My ex of 3 years dumped me 3 months ago. We had several issues, but one major one was my jealousy/controlling behavour. Now, I know all of the reasons this isn't good and so on and tried to change at the time, but it was deeply engrained. It is NOT who I want to be.
Is it worth working on this NOW when I am single and convince my ex it is better? She doesnt believe people can change. I think I can and know that I put her on too much of a pedestal and didnt take care of myself enough first.
Has anyone gotten over bad jealousy? and how would you convince an ex you have changed? She is very adamant about our break-up so if nothing else, I will have to be better for the next person, but we both (ex and I) still love one another
2006-10-08 21:44:29 · 10 answers · asked by afterdinnermint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Fat chance.
2006-10-08 21:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just manipulating you. If she thinks she can get more out of you by coming back - she will. If she thinks she's seen the best of you, she won't.
Best strategy: Improve yourself and forget about her. Date other women. Be happy without her. When she wants to know what the other women are getting (that she isn't) and wants to cash in on your happiness, she'll come back around.
But by then, you will probably have outgrown the biatch. I mean, seriously. You're all better and she left you when you were at a low - but trying to improve? She's no better than the guy who shows up after all the work is done and claims credit!
If you change, change for yourself. And don't EVER put a woman on a pedestal. She'll use you.
2006-10-09 05:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by A_Patriot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you'd best get over this relationship.
if she's adamant about the break-up, she probably wants to get into a new relationship with someone else. You and her are over. And trust me, its awful to be in a relationship with a jealous, controlling partner. She doesnt want to get stuck in that rut again.
As for you, remember her!! Not the love and the good experiences, but rather the bad sides. Dont keep thinking of her and remembering the good times, you'll just moon over her and i dont think anyone else would want to get into a relationship with someone who's still thinking about his ex. Rather, remember why you broke up. Each time you get too controlling, think of that previous relationship which ended because of your behaviour!! It'll get you back on track. And always keep talking to your new partner. Try to understand why she needs to have other friends, and that she does have a life apart from you.
Getting past your jealous behaviour isnt possible in a single step. You need to go slowly and take things one at a time. Best of luck!
2006-10-09 04:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Weird.Beryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like however you treated your gf was something she does not want to have to live with again no matter how much you say you have changed. If you can remain friends long enough she may see your "changes" & there may be hope for you yet. If you don't have that much patience to wait for her (without any insurance she will eventually want you back) then move on & learn from your mistakes. Life is hard but we must try to live our lives being the best person we can be. Peace.
2006-10-09 04:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by curiousgeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have ruined it..sorry to say, because when somone has jealousy issues as bad as you...it's hard to over come that...and you on your word alone is not going to convince your ex that you've changed....you need to take this as a lesson learnt....because we often learn from our mistakes....and if it wasnt for those very mistakes how would we learn....now if you have a controlling problem you very well need to go seek some help....because although you may want to change...but it may take some professional help to do the work... because if you get involved with someone else without seeking help....that contolling...jealousy pattern will eventually surface...and you may not even realize your doing it....because you have been doing it for so long you think its normal behaviour....thats why they have help out there for those who need it...cause all your going to do is repeat the same pattern with your new mate....and befor you know it that relatioship will be over....and it will be too late for you to repair it...all due to your controlling...jealousy issues please go get help A.S.A.P
2006-10-09 05:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by tanya m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.
=======
If you have the time, and you are looking for someone, complete this simple
form and start dating.
http://**************/go.php
2006-10-09 05:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by jjs l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to start daiting again from the start and prove to her u have changed that means no sex or anything until the dating has come to the end and u ask her to be your fiance but u may not show any jelousy if u do it will backfire and u really will lose her all together
ladydragonhrt062
2006-10-09 04:52:46 · answer #7 · answered by wildcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only for true love - The more a partner love you.. the more he/she get jealous
2006-10-09 04:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will be hard.because u can't really change and she knows that.
2006-10-09 04:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by cherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just listen to your heart......
ok?............................:)
2006-10-09 04:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by maryamok_haris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋