My boyfriend is depressed. His family was recently involved in a scandal that eventually became a struggle for them and tore my bf apart. I understand what he was going through though. I began to just not take things personally and understand that its not my fault. To just be by his side when he needs a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on or space when he needs to think. . I know eventually, things will soon be ok, but he loses hope every now and then. It hurts to see him this way. He is awfully quiet and stares into nothing... Or sometimes hed ingnore me like i wasnt there.
It bothers me when people would say hurtful things like im not supposed to be treated this way, or that im taken for granted, or im a "martyr" for sticking with him... some just dont understand bec they just see the surface but not what's deeper. Some just dont know what is actually happening in his life and i felt like i really dont have to explain this to everyone who says stuff.
2006-10-08 19:24:42 · 5 answers · asked by joe_logs_a_co 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It happened before... and when he's not depressed, he is a sweet, loving and caring person... that is probably why I am sticking with him. Because there was a moment when he was really down and we broke up... then after a few months when he's ok, we got back together and was once again the same sweet person i was with... I know depression is confusing and thats why I needed people to help me cope... thanks.
2006-10-08 19:49:40 · update #1
I hope your boyfriend realizes now, or will in the future, what a good and kind woman he has in you. You are doing the best for him by listening. His is a situational depression and may go away as time progresses. But, be careful and keep a watch for signs the depression is getting worse. It may if he was predisposed to depression before the recent events happened.
Take care of yourself. Depression is hard on loved ones too. Be sure to take time out for you. Keep doing the things you like to do. While depression isn't contagious, it can taint a relationship with the constant down in the dumps thing. Be watchful that you aren't dragged in too deep. It may hurt, but in the end, you need to preserve your sanity and pull back from the relationship if it gets too much for you.
I speak from the viewpoint of one who has suffered long bouts of depression, some as long as several years. Mine is not a situational depression, but a chemical imbalance, but the result can be the same. My own family burned out on my depression, my wife and I divorced, and my children weren't close. Things are better, my wife and I are back, and the kids and I have gotten close again. but I learned that depressed people tend to push away their loved ones. If you see that happening with your boyfriend, be sure to talk to him about getting professional help. That may be a good idea anyway in order to get over the hurt and anger he feels from the events that have transpired.
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2006-10-08 19:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by jerry f 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to deal with a depressed loved one. Bless you for doing it. Your boyfriend needs help. Is there anyway you can talk him into seeing a doctor. The doctor may be able to recommend something that will help him or refer him to someone to talk to.
I am recovering from what was diagnosed as a Major Depressive Disorder. Only a few people stood by me. Made me realize who should be important in my life.
As for the people who criticize you, try saying to them, "apparently you don't know what it is like to love someone." That should shut them up. You wouldn't bail on someone who had cancer so why bail now. You are doing the right thing.
2006-10-08 20:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hiya
tell him how you feel and then give him time to think things through it will take time but dont give up on him he will get there in the end it shows how strong you both are and you can get through anything together
things will feel better soon it does not matter what other people say you know him best just let him know your there for him show him there is a thing called love good luck to you both
2006-10-09 02:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple logic
Give him self confidence. Tell him that your there for him in all troubles and happiness ask him to share everything with you so that he stops thinking of that particular thing when you giving him some new ideas and help him to get out of all kinds worries
2006-10-08 21:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by priya r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be there is all you can do, but he needs professional help too...he shouldn't be treating you bad at all...he too needs time for himself so he can get his mind at peace...
2006-10-08 19:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋