Why can they never be proud of me?

Question

Parents. As much as I try, as much as I get straight A's and be a good girl and daughter and everything, they are never proud of me. If they are, they sure don't show it. They just ask for more! What can I do to make them stop expecting so much and just be happy with who I am?

Answer 1

Parents smarents.... lol that's the same for me. I get straight A's too and always is doing stuff to make them happy. They always wants me to do more of this, or to improve on that. Psssh... it makes me kinda really p!$$ sometimes... but however, I understand why. Deeply, your parents are freaking proud of you, but because they push you harder they want you to be totally successful in life.

If you want them to show that they're proud of you, why dontcha just go straight up and ask them. But I would do it playfully-- not like "WHERE THE *BEEP* IS YOUR *BEEPIN* ADMIRATION FOR MY *BEEPIN* ACHEIVEMENTS!?!"... trust me... I kinda learned that the hard way...lolz... actually, you should do it playfully. Like, "Arentcha glad I'm your daughter?" It's totally be easier that way. A little sense of humor might loosen the stiffness parents get for trying to make their kids strive in life.

BUT I totally understand what you mean adn how you feel. I went through the same thing, because they're always expecting and it's tough to do things that way. At first I thought they were to blind to see so I kinda splat on their face the tough way and was grounded for like 2 weeks... still a little irritated, but they'd understand later on...lol... Just know that you should be proud you have parents that are trying to make you successful in life by pushing you to achieve in better things. Oh and no matter what people say, you should be the only true one that's proud of yourself. But I guess a little knock of compliments here adn there don't hurt, so start with your parents lightly. My parents got a kick out of my lame-o stupidity...lol but I still love them and I know they still love me! ♥

Answer 2

Really good question put in a very clear and sincere manner. Step back a moment and consider this. Parents are just people. Often they have issues with authority, with self-respect with acknowledgment by others and appropriate responses at critical moments. It maybe that they have programed a certain response type thing because they want to do the very best for you without spoiling you or turning you against anything or making you rebellious or something.
It is no easy thing to raise a kid. A sense of uncertainty about the world is impossible to avoid, and sometimes just the act of a kid going out to a football game can seem very threatening to a parent.
A parent can be very scared for a child and it can be a rational fear based on what has been happening in around town.
Give your parent the benefit of the doubt. Be prepared to ask your mother some friendly question about the subject.
Also, if you have access to counseling, take advantage of it and ask some of the same questions, but also ask if it is normal for a kid your age to crave recognition and affection from their parents. And ask why also.
This is about you and why you are asking the question. It is a good question, but there is always two sides to a question. I have very good thoughts about your abilities and personality, so don't trip on anything I have said. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Parents make mistake sweetie, and sometimes those mistakes include expecting tooo much from their kids and not realizing just how great they really are doing. I know, because I am a mom and sometimes its hard to always remember that they are trying their best, especially when you remember and see the times they don't. You start to focus on that more, because you just want the best for them. Unfortunately, it can become a problem. Just remember, they are human and they really do love you and probably are very proud of you. Like one of the other answers said, they probably aren't happy with themselves and their own goals or things that they were capable of doing but never did. Don't be too hard on them, and especially don't be too hard on yourself. Do it mostly for yourself and not them, and you won't feel so bad.

Answer 4

Wow, I'm sorry you are not getting the support you need. If you are doing your best and being the best you can be, then no matter what, YOU should be proud of yourself. I would imagine they really ARE proud of you -- but perhaps are not good at telling you so. Be the one to teach them the importance of honest communication: tell them you'd like more support and would appreciate hearing that they are proud of all your efforts. If they can't do it -- pity them -- and remember that you are valuable no matter what, and that when you have sweet children of your own you will always tell them that they have value and that you are proud of them -- no matter their grades or rank. Good job making the grades and for doing your best -- and I hope that you don't let other people's lack of consideration squash your ability to do well in life and enjoy you own success.

Answer 5

Welcome to my world. I worked my butt off when I was in school to get good grades but since it was expected of me I didn't get much attention for it. Yet, my brother could bring home a D- and because that was such an improvement for him they were all about giving him, as they call it, positive reinforcement. I never got in any trouble growing up, and I stayed married longer than I should have because I didn't want to let my parents down. My brother gets married whenever he feel the whim and has been in prison twice.
So what have learned is: First of all as long as you are happy with yourself that is all that matters. You are the one who is going to have to live with the you, you've become. It took me 30 years to realize that not matter how hard I tried my accomplishments were going to go pretty much unnoticed. So I decided to be the best me I could. I have remarried and am extremely happy and I have finially become content with the life I have made for myself.
Don't do like I did and spend years trying to make others happy. Do it for yourself. Because when push comes to shove you are all you've got. Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 6

First thing you need to do is be proud of yourself and keep it up. Trust me it will make your life easier. Your parents may not realize that they are being so pushy or demanding. As for not letting you know that they are proud of you they probably think you already know that they are proud of you.
In my case praise and I love you were just simply not said. When I had my kids that was the one thing I did my best to change.

Answer 7

Maybe they are, they just don't know how to show it? Maybe they are trying to show you,, but just not in the way you want them too?
Just be true to yourself, and love your parents, go to them and tell them how you feel, ask the Lord to help you understand why you feel that they are never proud of you and talk to your parents about the way you feel,
Just remember no matter what that Jesus loves you and will help to guide you in the right direction in your life if you'll just let him.

Answer 8

They are very proud of you. It is sad that they don't know enough to tell you that. I'm sure they brag to all of their friends and co-workers.

You need to have a talk with whichever parent you are most comfortable with. They them that you feel nothing is good enough for them and you can't handle it anymore. Explain that you need for your accomplishments to be acknowledged so that you feel worthy. It will be a tough conversation, but you need to have it. You need some positive feed back and it is their job to give it to you. Sometimes parents don't know everything. Good luck.












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Answer 9

As a parent of 2 girls, I hope that I would never put that much stress on my children, but I do want them to be the best they can be and will push them to be such. Have you tried talking to your parents about how you feel. We are not mind readers. I bet they are very proud of you they might just be too focused to remember to tell you. TALK TO THEM.

Answer 10

Some people have a hard time letting you know they are proud of you. Have you tried to discuss this with them? Let them you need and want to know that you have made them proud of you in a way you can understand.