How do you greet mean neighbors when passing?

Question

I noticed that my next door neighbors were very mean people back when they first moved in a couple years ago when I first tried to communicate with them they just came off as being arogant, as if I was a worthless being. Even now when I say hello to them they stick their nose in the air and turn their backs toward me. I never done anything to them and I get along with my other neighbors fine (they have no opinion about the new neighbor). Since I live in a city where the homes are about 5 feet apart, I just want to know what to say (or think) if I see them outside.

Answer 1

Ignore them. You cannot draw blood from a turnip. You cannot look for manners where they do not exist.

Answer 2

G Dog your first reaction may be to get just as ignorant with them. But then your feeding in to their game. You keep waving and smiling. It is what sets you apart from the gutter they are actually in. It makes people more angry when your nice then when your mean. Maybe you might win them over and they will realize what a total ignorant neighbor they have been to you. But if these never happens at least when you close your eyes at night you can sleep with a clear conscious of what a kind and nice person you are. You are totally on the money here. Most people will tell you to get ignorant, yell what a jerk they are. Or steal there news paper before they wake up on Sunday morning. But that is what sets you apart from the norm of what people do today. I want to say I think your a rare find and I would love to have you for a neighbor any day of the week.

Answer 3

We live in a city where houses are very close together with no space between walls in many cases. There is very little privacy, property is very expensive, and neighbors don't always want to know one another. That is too bad, because in a quest for privacy we lose the opportunity for the fellowship and mutual support which neighbors can provide for one another.

Our neighbors don't socialize with one another on the block -- mostly keep to their own family and church groups.

Sometimes I don't say "Hi" when I see a neighbor in the yard, sometimes they don't greet me either -- but there are no hard feelings. When we feel like talking, we might stand outside for 15 min. to 30 min talking and gossiping about our family and happenings in the neighborhood, or world in general. For some reason, my neighbors prefer my husband and I am viewed as aloof. But that is OK with me, because sometimes I don't feel like talking.

Your neighbor probably doesn't have the same good manners and you do: So you have a positive cultural trait (friendliness) which you should not suppress. By saying "Good morning or Good afternoon or Good evening" when you happen to see them from your yard and then going about your business, not even waiting for a response, you have already met your social obligation and you are training your neighbors about politeness to boot. That is what I do. Or as alluwante suggested earlier, smile -- if you catch their eye.

I understand this social pattern is not unusual in my city. There are neighborhoods that socialize and have block parties, though.

Answer 4

Please don't feel worthless. YOu are doing good. Don't push it.
Did you ever notice your other neighbors being polite or going out of their way to talk to the mean ones? Probably not. That there says a lot.

There is an old proverb: We know alot about our neighbors lives through observance, hearing, and through other neighbors.

Look up to the other good neighbors. Watch the pros!
Never look at losers because you will NEVER learn from them.

Just think about it everyone likes a good caring person, and they want to be around them and make friends.

Now, if you see a guy mean, menacing, spitting on the ground he walks on, why look at him at all? It's just looking downward with nothing to learn.

Answer 5

Why does their behavior bother you? Don't worry about it. The only thing you can do is to be yourself. You have no control over your neighbor and their lives. It has nothing to do with who you are-BE YOURSELF. If you want to buy their love and attention then bake them some cookies. Remember a gift is a gift. Once given then you no longer have ownership over it. If you give them your attention and they choose to ignore it-you no longer have ownership. That is their choice. BE YOURSELF! If you are a happy, gregarious person then greet your neighbors that way. You may be surprised.

Answer 6

No matter how you personally feel, at some point you will need your neighbors for something --access to their alleyway, driveway to get a ladder to your roof, something big delivered to your back yard, etc. I have a 4 foot alleyway between neighbors on left & a wide driveway on right. Right side are lovely but they bought from a bitchy old lady who was a pain in the *** but we knew we'd need her driveway for different large deliveries for the backyard so we always acted civilly -no matter how she complained, etc. We had yards of dirt delivered & would never have been able to do it without asking her 1st. Neighbors on left were wonderful --he died & his neice & her family moved in --they're rude, had a roof repaired & didn't notify us. Their contractors damaged our siding, our trim, damaged window air conditioners (we would have removed them had we known), ripped our screens & they had the nerve to put planks across from their roof to ours without asking!! We told them how we felt but politely but we do not feel kindly towards them & have a suit pending against their contractor for the damage. They're most ignorant but I had to have the roof inspected for the lawsuit & had to notify them that we'd have a ladder in their ( 3/4 theirs) alleyway. They cannot prevent us & the notification was being polite. My point being --just nod if your eyes meet outside --if not don't say anything. You just have to be the one that they cannot complain about because you have done/ said something wrong because you never know when you will need to ask them something. But remember it does work two ways & neighbors need not be your friends (as their uncle was to me) --just need a civil relationship.
Good luck! Take the high road & let them be the lowlifes on the block.

Answer 7

I would smile or nod to be polite and, to show you have much more class than they do. But, I would never say anything or more importantly, not even look like I am interested in saying anything..If you do that long enough, they will nod , or even say hello. That's when you have the option of answering or, if your really not interested in them saying nothing..

Answer 8

Two wrongs don't make a right. Even if they are really judging you, that doesn't give you any reason to be anything other than a friendly and polite neighbor.

Answer 9

You worry too much about your neighbors. Good neighbors are great to have, but you really don't need them, and it sounds like you'd be better off not even acknowledging them.

Answer 10

Continue being polite, greet them with a wave and a hello. Take the higher ground no matter what their reaction.

Answer 11

You can just smile every time you see them. Do not do more than that. Else, they may consider that as intruding into their lives.

A smile works miracles.

All the best

regards

Ramesh
The Human Search Engine
http://www.alluwanted.com