I've recently moved to this area, and I like this guy I've know for 3 mos, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, too, but I have unknowingly maneuvered myself into a position I hate. How do I give him the message that he will need to be decisive and to respect me? We are not involved physically, but emotionally, somewhat, and I was too distracted with getting set up in a new area and making friends and didn't want a rel until I got settled. I needed a cellist to play music with (him) but the fact is that I am in an uncomfortable situation. We have a very serious musical relationship, but he has a girlfriend he has never told me about. I recently found out because I finally had the time and focus to go to the trouble. Problem is, we have become good friends and are dealing with all of the rudimenary problems of a beginning relationship as a metaphor to the musical relationship. I want to keep play music, and I'd love to go out with him, but it makes me upset to feel all these unspoken things
2006-10-08 18:22:55 · 6 answers · asked by Leandra P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Over the course of writing your question, you have yourself answered it.
Damn the torpedoes. BE with him.
2006-10-08 18:29:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
If he has a girlfriend that he hasn't told you about and you both seem to be liking each other (more than just friendship) then I would suggest that you watch yourself. How would you like it if you had a boyfriend that dumped you for someone else or worse (was seeing someone else behind your back). If he's flirting with you in a subtle way so that you are thinking that he likes you, then it's for a reason. Guys like that are being what you call "indecisive" not because they are shy or don't know what they want, but most often because they want some "extra-curricular activity".
Do yourself a favor and stay friends with him. If he really liked you, he would have dumped his other girlfriend first before he went with you....it would show his character and trustworthiness as a person. And by all means, always respect yourself, never let anyone treat you as a "side-dish". Stand up for yourself and walk an honest path in life....and that includes "extra-curricular activities" too.......save it for when someone truly loves you...in marriage.
2006-10-09 01:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jesus S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep the relationship on a friendship level for the time being. Let him know that you know that he already has a girlfriend and you hope that she doesn't mind that he plays music with you. You can do that in rather a round-about way so he doesn't feel that you have been spying on him.
That puts him on notice that you know that he is already seeing someone else. If that situation were to change, however, you would be all lined up as you already have music in common, plus the friendship.
You know in your heart that taking the relationship farther than that while he is already seeing someone else is wrong. Besides if he goes out on her, then he will go out on you, too.
2006-10-09 01:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope your not one of those girls who asks the question but dosen' take the advice... but here it is anyway. (this is coming from a guy) if he had a girl and got close to you without telling you. there are some trust issues there. i would end **** while your not attatched. avoid a broken heart. there are plenty of guys out there that play msuic
2006-10-09 01:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by Adam D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u guys should strike up a relationship soon... but at least wait untill he breaks up with his girlfriend.
2006-10-09 01:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get in touch with him open up tell him what is going on with no mixed words. it could wor out better than you think.
2006-10-09 01:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by aaron h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋