Would it be rude to just have a bride & groom dance and to not have specific parent or bridal party dances? Do you think our parents would be offended?
2006-10-08 15:07:18 · 16 answers · asked by abbya11111 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
For those of you that say we need to have it...do I include my stepdad??
2006-10-08 15:15:20 · update #1
Oh, also...we're having a destination wedding. But then we're having a "traditional" reception back home about a month later.
2006-10-08 15:16:11 · update #2
You know your parents best. I would not be offended, but I'm very laid back.
If you anticipate a problem, one idea would be to voice your concerns out loud about not wanting to have so many dances "all alone in front of all those people".
This way, no one is surprised by your choices.
My cousin did not even want to kiss in front of everyone(!) but we had our way- the priest (another cousin) made them kiss before he would pronounce them man and wife-ha ha!
It is your wedding, you can just tell the DJ or band leader what you want and remind them who's paying them (to discourage bribery by your folks later). Let the attendees think that the DJ forgot if you must.
Have a Beautiful Day
If you do decide to do it, definitely include your step-dad. He loves you and is an important part of your life and your mother's life too.
(I'm guessing this may be the whole reason for the question- it's about the awkwardness of step-parents and parents in the same room, but don't dis the step dad, that's a wound that could hurt for a long time)
2006-10-08 15:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by uhm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people skip the dances and don't even do a first dance and no one complains. Not everyone is the dancing type which is perfectly fine.
I don't think it's rude to have just the first dance. Every wedding I have attended that had a bridal party dance, there wasn't a single bridal party member who participated, and the bride and groom didn't force it. Most do though which causes resentment.
If I was a parent, i wouldn't be offended in the least about not having a spotlight dance and there are some who feel the same way. But alot of parents are adament about being included in that, so you need to discuss that with them becasue no one here knows what they are feeling.
2006-10-08 22:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's really nice to. It would be really awkward to not have them. If there's a concern because a parent has passed away, or if divorce is making things awkward, there are alternatives. Have the bride and groom dance first, then the bridal party join in. Then, instead of having just the parent/bride/groom dance, have the next one be for "family members of the bride and groom" - then you can dance with whomever you choose, since it wouldn't be specified as a father/daughter dance, for example. My father had passed away two years before my wedding, and I danced with my older brother.
2006-10-09 06:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If youre worried about offending parents or wedding party members talk to them (have a dinner party and invite them all or something).
Explain that you would rather just do the "first dance" and not all the others. Get some feedback from them and decide for yourself if you can skip those dances without offense. Most likely the parents will be a little disappointed, but not offended. One thing you might want to keep in mind though is that the DJ often uses the wedding party's dance to "snowball" other people onto the floor so that the party picks up.... NOTHING is ever set in stone though.... you and your new spouse could start the snowballing effect on the second dance... each of you grab (or motion with a "come hither" wave) someone and bring them onto the floor then continue in this manner until you have a dance floor full of people.
So in answer to your question... Yes you can skip the other dances if you wish, but if you want the party to pick up either tell the DJ your plans so that they can figure out another plan with/for you or else get imaginative yourself and see what ideas you can come up with... you might surprise yourself! :)
As for how to include step-dad, you have two very good options... You could ask one father to do the father/daughter dance at the destination wedding (If they are attending) and the other do the father/daughter dance at the "home" reception. The other option is to do a "medley" dance (2 songs played without a pause between) and have one dance the first song with you and then have the other "cut-in" as the new song starts so they both get their "turn"... you could do this by being "twirled" from one father to the other or simply by having one come up and ask to "cut-in", it really depends on how your fathers feel about each other, are they civil or do they really "lock horns"? If they are civil the "cut-in" should be fine... if not perhaps you should stick with the twirl to keep them on opposite ends of the dance floor.
Your best bet is going to be to sit them down (yes in the same room at the same time) and say "I really want to have you both do the father daughter dance as you have both been important to me throughout my life. Here are my suggestions, what do you think?"
Good Luck
2006-10-08 22:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you do not have to have specific dances for the bridal party and/or the parents... i was in a bridal party this past summer and the bride and groom danced their first dance together... and kept the ceremony going. They had two speeches, one by the maid of honor and one by the best man... and left the rest of the reception for the guests and them to have a good time.
2006-10-08 22:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by smiley_140 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. It's bad etiquette. The purpose of the dance is to give your parents the opportunity to have a special moment on your wedding day...
2006-10-08 22:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by msladykm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's your wedding. If you are having a traditional wedding, then I would suggest it. Talk to your parents and ask them for their opinion. But remember: It's YOUR big day. Not anyone else's.
2006-10-08 22:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
no. It is your day and you need to do it the way you want. Talk to your parents and bridal party and explain to them ahead of time and they will understand.
2006-10-08 22:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by tenacteach 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you don't have to have them. We are not doing mother/father dances since my father is deceased and we don't want to "bring that up." It's your reception; do it your way.
2006-10-08 23:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If your parents are really crappy dancers, then it is appropriate to ask them not to dance and ruin your ceremony. However, if they are really good dancers, like Ginger Rogers or Michael Jackson, then it would be offensive to ask them to refrain.
2006-10-08 22:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by ErnestoV 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋