What are words of encouragement and support should I give my boyfriend whos family is falling apart? His mom and dad is breaking up and he still has a brother and sister who is in school and now he is working for all of them (dad left and doesnt give child support, and lives with the other woman).
Our relationship is affected by this and he gets depressed... there is nothing else to do for him but be there for him. I should understand that there are times when he tends to neglect our relationship but I cannot blame him. I think Id be the same if I were in his shoes... I should understand right? What should I tell him? How can I help him get over this? I know in time things will be better, but he loses hope every now and then, especially when his dad comes over and messes everything...
I know its not my problem, but my boyfriend is my problem and I cant help but feel sad when he is sad... How to help cheer him up and not lose hope?
2006-10-08 20:31:31 · 5 answers · asked by joe_logs_a_co 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This happened once before and that really tore my bf apart... Then everything became ok when his dad returned to the family and eventually left the other woman... But after a few months, it happened again! His hate for his father is getting worse bec his dad kept leaving... I dont think he even left the other woman... anyway, thats not my problem, but what to do with my bf? How to cope?
2006-10-08 20:34:44 · update #1
All you can do is be there for him, you can not fix the problem. Perhaps some counseling would help him through this tough time. Let him talk when he needs to.
Good luck to all of you
2006-10-09 05:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by doicu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexual immorality is the great destroyer of modern day society unfortunately. It's like a black cancer eating away at the fabric of society and sadly it is the children that are the most affected....they in turn often screw their lives up because of the emotional torment they didn't know how to deal with.
I know you are his girlfriend and sometimes the pity factor can sometimes come into play. Often I have seen women ruin their life by feeling so bad that they try to make their relationship work even when the guy can't make it work (due to emotional instability because of a broken family). It's something that is very hard to deal with....I hope that he has the inner strength and courage to lift himself up and move on otherwise he will drag himself down and take you and your future with him.
I suggest he see a councillor. It's important for him to talk and let off steam. His father sounds like a back-stabbing deadbeat jerk who doesn't love his family........here is your boyfriend's chance to say "Hey!! He's a jerk!!! And there's no way I'll be like him!!!".
Otherwise, eventually, he WILL drag you down with him. Life is too short, live cautiously but live with important certainties in your life. I know it's cold and perhaps cruel to say this, but it's the truth.....statistics show that people who come from broken families often have broken families of their own. A person's emotional make-up has a big effect on how they manage their life and how they perceive their role in life and family.
Good luck to him and to you....tell him to keep his chin up and remember that he is still loved, that he can make a difference.
Good day.
2006-10-08 21:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jesus S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I'd suggest that he help his mother file for child support. If the father is working (at least here in the states) It can be deducted from his paycheck every payday whether he likes it or not. If he owes back child support that will be taken out of any tax refund he gets or if he doesn't get anything back it will be taken out of any type of payment/inheritance he gets. But his mother must push for child support and she has to be persistent.
2006-10-08 21:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the best way for your boyfriend to not go thru so many emotional roller coasters is for him to stay away from his dad so hes not around all of his negativity...it will be hard for your boyfriend to do that but it will be good for him and family. Be there for him support him as much as you can and tell him that what hes going thru isnt his fault and people have issues and he shouldnt feel the way he does. Hes trying his best and he shouldnt beat himself up,he can do so much.
2006-10-08 20:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by B* 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bring him to a strip club. (You go with him) When you get home attack him.
He'll be smiling from ear to ear.
2006-10-08 20:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋