My parents are currently going through a divorce and it seems that unless I'm badmouthing my father, my mom assumes I'm on his side. She very untrusting and might be bipolar. Personally, I'm really sick of counseling her and would prefer if she would just stop talking about all of the negative issues in her life with me because obviously my words do nothing. What can I do? This is too stressful for me on top of everything else.
Any advice from someone in a similar situation would be nice.
2006-10-08 19:49:00 · 13 answers · asked by __ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There are too many good answers. I can't decide on this one.
2006-10-11 11:30:35 · update #1
What you stated could be easily stated to a therapist or counselor at school. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and your mom is stressing over a bad situation -- but it affects you too, and she needs to get a grip. Hopefully, she will wake up and go to a therapist. maybe you could suggest to someone she listens to that she goes to a therapist as she's stressing and driving you crazy.
2006-10-08 19:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is trouble talk. I imagine that your mother is feeling rather vulnerable and unloved right now. By sharing her feelings (understandably mostly negative at the moment) with you she is working through the painful process of divorce.
You don't have to counsel her, indeed I would advise against it, all you have to do is be a willing ear. That your words obviously mean nothing (you sound just like a man) is not the point. She doesn't want you to solve her problems with your incisive analysis; she wants you to help her grieve.
Be a friend to your mother right now. You will look back on this time in years to come and you will be glad you did what you could to ease her pain.
2006-10-09 02:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a real bad spot, and I am sorry for you. I think the best thing you might try is the absolute truth, tell your mom this is the way I see it and this how I feel and that is it, do not let her pull you into arguments or make you take sides , tell it is not fair, you are not the one getting the divorce, and you are not going to be her local marriage councillor. tell her to take her problems to a professional and them walk away. If this does not work go to a school councillor and ask for their help for you to take care of your self. Your parents are supposed to be the adults , it is about time they acted like it
2006-10-09 03:16:01 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Mom needs to see a counselor. Children should never be made to chose one parent over the other. Even though they are not happy with each other they are still your parents. Perhaps you can nicely tell her you are sorry for their problems but that you will always love both of them, and would appreciate it if she would not run him down to you, as your farther (hopefully) doesn't run her down to you.
You are in a tough spot sometimes adults don't act like adults. Be patient with them this is hard for them also.
2006-10-09 12:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by doicu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing like parenting a parent= she needs your support and you hers=she should not put you in the middle- she needs to keep her bad mouthing to herself= whether it is true or not= have you told her it is not your job to be put in the middle and be pulled apart- and to talk to another adult friend= not a dau. or son that right in the middle of it? Pleeez tell her= Sorry you are going through this= suggest- nicely-counseling for her and maybe you= this is the pits I know=been there=take care= D
2006-10-09 03:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sry this is happening to you.sounds like you are in the middle of all of this,your mom needs major help.she shouldnt be bad mouthing your father or putting him down in front of you anyways.i can see you are going to have to be blunt and say hey mom i dont like it when you do that and i think you need to go to the doctor.of course your mom may be very depressed and angry right now when she asks you anything about what you think about something between them just say "i'm staying out of it " that way your dad wont feel so bad either.sounds like your mom is wanting you to pick a side and that just is'nt right good luck to you i hope things get better for you and your family
2006-10-09 03:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is let her know, that you love them both, and it hurts you to see them both in the situation they're in. And you cannot take sides. And to please not ask you to. If she cant accept that, SHE has the problem, not you. Perhaps if you talk to a 3rd party professional to help keep your stress level to a minimum. Good luck, divorce is not a pleasant experience for any of you.
2006-10-09 02:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my parents both would say bad things about the other and wanted my imput and if i stuck up for one the other got pissed off. Just tell them i dont' want to be brought into this I love you both.
and leave it at that. Your mother shouldn't put you in the middle not fair to the kids.
2006-10-09 04:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter to "My parents" and say - You have chosen to get a divorce, but I am not choosing to divorce you, so please do not force me to take sides and do not ask me about each other.
Also you could suggest that people should not divorce, until they have dealt with all their issues and can make a clean break with no regrets or animosity...
2006-10-09 03:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learning how to deal with this is hard try to consalt her again but tell her if she doesn't listen to you she will regret it also tell her how much you love her so she can trust you even more good luck
2006-10-09 02:55:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋