How do you convince your husband to let you get a drivers license? My husband won't let me :(?

Question

I'm 19 and my husband is 30. He won't let me get a drivers license because he said I don't need one and doesn't want to buy an extra car. He also believes the man should do the driving which I agree with but, when he isn't around I would like to maybe get a few things from the grocery store or go to my sisters house. If you are a lady, did you have to convince your husband to let you get one? What did you do?

Answer 1

not the way a husband should treat his wife. Maybe you should get your license without him knowing, he may be hiding something from you.

Answer 2

It sounds like your husband is very controling. Why would a 30 year old man marry a girl in her teens anyway if he didn't want someone to push around? Honey, you are a legal adult, even though you are a very young one. Get a drivers license if you want and don't ask anyone for permission to do it. In fact, you shouldn't ask permission to do the most basic things any other adult would do. I had a license, a career that I was 5 years into and owned my own home when I met the man I eventually married. I kept my own bank account after we were married and come and go as I please. Some men can be very controlling and need to be in charge to feel like a man. It sounds like you have one of them. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He won't LET you get a Drivers License????????????
Honey, you need to take another look at your Birth Certificate and see again whose name is typed in where it says "Father's Name". I doubt very seriously that it is going to be his (and if it is...that's illegal in all states but Arkansas (only kidding).
But, having a driver's license in these days is no longer a privelige...it is nearly a neccessity. What if he died or had a heart attack and you didn't know how to drive to the hospital...or what if you were both in the car on a quiet road and it happened....how would you get him to the hospital?
Is he that insecure that he cannot trust you to go to the store or to visit your family? That is really pathetic if you ask me.
Has he any reason to believe that if you get into a car that you will leave and not return? That is another issue there. Besides that, if you really wanted to leave, doesn't he realize that you can drive away and leave him without a drivers license. Yeah, if you get caught by a cop, you're in trouble...but if you leave to get away from a controlling husband, it might be worth it.
Tell him to get with the program and go ahead and go get your license....you don't need his permission anyhow. Get a sister or someone to let you borrow their car to take your driving test, and to take you to town to take the test...after it is all over..what is he going to do...take away your birthday? Dock your wages? You're not a child, and unless you grow a spine and stand up to him now, if and when you ever have children, your life and theirs too will be a living hell!!!

Answer 4

I'm not a lady but this sounds crazy, what if he was injured real bad and needed some one to take him to the Dr.'s or for treatments on a daily basis? It sounds like he doesn't trust you and wants you confined to the home unless he takes you. My grandmother didn't drive, but she still had a drivers license, my grandfather done all the driving but he still let her have a drivers license, alot of places around here won't let you buy tobacco products or alcohol with out a drivers license, some don't take regular ID's only a drivers license. well good luck, I hope every thing goes well for you.

Answer 5

He's a CONTROL FREAK!!!!
You need to get your drivers license, don't let him stop you. You need to be an independent woman. What else does he try to control? School, work, friends, money? Maybe that is why he marry you because he knew that a woman his age wouldn't put up with that sh!t! C'mon.... don't let this man control you like that. You are your own person and he needs to respect that. This is the 21st century. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Just because you are married to him does not mean that he has control over your being. If you want to get a driver's license you should be able to without getting permission from your husband. This sounds like a very controlling human being which will ultimately lead to a dis functional relationship if you let him continue like this. Tell him that it is important for you to get your license and that you would appreciate his support.

Answer 7

How do you convince your husband to let you get a drivers license? My husband won't let me :(?

Answer 8

Ummm...I married a man who isn't screwed up about control issues, so it was pretty easy.
Seriously, if you're married and happy that's your business, but I would try asking him to handle these little errands while he's out since you can't do them. It'll eventually get to be an inconvenience for him, and he'll realize that it's a benifit to HIM for you to have it.
Incidentally, did you know that women cause fewer accidents than men every year? If the man "should" do the driving, maybe they should get better at it.

Answer 9

Emotionally Abusive Husband?

Answer 10

Honey, I think your problems run much, much deeper than just a driver's license.

Since when does a man tell you what you CAN and CANNOT do?

This is a form of abuse and you are too young and inexperienced to be married to a man this much older, no matter how smart you think you are. I see more trouble on the way in this "marriage" than just driving.

Answer 11

I have read all of your questions and I now have a few questions myself. What nationality is he? What kind of role models were your parents? I am not trying to be rude at all but, I wonder why you do not find this as strange behavior. I also wonder if others have alerted you that they find both his AND your behavior odd. Yes, he sounds like a bad husband but, for some reason, you feel that it is to your benefit to either put up with this or you see nothing wrong with this picture. Do people distance themselves from you? Does your family like him? Do you have friends? Does he "let" you work?

Now, to answer your question. EVERYONE needs a driver's lisence. What if your child needed to go to the hospital and he was at work? You need to know how to drive, just for the sake of your child. Just because you know how to drive you won't need a car. Lots of families, in many countries, have 1 car between 2 adults. You NEED to learn how to drive!!! Have an adult teach you. There will come a time when he is unavailable to drive, for whatever reason, and, you have to be able to have the knowledge to drive someone somewhere. Maybe, you have to take hubby or the kid to the hospital, maybe, you need some milk and hubby doesn't want to get off the couch (convience) or maybe, the kid has a Dr. appointment and he won't be able to make it. Perhaps, he needs to be picked up from work. Whatever. The point that I am trying to make is: it is a matter of safety and convience AND (although, you don't need to share this tidbit, freedom for you).

As far as, the other part...my husband WANTED me to drive because he was sick of hauling me around and having to take care of me all the time-my medication was screwed up. Anyway, as soon as the Dr. said I could drive, hubby "let"me get the milk and drive the guys to the pediatrition.I didn't even have to mention it, he was looking forward to it and brought it up first.

What I would suggest to you is to "mention" it, CASUALLY!!! Not in a question and not with a whiney voice. " _______ drove to the store and got some_____. Her husband was really happy when she came back, 15 minutes later, because he likes his coffee with milk better. I wish that I could get you milk, too." This shows that other females that are "good wives" can drive WHILE be convienent to their husband AND serving him. It also shows that the tripo is timed and that you don't have an issue with that, perhaps, even expect it.

If you 2 both know that it will take about 20-25 minutes for you to go to the store, find the item, wait in line and drive back it will be another safety feature that YOU feel is necessary for your safety.

I am not sure if my hubby is controlling or not but, most of the males in his family are so, I just assumed. I say the thing that it will "take me 20 minutes, to go to the ____". I always let him know where I am every minute. I even tell him that I am going to the restroom. He tells me that he doesn't need to know but, I tell him "it's the way I grew up".

Your kid will soon grow out of the stage where you can get by with taking her out in a stroller. Cars are quicker and, therefore better in the case of emergency. Safety is the number 1 priority!!!

I hope that I have helped, I tried.