I have a very good friend named Shawn who is married and older than me. I have a boyfriend. Shawn and I have had a crush on eachother for a long time but we would NEVER do anything (act on it). I try to be friends with his wife but she always puts off a wierd vibe to me. Shawn and I love to flirt with eachother but it is totally innocent. Do you think I should back off with the flirting? We can't stay away from eachother because we are such good friends. I need some advice!
2006-10-08 19:20:03 · 29 answers · asked by countrygirl81886 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How can you expect Shawn's wife NOT to put out bad vibes? Seriously, flirting is seldom "innocent". It is ALWAYS fuel to underlying attraction, and be honest do you really think there are NO circumstances under which you wouldn't open up options for Shawn to take advantage of? Marriage is difficult enough today having to live up to the assinine images of life portrayed on "Friends" or "Sex in the City". Give this couple a chance and cool down.
2006-10-08 19:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Country girl, you just don't realize the power that you have over men. Especially a woman as fine as you are. You did say that "we would NEVER do anything", but can you hold yourself to that? Shawn cannot, and trust me on this, because he has an extra appendage that sometimes does his thinking!! Also, when you say that you cannot stay away from one another, what exactly do you mean by that? Do you ever see him apart from his wife?? Listen, I know it's fashionable these days, but having extra marital affairs ruins people's lives!!! Although I trust you that nothing would ever happen, can you put the stop sign up when HE wants something to happen?? You KNOW the tired old line, "Well, one thing led to another..."!! You just never really know until you've been put into that position!! Marriage is really the end of friendships between two people of the opposite sex--and when you think about it, that's the way it should be! You are a lovely young woman--please find a new "friend", one who fulfills every need you could imagine, and then some! And respect Shawn, even if you don't respect his wife, and stay away from them! You will undoubtedly feel better about yourself in the long run! By the way, Shawn should have had the good sense to tell you that he loves his wife very much, and that the two of you need to back off the friendship for the sake of his marriage! That in itself speaks volumes about Shawn's lack of respect for his wife--if she's not comfortable with the situation, HE surely isn't doing anything about it! No wonder his wife "puts out a weird vibe" to you--hell, who wouldn't in her same position?! You KNOW the difference between right and wrong--please prove it by staying away!!
2006-10-08 19:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by Rebooted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all I think that you should put off on the flirting. Why beacause its gonna cause a lot of problems between you and the wife. Also it might cause Shawn and the Wife to fight as well and you dont want to see Shawn in aggony right. So lay off the flirting even if it is innocent in currently going though a " Innocent Flirting " argument now. Anyways with you and the Wife try and work things out some more and she will give in. I see that you have a boy friend you should also concider how hes gonna feel if he sees you flirting with somone els even if its innocent he doesn't know that. Before I go always remember being alone is sad but being left alone is worse. Other than that good lucky =) hope I helped you in some kind of way.
2006-10-08 19:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by xxsamura1xx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The weird vibe is your sexual tension for him. Don't be a home-wrecker, sorry but if you guys cant seem to stay away you're going to do something very wrong and cause him and yourself a world of trouble!! His wife doesn't dersve for you to help there already sensitive situation he married her for a reason and for some reason he is forgetting that when you come around and flirt with him! your BF doesn't deserve that either!! If what you guys thought you had didn't happen long ago too bad get over it and stay with the people you moved on with! Try and keep the flirting to a minimum, she isn't blind and neuther is your BF don't cause tension that doesn't need to happen because flirting is never innocent when the people doing it get the right chance not to get caught!
2006-10-08 19:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by EriksSweetheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off a little. Can you blame Shawn's wife for being a bit jealous when she sees you flirting with him and all? Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?
Sounds to me like there is something more there than just very good friends.
But if and when Shawn would be to divorce and you would dump your boyfriend, its best to put some distance between you to. I'm not trying to sound like chick but maybe Shawn is your soul mate and you are his.
2006-10-08 19:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by Ed A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think you should back off with the flirting. His wife is likely putting off the vibe cause she sees something, and does'nt like it. It may be she's only warning you off, but more likely she's getting angry with him too.. It'll be putting a strain on his marriage. It sounds ike there's romantic feelings between you and Shawn. however deepseated they are, it's best to leave it be while he's in another relationship.
2006-10-08 20:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay off with the flirting, spouses can really sense that. you might think it's cool and Innocent, but take it from me, in his mind you are totally into him!!! That is just the way guys are, and we usually will act as though it is innocent to keep you at arms length if anything were to fail in our current endeavor. Well, good luck, and hope you can some day learn the ways of men. Listen to Leykis, and you will learn how it is that men think.
2006-10-08 19:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't mess up the friendship but yeah back off. Maybe you and Shawn just need to have a heart to heart talk about everything.
2006-10-08 19:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by Dwayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah chill out with the flirting. He is in a commited relationship. You aslo have a bf. Sometimes you want what you cant have and that makes the attraction (flirting) stronger. Bummer you havent had luck being his wife friend. Its hard to be friends with someone of the opposite sex when you or they are in a relationship but it is possible just becareful.
2006-10-08 19:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by PinkHighHeels 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably the wife senses what is going on between you and her husband and that is why she treats you funny. I know if my husband was flirting with another woman I wouldn't be too pleased and he wouldn't be seeing that woman again if I felt there was something going on between them, no matter how good of friends they were. He's married now and even though he finds it acceptable to flirt, I'd say stop now. It'll just cause more trouble down the road than it is worth.
2006-10-08 19:22:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋