Why is it that I have a wonderful person I have been dating who always takes such good care of me, yet I often get so insecure about his feelings towards me that than I pick at him for reassurances. Is it just part of being a girl and dating and there is no solution? Guys out there...do we drive you nuts?
2006-10-08 14:26:32 · 13 answers · asked by Sleepless in Seattle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's much easier to learn how to manage your insecurity than "get rid of it". The thing is that once you start getting rid of something that is a part of you - that's the short cut to disliking yourself. Instead, learn to manage it and even like your fears and insecurities. Define that small talk, that little voice in your head that surely leads you down familiar path - how you are always a loser, nobody will ever love you, you always destroy every relationship that you get. The trick is that once you hear the voice that uses this absolutisms "always", "Never" and so on - you know, this voice is a LIE. Don't shush it though. Let it speak out and develop it's point and encourage it - to the point where it's reasons or proposed situations will become clearly exxagerated and ridiculous - and that's where you will know that this voice is wrong and ridiculous and not to be taken seriously. Once the voice is done with it's point of view, debate: speak of yourself to yourself as your best friend would do and learn to do it every time your negative voice turns in. The key here is to build up a positive way of thinking instead of distractive.
2006-10-08 14:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Len74 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid of rejection. The fear is your #1 enemy that keeps you from living a full life. Don't be a statistic like 90% of the women out there. Be different. If you want something you have never had you need to do something you've never done. Wake up in the morning and be agressive. Do what is needed to get rejected at least twice a day, It will be tough at first, but it will thicken you skin and with time you will be an unstoppable woman. You know... screw most other people who tell you how things are supposed to be, and how ladies should do this and guys should do that! Who are they?! They are average people that's who they are. Your not average. This wonderful guy that takes care of you, thats great, but he is taking care of you for a reason, because your a good person. You must also take care of him huh? Low self esteem is a turnoff, take baby steps to building your confidence. You are more valuable than you think!
2006-10-08 14:43:59 · answer #2 · answered by Jackal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the reasons why I hate being a girl sometimes. We get negative and insecure during a certain part of a month--it probably has something to do with our hormonal changes and such. So just be aware that that is what's causing you to feel insecure about yourself and try hard not to show it. The ideal thing to do is to maintain positiveness at all times and your man will unlikely have any problems with you and will continue to love and care for you.
2006-10-08 15:02:50 · answer #3 · answered by Shirley L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know guys have their own insecurity issues too but they just cover it up sometimes better than we do.It all comes from within, the way you feel about the way u look and the way u dress and the person you are.If u have issues about things with urself than that's gonna come out as how ur boyfriend is feeling about you cause u think he might cheat on u if u have these flaws and that maybe he'll find someone else better.The truth is he's with u for a reason and if he didn't accept u already for who u r then he would have alrady left and you need to back off a bit cause u don't want scare him away.
2006-10-08 14:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by serenity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn to live in the moment in order to avoid insecurity. You say you have been dating for awhile so he obviously likes/loves you. You need to relax and enjoy the moments that you spend with him no matter what because no one is guaranteed this time. There are so many things that could end your relationship like death, change in jobs, illness, cheating, and so many other things. If you want to live your life then you have to get over your insecurities because when you are insecure you are not enjoying the current moments and those are the moments that make up your life, you are missing out on those moments and I feel sorry for you. You need to let go and give your love to your boyfriend and receive his love, stop worrying about weather he will love you forever or not. If your relationship ends you will heal and move on and hopefully find another love but it will keep getting harder and harder for you if you keep dwelling on your insecurities and miss out on all the great things in your life.
2006-10-08 14:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Sheila D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage does not even cure this 100%. Just make sure the good times outnumber the insecure times and enjoy them enough to make the insecure times bearable!!
And try not to let your insecurity show, I know that is a toughie, but it is a huge turnoff to a guy. Fake self confidence if you must. Sometimes it will turn from fake to real!
Good Luck!
2006-10-08 14:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by miss_fred 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you had bad experiences before dating this guy? That could be a big reason why you feel insecure. If you have had bad luck in the past, it might be hard to 100% trust any relationship. Good luck.
2006-10-08 14:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe we women do drive men nuts...LOL. Usually the only reason they put up with it is if their being at least pleasured while dating you..honestly..i heard that from a mature guy.
anyways,hmm i guess its all part of growing up i guess...and the solution is just to try to ignore it each time,you know he likes you..you dont have to keep asking ;)
2006-10-08 14:29:09 · answer #8 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im gonna make this truly uncomplicated. DROP THE PSYCHO. Shes enjoying psychological thoughts f***. Its a psychos fav recreation. THey attempt the psychological parameters of human beings to be sure their psychological skill. the two you're too liable to play with them or you're too stupid to appreciate the regulations of charm. you decide on a competent ole female. attempt a dairy farm.
2016-10-15 23:49:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have an inferiority complex.
After I kiss a woman, I know exactly where I stand. And that usually means, I am in.
2006-10-08 14:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋