Happily married men only.?

Question

I think I'll ask again. How is a women supposed to deal with the feeling that a man who wants to engage in a relationship with her "wants" other women from time to time. Please help me with a realistic view on this. And... No... I am not ugly, I have great hygiene, exercise, have a rock hard body, a nice face, good personality and am sexual and sensual. Also, with all respect, I do not want to hear "don't take it personally". guys just lust for other women. The question is: How is she supposed to feel about it.?

Answer 1

I am happily married and for 14 years now. I have no desires to be with another woman. My wife is truly my best friend and even after 14 years, we still can set up some nights until 2 or 3 in the morning talking and laughing together. We argue from time to time, but we never go to bed mad. Now, my wife is attractive too, but I do notice other attractive women but that is as far as I would care to take it because I would not want to do anything to destroy the great life I have. My personal opinion is that guys who stray deep down never settled down, if you know what I mean. There may not be the bond there to keep him from wanting to stray. The deep emotional bond is the key!

Answer 2

I don't know why some (maybe a lot of) guys feel that way. You mentioned the words "happily married." I don't believe a person (man OR woman) who is "happily married" will even want to consider someone else. I guess it depends on how you define "happily married." For me, it means two people who want to come home to each other, who not only are in love, but who like each other's company, and who would not want to hurt the other for any reason. If a person is happy, why would they want or need to look somewhere else, anyway? I know that the one thing I could not stand would be for my lady (if I had one) to be "with" someone else. That would end it for me. Nor would I want someone else.

I guess it's a decision you have to make, but if it were reversed and you told me you wanted to "see other men from time to time," you'd have all the time in the world because I wouldn't be there any more. I think he needs to decide if he wants to be single and free to date, or just with one person. It just doesn't work when he wants to do both.

Just my humble opinion, by the way. I left out a lot of thoughts I have on the subject, but that's for a different forum.

Best to you :)

Answer 3

This is lack of security or self confidence.

You don't need to make sure that he doesn't 'want' other women, we all (men and women) can feel attracted by somebody else and that doesn't mean that we WANT to have an affair or a relation with each person we feel attraction from.

You have to find a person that REALLY wants you, there is no guarantee that he will have eyes for you, but that depends on you, not only by the way you look, is more important THE LITTLE THINGS that YOU GIVE to this relationship.

You are worth enough to stop worrying about what he may do or 'feel' or 'want'.

Answer 4

I'm sure happily married women lust for other men from time to time. We are only human anyway. To look at members of the opposit sex is almost a reflex. Those who can't control their impulses are those who cheat.

To be happily married you have to be married to your best friend. Your best friend will always be honest with you.

Answer 5

People like variety in their lives. Do you only drink water? Never a Pepsi, or Iced Tea, or Beer? When you drink one of the others, does it mean you like water any less?

Do you only eat steak? Not fish, chicken, eggs, or vegetables? Each has their own appeal.

In a life filled with choices, we limit ourselves on whom we find pleasure with.

Our sex drive is also referred to as our sexual appetite. (Hmm, food analogy seems kind of fitting.)

What it all boils down to is; What are you willing to put up with? If multiple partners is out of the question, then tell him and move on. Count your blessings that he was decent enough to bring this information up before it became a problem.

Answer 6

First- I WOULD take it personal. There are enough DECENT MEN out there who are perfectly happy having a "relationship" with ONE woman.
You seem to have an open mind- but on this subject- I would SLAM it shut. End of Story. I am sorry, but if you go aong with this, I think you may well end up being miserable. Who wants to wonder who their man is with?

Answer 7

Sounds like he's trying to keep you insecure about the relationship. the best relationships I've been in have been when i made sure that she would have to "work" to maintain my affection. It's not my nature, but I've done everything right and been dumped for being "too nice."

Answer 8

You should feel like a fool if you allow this to go on.You need to get out of this kind of relationship and look for another to be with.

Answer 9

OK I BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YRS NOW AND AS FAR AS WANTING OTHER WOMAN I DO WANT OTHER WOMAN BUT ME AND MY WIFE HAS WHAT WE CALL A FANTASY SEX PARTNER AND WHAT THAT IS WE BOTH HAVE A LIST OF STARS THAT WE WOULD SLEEP WITH IN A HEART BEAT BUT AS FAR AS IN REAL LIFE WE DONT SLEEP AROUND OR ANY THING LIKE THAT IT JUST A FANTASY

BUT AS FAR AS HE GOES IF I WAS YOU I WOULD MEET SOMEONE THAT IS A GOOD LOOKING MAN AND INTERDUCE THEM AND TELL YOUR MAN THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM AND SEE HOW HE DO WITH YOU AND A NOTHERE MAN IF HE DONT CARE THEN HE REALLY DONT CARE FOR YOU THATS WHAT MY WIFE DID TO ME AND I ANT CHEATED SINCE SO TRY THAT

Answer 10

you're supposed to just be ok with it. I mean, the man should show some class and be discreet about his peeks and thoughts if it bothers you. but if you catch him eyeballing another woman or perhaps even masturbating to porn, the first thing on our minds is "I wish she could understand" and thats all we want. just know that its the animal we are love us the same. We may imagine all these other women sexually, but when comes to love and caring and friendship, its you our hearts are stuck to. Why else would we be with YOU, watching THEM. Thats all we want.