Recently 17 yo sd came home and said that her bf's mom told her not to come over anymore and she did not want my sd to see her son anymore. My sd said that she had no idea why his mother was upset. I told hubby to check into it because it sounded odd that the mother would take a turn from adoring my sd to loathing her. He didn't check into it. Today a friend called and told me that she ran into my sd's boyfriends mom and that his mother told my friend that she caught my sd and her son in bed together. She has asked her to stop coming over but my sd continues. She is 17 and her bf is 15. How do i go about telling my husband? should i tell him? Or should I tell him that our friend has information on why my sd isn't wanted over at her bf's house anymore? Or perhaps I could tell her grandparents? I'm not sure what to do because i know he is going to take this hard. suggestions?
2006-10-08 18:17:05 · 22 answers · asked by lilmisstickletoo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
since it's your step daughter,keep your nose out of it
2006-10-08 20:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OY! I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.
I don't know if you should tell your husband or not. In some ways, I think you probably should, because if he finds out his daughter has been having sex and that you knew all along, he could be just as angry with you, and that wedge could cause a possible problem in your own marriage. While I think you'd be making a good decision to tell your husband, going to your in-laws or passing the responsibility of telling your husband off to your friend seem like not-so-great decisions.
Regardless, talk to your stepdaughter about the jailbait she's dating, and talk to her about the importance of safe sex. If you don't feel like you can do that, then absolutely, you should tell your husband so he can talk to her about it. That the mother made such a decisive move after seeing her under-age son having sex with your stepdaughter makes me think she might act on the statutory rape issue if she knows it continues.
2006-10-08 18:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the wife to this girls father. There shouldn't be any secrets between the two of you.
You and your husband are partners. you don't keep things from each other. The girl is a child.....she shouldn't be having sex at her bf's house. Bottom line is that she is a kid and it isn't your
job to hide her bad behavior.
I know this will be hard from him to hear. But imagine how hard it would be if he knew you kept it from him.....that would be ten times worse.
Sit your husband down and just gently tell him. Ask him to let it sink in before he reacts. If he does react in anger..well this is a consquence of his daughters actions. This is his daughter and you don't have any reason to keep secrets from him. She will be mad at you.....but you didn't do anytyhing wrong...she did. So, don't let her get to you. You are the adult and she is the kid.
2006-10-08 18:24:02 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What you don't know will not hurt you. Keep your hubby out of this and try to maintain a semblance of normalcy unless you want the roof to come down on you and your sd.
2006-10-08 18:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by kenyanmartin2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you on good terms with your step-daughter? If yes, talk to her. About pre-marital sex, safe sex, sex with an underage, etc... But if the father and daughter has a better relationship, then tell the father, and let him have a nice chat with his daughter.
Your husband's daughter is your daughter as well. Treat her like your own.
2006-10-08 18:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by taryyip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing I would do is talk to the bf mother. Get the facts from the source. If this is in fact what happend yes you need to discuss it with her father. Could end up being harder for you if he finds out you knew and did not talk with him.
2006-10-09 05:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by doicu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him but I would talk with her about it make sure she's being safe and to let her know that she needs to stop going over there like his mother asked and that he is a little to young for her to be sleeping with
2006-10-08 18:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by blood_shadow_walks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you need to talk to her not your hubby,and her boyfriend needs some of the blame,,,,sounds like the mother is telling the neighborhood...i mean if you heard it from someone else...she needs a older bf..good luck with all
2006-10-08 19:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am lost for words....I would tell you to think very hard about this situation and try to come to a conclusion about what to do.
As for the husband, tell him, he is apart of the family, but first sit him down and explain the issuse and tell him not to go overboard.
2006-10-08 18:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by cobo6 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should do what you would want to have done to you if you were 17 again. Try and spare her any further embarrasssment or shame, and use this experience to show her you are trustworthy............it will also be a great bribery tool in the future....kidding...well sort of kidding, sort of NOT kidding.
2006-10-08 18:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
do you have a good relationship with your step daughter,,if so talk to her about it not your husband,,sometimes a little girl talk will help,,it is no one elses business and I know how dad's react,,sometimes going over board,, she is not a little girl anymore and she may just need to talk to someone she can trust
2006-10-08 18:23:31 · answer #11 · answered by too shy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋