I have a son that just turned 5 last week. About 1 month ago we caught him and the 4 year old girl across the street in the bedroom touching each other. I know they did'nt know what they were doing but it was still shocking. We sit them down and told them what they were doing was wrong. Well about a week later my son come to me and told me while he was at his friends house his friend an 8 year old boy wanted to see his penis. I asked him what he did and he said that he showed it to him and the 8 year old showed him his. Is this normal and is this OK?????? I don't know what to do but tell them it is wrong. Is that right. I don't know????
2006-10-08 21:08:22 · 14 answers · asked by Daryl C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you can't stop it. and it is normal whether or not you want to believe it. kids are naturally curious. you don't want to tell them it's bad, but then again you don't want to tell them it's okay either.
i don't know how to help you with this b/c i was never caught doing that at my age. my boy cousin and i were curious at that age and we did the same exact thing. we would look and touch each other b/c we were curious.
but, when they get older they will grow out of it and forget it ever happened.
2006-10-08 21:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Pearlz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was listening to loveline earlier today and a girl called in and said that she did that when she was ur sons age. What he said was that it isn't as abnormal as you think-He was saying how maybe there's some tension in the household or maybe ur son does this (touch himself) as one of the only way for him to, not necessarily please himself, but destress or somethin'. However, if others are asking ur son to do this, like his friends, then those kids are a little...not as healthy if you will. But from what I think, you shouldn't tell him it's wrong and or not right, because what's going to happen when he gets older, it may affect him in relationships with intimacy sometime in the future ( i mean older, i know he's only five and u don't really want to think about him having a girlfriend lol). Also, I hope all the little boys did were look not touch, maybe u should find out, maybe they were just being silly boys, but if they (2boys) touched each other, I think u'd have to take them apart or something before ur son gets emotionally tramatized. But I'm not saying that's the case! It is normal-even tho it's early has not too much a difference as say 5 more years later. Once again don't sit there and tell him it's wrong, it is normal, he could have seen this happen and thus reinact this or maybe he's just curious? Also, I don't know what your religious beliefs are either so it's kinda hard to say what to do..but beleive me, there are pleenty of kids who do this at an early age....
2006-10-08 21:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by cjb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal for children to be curious, and when you notice these things going on it's time to talk to your child and explain that those parts of his body are "private" for his use only. Children ages 3 to 5 it is normal curiosity, by the time a child is 6 to 8 yrs old they have noticed mom and dad's habits, if you don't go about your home naked, the child will be more reserved about their own body's and begin to understand about privacy. If the parents talk openly in front of the child about sexual things and go about the house barely clothed or naked then their child will have the same out look . I would be very concerned at what intentions the 8 yr old had in mind and would be paying very close attention. And do you know his parents and their views on sexual behavior etc. Don't think that because he is only 8 years old that he's an innocent child.For the most part kids at that age are still innocent but then there are those that aren't If his parents have an open mind about sex, chances are he has seen and heard more than he should have at this age,Take care that your son doesn't become this 8 yr old's victim! In to days world a parent cannot turn their attention away from their child for an instant because there are weirdos at every corner just waiting for an opportunity! And weirdos usually start at a very young age,"some" from being a victim of molestation, some because their parents weren't very good role models! Trust your inner feelings "gut feeling" if the actions of this 8 year old make you feel uncomfortable. That is your gut feeling putting you on alert!
2006-10-08 22:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son should not be "friends" with the 8 year old. The 8 year old is way too precocious. If you want to make the 8 year old's parents aware of the situation, that's up to you, but I would NOT let my child be with him again.
You need to sit your 5 year old down again and explain to him that you do not show your body to other people in that manner. And no one has a right to ask him to do so. You should also make it clear to him that he doesn't ask others either. You definitely don't want some parent calling the authorities about it.
2006-10-08 22:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are born curious, otherwise take them for a thorough checkup. we are blessed with a short memory, but when someone reacts strongly to a situation we seem to remember that incident for a longer period, so what I would recommend is strong appreciation for good deeds that you want the child to repeat and absolute nonchalance for acts you do not want repeated - just tell the child what is right and what is wrong without any anger.
Each child comes to this world like dry mop, ready to suck up anything that they come across, the good, the bad, the ugly. Certain things which they pickup from home, the neighborhood, the community,the school, can corrode their brain.when this happens it takes a lots and lots of love and affection to ceanup the mess. For the child's sake and your's - like you use a lot of cleanup a dirty mop -use a lot of love and affection to cleanup her hurt spirits try to find the little good things in her, and encourage her - trying to find fault and punishing only further deteriorates the situation causing irrepairable damages
2006-10-08 22:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by joey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its natural.....
I remember when I was 3 the little boy my meme babysat and I experimented. When we got caught we hid outside in the high grassy fields. I only remember it happening a few times.
I am guessing your son's friend wanted to see who was bigger..... I would let your 8 year old son that its really not appropriate play and that he should keep his in his pants. At least until he is older.
2006-10-08 21:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal. My son also done the same thing, and what i was told by his doctor was kids at this age dont know the meaning behind "nasty". They have no clue, they are innocent. They see that you have something different than me... they dont know why its bad. As for the older kid, He should know the difference, but for your son, perfectly normal.
2006-10-08 21:22:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably a normal thing but you have to explain what could happen with BAD PEOPLE. Older kids could do unspeakable things and your son needs to know what is BAD
2006-10-09 02:55:43 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of parenting. You did what you could already when you sat him down and talked to him. Be amazed that he came to you with the second situation. From that it sounds to me that you have laid a strong ground work that you should be proud of. There is trust don't start to make things tough for him or even though he trusts you he may start keeping secrets that grow to real problems
2006-10-08 21:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by swami242 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it's normal they are courius and the want to know why they are diffrent it's seems now would be a good time to explain that these are private parts and that no1 should touch his and he should touch anyone else
2006-10-12 11:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋