he seems so have to have his own way all the time..in school as well as home..nothings working..hes drivinh me crazy!!
2006-10-08 13:45:03 · 18 answers · asked by tazzle 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You gotta follow through with those threats and kids crave boundaries and discipline.
If you let them walk on you, they will do it. I would say just stick to your word and let him know you mean business.
If you just give in to avoid conflict and fighting, it will never end.
Be tough! Give them boundaries, its reality. As adults we don't always get our way, so we have to teach our own the realities of give and take.
2006-10-08 13:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by Thetruthbetold 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been right there with a 12 year old girl....she always wants "to do something" or "go somewhere"...like I am her personal Cruise director never mind that she has older and younger sisters. The family has to revolve around her and there are times when she just wears me down....It's been getting a bit better as I pick my battles...but my poor neighbors have to hear the screaming sometimes (I don't hit my kids but there are times when I'd like to put them through a wall!). I guess I am lucky because everyone thinks she is just an angel and she gets all A's in school. So at least I know when shes out she's great. I wish she was as nice at home. Hang in there, stick to your guns, try everything except putting him through a wall. We'll get through the teen years eventually....
2006-10-08 14:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. If he is getting his way all the time, then you need to set boundaries. Teens act independent, but they aren't adults and they actually crave boundaries and guidelines. Until you start setting them, he'll keep pushing and pushing to find out how far he can go (he might keep doing that even after you've started) You can't change everything all at once, so it might be good to talk with him, let him know how you feel and explain that "in this family, we all _____" whatever it might be. It only takes helping him discipline himself in one area to start things moving in the right direction. It might be that you want him to put his bags away when he comes in from school. So you talk about it, set the boundary, explain why it's important (make sure to choose something that is important for whatever reason) and lay out the consequences. "We all need to put our stuff away when we come in. Leaving things by the front door is a hazard and someone might trip over your stuff and get hurt. Please take your bag to your room each day. If you don't, I'll have to move it and you'll have to "buy" your bag back from me with a small work job" or something like that. Talk to his teachers and let them know what you're doing, too. It's always more effective working with others and they have him for 6 hours a day.
It's also really important to reward good behaviour..even if it's only a little thing he's doing right!
Good luck! Praying for you
2006-10-08 14:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by Shoshanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand how your son can be getting his own way all the time at home unless you are giving him his way. If that is the case then it is up to you to restore the balance of power by setting boundaries, giving him responisibilities, and by spending one-on-one time with him doing something that just the two of you can do together to form a close bond.
Dr Phil has written a good book about parenting and I am sure there are tons more in the self-help section of the library or bookshop.
Good luck, there is light at the end of the tunnel..he will grow up, but he needs you to show him how to do it properly.
2006-10-08 13:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by anything_my_child 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
13 yr old boys r at that awkward stage in life where they start feeling their oats. He's neither a child or a boy or a young man yet. He's having trouble adjusting to what is happening with his mind, body, and soul. Any interference from mommy especially is intolerable. Is dad around to talk to him about the changes going on in his life? Is he involved with peer groups of young men or boys his age such as Boy's Scouts or Boys' and Girls' Clubs of America, or Big Brothers Organization? They help tremendously. Is he on any sports team with boys his age? Does he have any friends his age who he spends time with? Mothers at this particular age for boys r usually not the friend the child is looking for, "You just don't understand". Heard that one yet? Sorry he's right u don't, boys and girls go thru very different and difficult times at age thirteen and moms can't cut it, he needs male peers and/or a father who understands what is was to be thirteen once. I'm a dad who's thirteen year old wasn't comfortable talking to me but I got him involved in all the above and guess what he's a great kid today and a better father than I ever was. And better yet we talk about everything today and I do mean everything no holds bar. He'll come around promise.
2006-10-08 14:02:46 · answer #5 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word you are looking for is not co-operate, the word is respect and behave. If he has to have his own way all the time it is because you don't know the meaning of the word no. Say no and stick to it. No means no. It does not mean if you have a fit I will give in. It does not mean if you cry and yell and throw things I will give in. It means no. PERIOD!!!!!
2006-10-08 14:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by valarie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this age, its very difficult cause they are in such denial and going through peer pressure. The best solution I think is to talk, always make time to talk to your kids, and do somethings with them, even if its having the kid in you come out and go to the park and play ball, or skateboarding or play football, spend time with them and laugh and enjoy each other and enjoy life. Trust me, they will talk to you more when you give them some of your time as well.. Good Luck!! :)
2006-10-08 13:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by Hi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With my teenagers I would turn the tables on them... if I wasn't getting my way... I wouldn't talk to them unless I had to... when they came into the room and sat down... I would get up and go to another part of the house... you know when they don't get what they want... they'll fuss and stomp off... mock some of their actions... let them know your not happy with them and if you don't get your way nobody is getting what they want and stick to it... I sat mine down at 13 and told them if they wanted a car at 16... how they acted and the grades they got from that point on was what determined what kind of car they got... if they got one at all... My daughter ended up with a 4 door huge family car that was a yuky green... tell them you are on the verge of giving up... for them to hide watch that things are changing... get tough... tell him if you want a good mom you have to be a good kid... it's funny how they can expect so much from us and give so little in return... Good Luck!!!
2006-10-08 14:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, people weren't like that in the Middle Ages. Because they were aprrentices and had jobs. Give him a part time job, on something he likes. HOWEVER, he will have to accomplish that time each day, which will teach him discipline and taking care of time. Don't try to save his *** from the boss.
2006-10-08 13:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
put ur foot down and disapline ur son set boundaries and stick to them if he breaks them punish him take things off him stop him from doing things.set him chores to do kids thrive on responsibility so give him some for each thing he does right or completes reward him if he fails to do so punish him it works with me kids and they are nearly 7 ,5and 2 they all have chores and stick to it ... my question to u is ur son is 13 why has it taken u so long to do something about it ? if u install routine early and enforce it respect will be give and recieved
2006-10-08 14:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by kell2117605 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋