Should i tell mum?

Question

My mum and sister are in thailand until sunday and me and my dad found out last night that my cousin died yesterday.
Should we tell my mum while she is on her holiday? Or wait till she gets back, she will miss the funeral

Answer 1

Tell her or else she'll be upset that you didn't (sorry for your loss)

Answer 2

First, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your cousin.

I would consider a couple of things before deciding what to do.

Was your mother close to your cousin? Has your cousin been ill for a while or was his / her death sudden?

If you live in the UK (I suspect you do) Thailand is a long way away and they probably would not be able to change their flights to get home in time for the funeral. I would probably suggest that you wait until your Mum and sister get back from their holiday.

Whether you decide to call your Mum and tell her or not, maybe you could have a memorial service or something at your Church when your Mum and sister get back. It will be important to celebrate your cousins life so maybe planting a tree in memory of them might be something to consider. It is important to be able to talk to each other when you have suffered the loss of someone in your family.

Answer 3

If she is close to your cousin, then she will never get over the fact that she was lied to and missed the funeral. You have to be honest with her. There will be plenty of holidays that she could make up. But this will only happen one time. Tell her the truth. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Wait until she gets back. There is nothing she can do at this time about missing the funeral and having her cry and be upset over the last days of her vacation don't help anybody. She can use the time after the funeral to support her extended family.

Answer 5

First off, sorry to hear of your loss. Personally I would wait until they come back home before you tell them. There is nothing they can do to change anything and it will only spoil one of the best memories that they may ever have (visiting Thailand), Learning of a loss in the family is best manageable when at home and if this grief is with them in a strange place then they may become unfocused and allow themselves to become victims of predators who may take advantage of travelers who have their mind on something else.

Answer 6

Sorry for you loss, Its a hard one... but because she would miss the funeral you will have to tell her so that she doesn't feel alful when she gets bsck... I would say Dont tell her if she was coming back in time to be able to go to the funeral so you will need to tell her.

Answer 7

If your Mum was close to your cousin, I think she would want to know as soon as possible. I would. She may want to communicate with your cousin's parents, especially if one of them is her brother or sister. I have been kept in the dark out of "kindness" and I understood the reason, but I would rather have known.

Answer 8

I think she definitely needs to know. Yes, it might spoil her vacation, but she will always regret, especially if she was particularly close to this cousin, that she didn't get to go to the funeral and, in that way, have some closure.

Answer 9

I know that she will be bummed while on vacation, but I think the best thing to do is to tell your mom. She might want to go to the funeral, and might resent you for not telling her sooner.

Answer 10

It is a hard call, but I would wait till she returns from her trip. She might be upset with you, but their is nothing she can do from thailand. Let her enjoy the rest of her vacation and you can talk to her when she returns.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a family member.

Answer 11

Hmmmmmmm. How would you feel if you weren't at least told so that you can make the decision to be at the funeral or not? I don't think too good. I would advise that you tell her and your sis.