How can I accept my flaws as part of who I am?

Question

As people who have been frequently reading my posts would know, I am 24 yr old man who have endured severe depression and lust problem for the past 8 years. It is my flaws, weaknesses which I have tried extremely hard to get rid of.
I hate them so much that I even hate thinking about it. It gives me so much pains thinking about all the pains they are giving/have given me in my life. So far in my life, all my efforts have been futile or unsuccessful to overcome them. It feels weird sometimes because I have been able to stay free from drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, but not these 2 problems.
Some people suggested to me that maybe I should accept them as part of who I am instead of torturing myself over not being able to overcome them.
How can I accept things that have given me indescribable pains in my life as part of who I am?

Answer 1

It is good to have a strong comprehension of what drives you. One should channel the positive impulses into your everyday life. You seem to have a very strong moral character, which is a good thing. Each of us has a difficult ongoing struggle inside us. If lust and depression are significant antagonists in your life, you need to determine where those forces are coming from.

It's perfectly OK to have lust. Lust drives us not only in relationships, but in life as well. Don't view it negatively as "lust" but as "inspiration." I assume your lust is in reference to the opposite gender. That can be good. Since you're 24, go on dates. If you only feel a sexual desire, then the relationship will probably not work out. But if you truly feel a connection, I think you'll find your lust will dissipate and your new found companion will help complete you.

As for depression, everyone goes through it. You truly are not alone. Take comfort in your friends and family. Don't be afraid to open up. Sometimes depression is simply a repression of strong feelings. You may find a heart to heart talk with someone can make a world of difference.

I hope I was able to bring some closure to your troubles. Just remember, you aren't alone and there will always be someone to help if you're brave enough to ask for it.

Answer 2

Most people have problems w/ lust, and many also have problems w/ depression. Most of them could care less, so I am impressed that you are so concerned. Have you ever asked Jesus to come into your heart and take control of your life and thoughts? Do you believe in Him? If so, he erases even the most hurtful things. I used to cry over mistakes in my past, and it really had a negative effect on my total self(I looked horrible, felt horrible, my health was not good). 5 years ago I recommited my life to God, and He took all that bad away. Rarely, the enemy brings up a thought from the past, but I have the tools to ward those thoughts off now. I just start praying. It is hard to accept the bad things we all do, but all of us DO bad things. It's just part of life, and we must remember that we are not perfect, nor can we ever be in this life. We just have to rely on the Lord, and that's hard sometimes too because we want to be in control. Hope I helped some.

Answer 3

This is a very hard question because accepting yourself is a very personal thing and different for many people. Try focusing on your positives and you will see that overall you are a great person who just happens to have a few flaws like the rest of us. Another thing which might help you to discover, understand, and accept yourself is participating in activies like sports or clubs, or expressing yourself through art, writing, and music. good luck!

Answer 4

Depression and lust are tools of the enemy, these things are what he does best. I once was a drug addict, well for 15 years. I was unable to stop doing them and was totally addicted to behaviors and drugs, until I cried out to the Lord from my heart. I was so sick and tired of it, that I just wanted out and to have some relief. He heard my cry and saved me.
Do you know any Christian people in your world? My suggestion would be to cry out to God, He is the only One who can help with this kind of thing, and He loves you. If He did it for me He will do it for you!

Answer 5

Don't know if you remember this song, but it goes like this...

"He's still workin on me. To make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars. The sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient he must be. He's still working on me. There really ought to be a sign on my heart. Don't judge me if there's an unfinished part. But I'll be perfect just according to his plans. Fashioned by my master's loving hands". What you see as flaws were created by God to help you along your way. He knows our strengths and weaknesses and gives us the tools to work out the obsticles he places before us. Trust in his judgement and do your best with what he gave you. Peace my friend. Dave

Answer 6

I think it goes to forgiveness. We ultimately forgive others not for their sake but for our own. None of us is perfect; we all have our crosses to bear. Forgive yourself for being imperfect, do the things that take you on the path you want to follow, and consider sitting in on an AA or NA meeting. You might learn some skills for managing your feelings and finding a way to forgive yourself for what you see as harmful or sinful.

Answer 7

Seeing it this way expands the problem till it becomes too big to control. The question is why do you see these things as problems?

This is just life. All of us have similar things in our lives that we have to deal with.

Just try to remember that God never makes mistakes.

Love and blessings Don

Answer 8

I don't think you are alone. Is there someone older or a counselor you could speak with over a course of time? If your depression is severe, you need to see a professional. Medication might be necessary. I think it is good you are seeking help. Email me if you want to talk further.

Answer 9

You shouldn't. All I can say is that your only hope is Christ. Let Him make you clean. Basically, it's like this: the only way to get all the air out of a bottle is to fill it with something like water. The only way to get all this junk out of your life is to get filled up with Christ. Accept Him, and trust Him to work in your life. You can do nothing on your own.

Answer 10

Pray for help. I know you probably have gotten this answer many times before, but it helps. Just don't promise God anything. Say you will try your best, but dont say you wont do it anymore. That sets you up for feeling bad about you breaking a promise to God if you break. Try, that is all he asks.

God Bless

Matt