Let me give you a little background first. My finacee and I have been together for 8 years now. We started dating in high school. We have a 4 1/2 year old son together and we are getting ready to buy house. And we are getting married. We are in a disagreement about a wedding plan I wanted to know what everyone thought. I really want to have my dad walk me down the aisle. But I also thought I should have my son go down on the other side of me. If my dad is going to give me away I think my son should also have the chance to do the same. He could say I do after my dad or say nothing at all. Then have a ringbearer because my flower girls are twins. But he wants our son to be the ringbearer because he doesn't think walking me down the aisle is incorporating him into the wedding enough. Any ideas?
2006-10-08 17:46:35 · 24 answers · asked by Kellen's Mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
So........ since most of you say not to let him give me away. I see what you are saying about leaving one family and making another. He wants to walk with me and his pop (my dad) would it be wrong to let him be a ring bearer but have him walk with me and have another ringbearer walk in the traditional spot? And let them each carry one ring?
2006-10-08 18:06:08 · update #1
I'm open to all ideas!!! Everyone involved is split in this decision!!
2006-10-08 18:30:36 · update #2
Well, my son was 4 when I married my second husband and we talked to him about what he wanted and what he was able to do. He decided he liked the idea of being the ring bearer because he got to pick out the pillow that the rings would be attatched to. To give you my opinion - I think ring bearer is more appropriate since giving you away is more symbolic of you leaving your father's home and starting your own. But I don't think that it would be wrong to do it the other way. Me and my second husband really custom fit our wedding to be exactly the way we wanted it - so go for it. It is your special day and you should have what you want. In my ceremony, my 15 year old daughter did her part by singing us a love song during the ceremony and did a lovely job - that was her wedding gift to us. So, like I said - decide what it is that you want and go for it. I also kept in mind what our Pastor said - it is the bride's day. This is her day to shine - it is all about her. And told my husband that he should let me have my way. :-D I really got int that. LOL. I'm sure whatever you decide will be wonderful. Congrats and have a great wedding.
2006-10-08 17:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by Shadowtwinchaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you son walk down the aisle with you. Your dad can "give" you both away. That way your son would be included in the entire wedding.
I assume you mean your fiance does not think walking you down the aisle is incorporating your son enough. Being a ringbearer would be putting him into a secondary position. If you want your son included, keep him with you and your husband as you exchange your vows.
2006-10-08 20:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it sounds like a nice twist on tradition, i think the giving away of the bride is soley a fathers privilege. I also think maybe being so young he might be more comfortable walking down the aisle with the flower girls, or by making him the ringbearer he will feel a little more speical as that is a special job soley for him to do, instead of sharing a responsibility with his grandad.
Maybe its just best to ask him what he would like to do more.... at the end of the day its your day and you should do what makes you most happy.
2006-10-08 18:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ree 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the pleasure of attending a wedding recently, where the situation was somewhat the same. Our friend was marrying a woman who had a son from a previous relationship...I think he was 7 at the time, so obviously a little older than yours.
They made arrangements so that all three of the people in the new family made vows to each other. It was not just the husband and wife vowing to love each other, but the mom, dad and son, all vowing to be a family together forever. It was really nice.
2006-10-09 10:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your fiancee is really insistant that your son be included why not make him a Jr. Groomsman and ring bearer? He can walk down the aisle with the rings and then join the men at the altar. You are your father's child for him to give away and one day when your son gets married you will understand why this is such an old honored tradition. Your son is yours to give away, you are not his to give away, although I see where you are coming from. In older marriages where the children are grown and the mother is divorced or widowed that is acceptable, but I think in your instance it would be more appropriate to have your father walk you down. Can you think of a special song for your son? Have your son "cut in" at the end of the father daughter dance when your husband dances with his mother. And then your daughters with their father. It will mark a really special moment for all fo you and be a great photo. Congrats!
2006-10-08 18:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your son to help give you away...then so be it. It is your wedding. I know that your fiance wants him to be the ringbearer, but just sit him down and tell him what you want. Remind him that this is one day in which you celebrate your marriage. That is all it is. A public display of the two of you getting married. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness in the world.
2006-10-08 20:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the idea of having your son be the ring bearer and including him in the vows. Have you considered that? I have seen where a ring is given to a daughter but not a son. Maybe you could include him in the vows and give him somthing else that is symbolic of the formation of the family. I agree with the first comment- giving the bride away is symbolic of leaving one family and forming another.
2006-10-08 17:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by countrygirl81886 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom had her 8 yr old son be the ringbearer for the wedding.
Personally, I think it might be a little weird to have your son "giving you away" with your father. IMO
2006-10-08 18:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by xboxgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true that the tradition of "giving away" means leaving one family to join another. But, my younger brother is giving me away since my father is deceased and since I never really felt owned by my family anyway. If you think your son giving you away would fit your personality best, then by all means, do it.
However, I think that it would be kind of neat to have your son be a groomsman. I know that's not really one of the options you presented, but it would allow the other boy to be ring bearer and it would show that he is one of the most important people in your husband-to-be's (and your) life. Ring bearers are generally nephews or cousins that we only see once in a great while, while groomsmen are those who are there through thick and thin.
2006-10-08 18:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him walk down right before you and have the rings. Honestly, if you get a four year old to walk down the aisle with all those people, you'll be doing good. I would have a special dance for you and him at the reception. Dance to "What a Wonderful World" with him right after you dance your first dance with your new husband. It would be cute if you could get him to tug on Daddy's pant leg and have him dance with you. I think this would be much more meaningful for you as a family and your guests. I know it would make me cry. He would feel special with it just being you and him dancing together. Good luck.
2006-10-08 18:45:57 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋