyone? Move on. Tell him to give his children as much love as he possibly can when he spends time with them. I wouldn't be surprised if down the road the children ask to come live with their father.
2006-10-10 04:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by loving mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can do one of two things...
1. Give the presents but with the understanding they will stay at his house so when they come to visit they will have toys, games, clothes, etc there and won't have to pack up every time.
or...
2. Give small gifts for special days, but take the money he would spend on other things and save it up. Use the cash to take the kids on a special vacation or to do special day trips. That way, there is nothing for her to try and send back!
2006-10-09 01:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy oh boy people can be so cruel using children to hurt others! If you have regular time with these kids give them the gifts at your place & keep them for the kids at your place. Let them have a special place (a toy box, a bureau) for their things. They will know where their stuff is & they won't ever have to return anything to you again. The mother cannot make them return anything that belongs to them while they are in your custody. You may want to record somehow what she is doing. When you find the solution to this problem she will most likely create another problem. Again, with each difficulty she creates find a way to record it - you may need it for future references.
2006-10-08 23:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by curiousgeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the children the presents directly.
2006-10-08 22:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by mystic_rage879 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd keep the gifts at your house so when children come round they can play with them there. Feel sorry for the children as they must feel like piggies in the middle of all this you'd think there mother would put them first and want harmony then dissarray.
2006-10-08 22:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by sez75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it the children or the ex sending them back? It sounds like the ex and she is being spiteful. I would suggest future gifts being sent directly to the children in the children's names or try sending gift cards. That way if they are sending gifts back they may not like them they can at least get what they like.
2006-10-08 22:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When purchasing gifts for the children give them to them and let them keep them at your home for when they visit. It is a shame that the ex isn't more mature, there are plenty of women who would appreciate a dad and stepmother who helps support the children.
2006-10-08 22:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you truly love the kids. There is really not much you can do in this situation. For better or worse she is the biological mother. It is also completely normal to feel fear of dealing with the kids because of the mother's attitude towards you. I recommend you sit down with your husband and let him know how you feel. Ask him what role it is he wants you to do. Tell him what role you feel you have the right to do. I agree it is very unfair. Considering these kids live under your roof and you have your own child from this relationship you have to explain things too. Many people use their children to cause pain for the other parent. Her other relationship probably did not work and know she wants to move in on your territory. She obviously does not love her children but finds them convenient tools to mess up your relationship. There is really not much to be done about her. In my opinion the only one that can stop the abuse is your husband. He has to plainly tell her to BACK OFF. She needs to be worrying about her kids not you.
2016-03-28 02:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋