More NT fun?

Question

1 Corinthians - If you are to be a good Christian you must try to know nothing (except for Jesus, of course). 2:2-5 Slaves should not desire their freedom. Yet they should not be the servants of men. 7:21, 23 "Whether there be prophecies, they shall fail."
Paul prophesies that all prophecies will fail. But since this itself is a prophecy, it also will fail (if the prophecy is correct), making it a false prophecy. 13:8
Galatians - "I would they were even cut off which trouble you."
Gosh, that doesn't sound very nice. But I wonder what Paul meant by "cut off". The New Revised Standard Version translates this verse as: "I wish those who unsettle you would castrate themselves!" 5:12
Revelation - Jesus has white hair, eyes of fire, feet of brass, and has a sword sticking out of his mouth. 1:13-16 Repent -- or else Jesus will fight you with the sword that sticks out of his mouth. (Like the limbless knight in Monty Python's "Holy Grail.") 2:16
I'm sorry, but this stuff is too funny!

You know, I have been reading the Bible for a long time in an attempt to understand what makes people think the way they do. And a lot of this is stuff I've thought too. I was a semi-believer - until yesterday. A woman on this forum, who I will not name, said that "God called" those little Amish girls who were murdered "home to be with him." And I thought, my word, if someone thinks it's okay for children to be molested and brutally murdered because they're going to be with "God" there is something very wrong somewhere. That's why I'm doing this.

Her words - "He took all of His children home to be with Him. Praise the Lord!"
Yeah, let's praise someone who lets this happen to kids. Okay.

Answer 1

Maybe you shouldn't make fun of the things that you obviously know nothing about.

Answer 2

Well, let's see... we've also got:

*  a universe in which all that exists are the earth and heaven
*  solid 'firmament' structure (the sky) separating the earth from heaven (terrarium earth)
*  talking snakes (with legs) and donkeys
*  shepherd staff turning into an asp
*  demons chased out of people and into pigs
*  friendly spirits
*  evil spirits
*  walking on water
*  multiplying loaves and fishes
*  food falling from the sky
*  conception by a ghost
*  people raising from the dead
*  the sun stopping in its tracks
*  parting seas
*  people being bodily sucked up into heaven (which, by the way, lies on the 'other side' of the sky)
*  world-wide flood that drowned the earth to a depth of 40 feet above the tallest mountain
*  creating people from dust bunnies and ribs
*  magical tree of knowledge
*  god speaking from a burning bush
*  ritual cannibalism, by eating god in the form of a cracker

Answer 3

Yeah it is funny. When Christians tell me I am dumb for not believing in god, I tell them they are dumb for believing in all the junk in their bible. I will gladly point it out to them just like you are doing.

I take it you are not a christian neither. I am an Atheist.