I'm seeing this guy who I like quite a bit, but I'm not totally sure how he feels. He says he wouldn't do anything with another girl but I'm not sure if I completely believe him. He's not the best at calling when he says he will (shock horror) and sometimes he seems quite blase about the whole thing. Considering we've only known each other for a few weeks, I don't know whether it's just his personality or whether he's not taking it too seriously.
I don't know if I should keep my options open, even innocent dates. He usually acts like he's into me when we're together, but he doesn't go out of his way to see me, I do most the work. Should I keep my options open while not actually dating anyone else, or just go with it and see what happens. I don't want to waste my time on someone who might not even be that into me!
2006-10-08 20:24:06 · 13 answers · asked by belle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What I am wondering is why you are spending any time and enery on this guy - what is it that you like about him because it does not sound like you two are really compatible.. You seem outgoing and straight forward and he sounds more wishy-washy and confusing..
I would definately date other guys - just let him know that you are dating other people - that way he can too if he wants to. Hard to tell what he is doing or thinking without any communication on his part at all. Even if you get closer to him - he will revert to this withdrawn behavior from time to time - when problems arise most likely and you should ask yourself if you really want to date someone who is going to keep you guessing all of the time..
Maybe he is just shy and not being himself but after - even just a few weeks, he should have opened up a little bit.. I mean most people know where they stand - somewhat - when they start to see someone - meaning - they know if it is an open relationship or an exclusive one. But you guys have not even communicated that and you can't trust him from what you say -
I would keep things so open I would not date him anymore to tell you the truth. But - if there is something that makes you want to find out more about him, leave the next move to him - don't call or go out of your way - see if he does and if he doesn't, you don't want to deal with someone who gives you nothing in return - no energy or enthusiasm, etc. Guys do call when they want a girl - I mean there is some game playing but that doesn't even sound like what he is doing - that would be too much for this guy - guys go after what they want and yea they may wait a day or two to call but they will call - cause they want you .. they don't want to miss out and let that girl date others - not even risk it.. I have always dated guys that call when they say they will - I was never one for any real games - I didn't really play them and wouldn't date someone who did - there are men who will call when they say they will and not feel that they have to wait so they don't look desperate. If this is how this guy is now - when he is supposed to be trying to "impress" you - what is going to happen in a month... 6 months.. normally the most effort is in the early stages of relationships so I don't see this going anywhere - not that will make you happy and you deserve to be happy.
Normally the beginning of relationships is fun and exciting - intruiging -- you are just getting into each other and the attraction is overwhelming but it sounds like this guy is killing all of the fun that new relationships and dating are supposed to include..
I wouldnt' wait around for this guy - at all. Leave the next move up to him - maybe if you are not making the next move - he will - maybe he wants to chase you a bit or maybe he just has no energy to pursue anything.. whatever it is sounds like he needs to wake up -- or he will miss out.. My advice - find a guy that deserves you...
2006-10-08 20:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
News Flash-he's a guy, they never call when they say they will so that shouldn't be a shock. If you're not sure what he thinks of you ask!!! The reason relationships fail is lack of communication. Quit playing stupid games and ask. If you're both on the level that you're not exclusive than date around, but make sure you're on the same page otherwise hearts can be broken. And it sounds like if you are feeling like you need to keep your options open you're not that into him in the first place so perhaps you ought to just move on. There have been times when I wasn't sure how my potential guy felt about me, but I was way into him and not even thinking about "keeping my options open." I just let it play out as it may, and if it didn't work I moved on. Keeping your options open just means you're waiting for something better to come along. Why not just get it over with now and find the better person you're waiting around for anyway?
2006-10-09 03:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by FrasierFan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely keep your options open. If this guy is flakey on the meeting up with you and calling you aspect this soon, it will only get worse. These are the weeks in a budding relationship where the guy is calling you more than he will be in a few months and setting up things to do with you a lot. This is the time period that should be what I like to call the "Butterfly" time. (Because of that sickening sweet feeling you get when you think about them; ie butterflies in your stomach.)
Plus, he thinking that you are still independent and desireable by other men, will make him chase you more and then HE will probably put the exclusive thing on the table.
2006-10-09 03:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by : ) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation as you and honestly, it was breaking my heart as I really fell for the guy. I was considering seeing other people, even tho we said we would not do that, as he didn't seem to give a sh!t either way (regardless of what he said).
One night I cracked and said how unfair he was being to me, and how i wasnt going to be strung along anymore. I said I didnt think we should see each other as I knew i would end up getting hurt. I didnt yell or anything when i talked to him, just acted normally and added I wasnt pressuring him, I just wanted to him to know that.
I was actually happy to walk away from him then and there if I got a negative response to what I said.
Luckily for me, he saw sense (lol), and we are still happy together.
GoodLuck :)
p.s A while after this happened my fella and I were discussing why he had acted the way he did. His response? I was scared you would lose interest and hurt me. Guys are kinda like girls!!!
2006-10-09 04:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Not_a_toothless_pirate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You should not "leave your options open" in any relationship.
If you've only known each other for a few weeks, and, as you say, you're doing most of the work to keep this relationship going, then you're chasing him, and you need to back off. Let him make the next move, if there's going to be a next move. If he doesn't make a move, that doesn't necessarily mean he's a jerk. But it does mean he isn't interested in you, and that DOESN'T mean you're not worth having.
2006-10-09 03:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep your options open he hasn't told you what he wants and if he's interested in just seeing you. So why should you sit by the phone waiting for him. go on and do yoru thing.
2006-10-09 03:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer. This guy is obviously not ready for a relationship. Either that or he is not very sensitive to your needs. I would find somebody you don't have to chase.
2006-10-09 03:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely acceptable to keep your options open.
If he doesn't seem to be willing to put the effort into making something serious happen, then you shouldn't feel obligated to either.
2006-10-09 03:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your options open and your legs closed.
2006-10-09 03:37:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU REALLY LIKE THE GUY QUITE A BIT THEN YOU BETTER PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOME HURTING BECUZ' AS YOU DESCRIBE HIM HE SEEMS JUST THE KIND OF GUY WHO WILL ONLY USE YOU FOR SOMEWHAT LIKE A "SPARETIRE", IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SO JUST GO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE THAT YOU WILL LIKE A LOT AND NOT QUITE A BIT.
2006-10-09 03:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋