other women while out dining with his *supposedly lovely wife* ??
Come on now, I have been with my husband for 15 yrs almost, and when we go out to eat especially he is busy checking out other women. I call him on it right then, and of course he has every lame excuse under the sun for an excuse to get out of being caught in the act. I feel so uncomfortable when he does this, ugly n humiliated. How can I stop him from doing this. Like I said 15 yrs almost and he hasn't changed yet, and may never, but it sure hurts when he does this. I think it is so desrespectful.
2006-10-08 18:40:01 · 23 answers · asked by Hi 3 in Dining Out ➔ United States ➔ Kansas City
Kansas City(Johnson County) guy here.....
If he's cheating on you....dump him and find a real man!
If he's not, consider yourself lucky.
I'm not married, so I look at women. BUT, I'm not married.
Your husband should be looking at you!!!!
2006-10-09 00:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Villain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy and to be honest, it is NOT right for a man to stare and at the same time fantasize about other women while dining out with another lady be it wife or girlfriend or whatever.
It is disrespectful to the person he is with and it demeans the whole occasion.
In all honesty, sometimes when a 'hot' lady walks by, it is hard not to look. But i do make every effort to look away of not be distracted whenever i am with someone.
If it hurts you, you can let him now. Go home, sit him down and have a serious talk with him to tell him how much it hurts you whenever he does that. He will tell you this:
a) It is a spur of the moment
b) It is a relfex action
c) He is just looking. there is no love of affection
d) You are the best. etc.....
But regardless, just tell him straight. No need to threaten or shout at him. Just be firm and say, honey...please, whenever you do that, it hurts me deeply. Please, try and not do it again.
Then if he does, i believe the hedge clippers are in the toolbox in the garage...you know what to do... heh heh.
take care, dont think too much and hope this helps.
Cheers
2006-10-09 01:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by Xanadu loves you 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know we would like to think that our husband/wives will never have a sexual desire outside of our current holy matrimony, but that's just not how it is. Unfortunately the sort of reality that you/everyone would like to live in does not exist. Sorry. No offense. Just because your husband may happen to see something beautiful beyond the focus of your current holy matrimony does not make him a bad person, or an adulterer. He is in fact just a human being with natural instincts. Don't be offended, I mean Christ, this man has dedicated 15 years to you. He is obviously is not trying to get away, nor is he trying to make you feel ugly or humiliated. If the man didn't occasionally give a curious glance at the opposite sex then I would be more worried about him longing for something about seven inches cut. Life isn't a fairytale, its merely reality and we all have to get used to it. If we don't then we are bound to forever be hurt.
2006-10-09 03:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by ;aldjf;lasdjf;lkj; 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a very insecure human. YOU feel ugly because he looks at someone else?? Oh please, what a shallow, silly person. He is either a saint or a wimp to put up with that kind of krap for 15 years.
Look in the mirror and see if you are ugly or not.
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HAHAHAHA this lady wrote me after reading my answer, said she didn't ASK my opinion (?) and I was probably ugly. I'm as ugly as the rear end of a horse taking a dump, so she is right on that, but I figured it out by looking in a mirror. She can't control who her husband looks at, and she's just SO upset and it threatens her whole opinion of herself. Come on ladies, why back up this silly silly woman. Women are strong enough to do better than this, and overlook far worse things in their mate's actions than sneaking a look at a dressed woman in a restaurant. Do you think just perhaps this poor man might have had to overlook a few things about her too in 15 years??? Where are the strong self-assured women I know to advise Ms. Whine?
2006-10-09 01:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you like to look at art? Beautiful scenery? A lovely sunset? It's basically the same thing except that there are many more pretty women admire at all most any given time. And most women want to be noticed and do what they can to be noticed. You can't change instinct. He has been with you for 15 years, you can stop being insecure.
2006-10-09 01:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by ninecoronas2000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, its not right at all. After all that time being married he should be focusing on you only. This happned to me once at a dinner party that I attended with my husband. I caught on right away and asked that we be excused for a moment. I took him up to the bathroom and told him I knew what was going on and that I was uncomfortable with it. Then I hiked up my skirt, removed my undies and made him switch with me. I figured that him wearing my silky VS briefs would be the best way for him to be a bit uncomfy (and for him to be humiliated but just between the two of us) while at the same time reinforcing the physical reminder that he belonged to me. Then, I did a bit of flirting myself for the remainder of the night. It was tough medicine for him but it worked well!
2006-10-09 07:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by melissaknowes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, extremely disrepectful but after 15 years he's not changing. Didn't you notice this little flaw before u got married? Hard to imagine that it started after you married him if it has been going on this long. I would just ask him, out of courtesy to you, if he could keep his eyes on his plate for the hour or so that you are out together. You are not leaving and he's not changing so make the best of it that you can.
2006-10-09 01:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by patti duke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the point is if you feel it is disrespectful then that is all that should matter. after 15 years your feelings should be first and foremost in this matter. start checking out other men and see if he responds in the same way. i can guarantee he wont like it. it may seem childish but the thing about change is it usually only happens when it costs time money or ego.
2006-10-09 04:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by bossy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's got this damn thing looking at others for 15 years and never changed,leave it. the more u think,the more u get irriated.
be happy he's just looking at others not going on to date with them.every man has got a weakness,this might be his.there is no use of giving a try now bcaz it's almost 15 years in to this ,YOUR LATE,but lucky.
2006-10-09 05:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by gowrav mj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the evening is done... he comes home to you. If you love him and he loves you, who cares what he's looking at? I'm sure you can appreciate a good looking man when he walks by. I think overall, if he's good to you don't get hung up on this fault of his. I once heard, "Life is like going into a bakery, you can always look, just never touch!" Appreciate his good characteristics and be glad he looks at you.
2006-10-09 03:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by Goldfinger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋