long story short i was not wanted. i was sexually,verbally, physically, mentally and emotional abused by my parents.. but I have dealt with my childhood.
This is not about my child hood. but about what my mother recently did. ( she has never liked me and has made that perfectly clear)
I WAS VERY ILL AND IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS. IT CAME DOWN TO ME NEEDING MAJOR SURGERY.
THE FIRST TIME I WAS IN THE HOSPTIAL SHE DID NOT CARE, BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS PHENOIA. ( NOT SERRIOUS ENOUGH FOR MY MOTHER TO CARE)
AS I GOT SICKER AND SICKER AND ENDED UP IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS, SPECIALIST AND TEST AFTER TEST, THEN SHE STARTED TO CARE.
TOOK OFF WORK TO TAKE ME TO APPT. I NEEDED MAJOR SURGERY SO SHE TOOK OFF WORK.
SHE TOOK OFF A TOTAL OF THREE WEEKS DURING THE SURGERY PART.
EVERYONE AT HER JOB NEW WHAT WAS WRONG. THEY SENT ME ME CARDS AND CALLED.
NOW THAT I AM HEALED FROM THE SURGERY MY MOM WILL HAVE NO PART OF ME. SHE ONLY USED MY ILLNESS TO GET ATTENTION
2006-10-08 16:18:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
has anyone heard of this happening to an adult. i have heard about it when the child is young.. but i am 37 years old..... i new all along that once i was well she would go back to her old ways and she did. she flat out told me now that I was better no one cared.
2006-10-08 16:19:19 · update #1
I'll start with the more technical answer: there is a syndrome called Maunchousens by Proxy (I don't know if I've spelled that right, it's pronounced the way I spelled it...) It's an actual syndrome in which a caregiver uses a child's illness to garner attention or sympathy. There are even situations where the parent or caregiver CAUSED the child's illness (giving them unneeded meds or exposing the child to dangerous situations). It's called "by proxy" because there's a form of the syndrome in which the person makes THEMSELVES sick (I think that's more common). It's a fairly common insanity defense in child abuse cases.
I don't know if this would make things better or worse, but depending on how old you were at the time (were you a minor?), whether your mom cared or not could be irrelevant (in regards to the attention your illness garnered.) She would HAVE to take off work to care for you. Even with the other abuse going on, if you were very very sick, she would have had to show at least a minimum of care in order to keep herself out of legal trouble. I only bring that up because it seems that you are more angry over the viewed hypocrisy than you are that you think she cared for you only during the illness.
May I respectfully suggest that you aren't as "over" things as you claim to be? The anger in your post makes it seem like, even though you claim to be over everything, you still have a lot of hurt there. There's NOTHING wrong with having lingering anger over being hurt repeatedly and in many different ways as a child. Your parents should have cared for you, nurtured you, and loved you, allowing you to grow to be a happy, well-adjusted adult, and they didn't do their job. It may benefit you to contact a professional counselor to just talk to. Even people who had good childhoods can grow up with problems. It's okay to need help outside of yourself to come to terms with the emotional problems your parents caused.
2006-10-08 17:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad to say, but there are alot of people out there like your mother, she needs to be the center of attention and anything that will get her that, she will be there for. The next time you have something going on, turn to someone who really does care about you. If she calls or comes around, tell her you appreciate her concern,but you do have someone that genuinely cares to be there for you.
Seems to me like you got this far without her, you can go as far as you need to, although I must say, it was very big on your part letting her be there, even though you knew why she was there, that certainly makes you a way better person then she sounds to be.
2006-10-08 23:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes that is very cruel,
what kind of a mother could do that to her own flesh and blood?
I am a mother myself and my daughter is 4 1/2 and i cant even stand her falling over by accident i am very sorry that you had such a hard child hood but i really hope its all up hill now.
2006-10-08 23:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by Nasty,2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to get attention... but to get off of work. Your mother has problems and needs to understand how you feel, you can't make her treat you any better if you just let her act the way she does, take action and tell her.
2006-10-08 23:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,it's very wrong and awful.Your mother should've been there for you,cause she loved and cared about you,not because she wanted attention.
2006-10-08 23:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents actions was not wrong. I think she misinterpreted your situation. If she don't love you, then why should she get out of her job and lose more money just to stay with you. Think Girl!!
2006-10-08 23:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by clanel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not wanted either, and as long as a story as you have which I won't recant here, but I have previously...
so, I left that bunch and see if they can feed themselves....
no, not really, I didn't look back, if they can is ok with me if they can NOT is ok with me..
.
.
I like being around people that want and like me... so far, I'm slow to find that.
may you have better luck than me..
.
.
2006-10-08 23:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, thats not a very good mom, dont worry about her. but how are you? why did you have surgery?
2006-10-08 23:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by juicyfruitishandsome 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she was very wrong. ur ohana (or however u spell it) which means family and family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.
2006-10-08 23:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by Sketch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore her, what she did was completely wrong!
2006-10-08 23:21:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋