Emotionally abusive parents?

Question

my father may be emotionally abusive. signs clearly say he is but I dunno. my mother lives states away, i live with my dad, stepmom, stepsister, stepbrother and my sister is in college. i'm the youngest and the last he has left to control. he's very controlling and i don't know what to do. i don't want to give examples. i know many kids go through it and i'm not sure whether i should be concerned or not care. there's another predicament i'm in but i don't wanna put that up here again. my mom might be moving back soon. if i move in with her my life would be turned upside down and i moved out of her house when i was 10. please give me advise as to what you think i should do. i have 3 years until i'm outta here.

Answer 1

Sounds like daddy got insecure about his little girl.

Suddenly she's doing things little girls don't do. He doesn't know who you are or how to relate to you. You have to teach him about the person you are becoming. Learn to make responsible decisions. Be where you say you are going to be,be home when you say you are going to be home, have the schoolwork done and the room tidied up (without reminders and pointers.)

When you speak with your relatives, speak to them with respect.Respond to what they have to say. Do not react. Take a breath, think about what you want to say and speak as if you are talking with a friend. Just don't react. This teaches parents respect. Respectfully.

You don't have to move in with Mom. You can decide how you want to have a relationship with her. Visiting every other weekend would give you a break from the folks and allow you to establish a relationship with her. Don't be surprised if she relates to you on a ten year old level if that was the last time you saw her. You will have to lovingly teach her about who you are just as you teach at home.

Mom moving into town may be making Dad a little insecure too......

Consider his point of view. He's losing you.

Reassure him that you love him and your family and that you want to be with them. Make a decsion now as to where your home is. It will make life a lot easier as the option of moving is going to look good sometimes. Learn to face your life and the family that has raised you. Leave them as an adult on good terms. You have the gift of 3 years to establish a foundation thanks to them. What kind of memories do you want to leave them with when you do walk out that door for the last time?

Darlin', this doesn't have to be a time of conflict. You have to teach your family about the person you are to become. Find your path. Teachers are kind, gentle, and firm in thier resove. Be the Teacher.

Answer 2

Yep, it sounds like he's emotionally abusive. If you can take a couple steps back from the situation, and see that he's suffering, probably from the same kind of abusive parenting, it will help you to realize that he doesn't know how to give and receive love, without trying to control the other person. It's going to be a tough three years, but start planning NOW for your future. You want a pretty good job to support yourself with, so be thinking about what kinds of work that you think you can do. In other words, when the going gets really tough, remind yourself that you're going to do such and such a thing to make sure that once you're out, you're never going to need to come back. Your mother sounds worse than your dad, so I'd stay where you are, and bite the bullet and find ways to keep yourself moving forward, towards your goal of independence. Just because other kids go through it doesn't mean that it isn't a very difficult situation. I wish you all the best in the world.

Answer 3

Hi Carmen, If your dad is only trying to control you,and isn't putting you down everytime you turn around. I would try and have a talk with him,and see if he would let you go out once in awhile with your friends.Try to do your best on keeping your room clean and help with the house work without being told to.Help keep the kichen clean and do the dishes for your stepmom. But if he is always on your back 24-7 know matter what you do.Sweety,you can either put up with it until your 18yrs. old or go to your high school counselor and tell her or him your problems at home.Sweety,this will help you out alot to talk to an adult that you can trust.See your counselor at least once or twice a week,so you can release your depression. Wish you all the luck in the world,i really be this... A Friend..

Clowmy

Answer 4

assuming you mean your 15, that is a hard age anyway, not a child but by society not an adult..since you are a minor, really none of us can tell you what to do, you have to live with an adult by law, dad or mom, or grandparents etc..being you have a step mom and step siblings, and your the youngest, it would be difficult for you to "change" your father..he has probably been that way for years...there are types of control though, such as cerfews, wanting you to get good grades in school, things that you may not see as fair, but really are in your best interest....then there are control issues that are just due to his personality, or perhaps that is how he handles all situations...If you were to move in with your mom, is that offer available and agreeable with your father...would you want to go live with her...you said your life would be turned upside down,.... financially?...Do you have a good relationship with her?....there are so many factors to consider and we don't live in your home, so we really can't tell you what to do....you may just have to stick it out till your 18, stay in school, get the grades you need to get to college, and take it from there...Adulthood lasts a lot longer than your teenage years believe me...even though right now that doesn't seem to sound true.....

Answer 5

I'm kinda in the same situation. All of my friends knew about it, because they would hear them yelling at me when i talked on the phone and they would see marks and bruises on me at school. Make sure you have somewhere to go, like a friends house. When you report this, they'll have you stay away from home. tell your school councilor or someone who can handle these things. Its a little hard to report parents for verbal or emotional abuse. You would have to record a conversation where they are verbally abusing you and show the councilor how there words are affecting you. ex: if your depressed or suicidal. What happens depends on how old you are, and if you have any younger siblings. I was trying to get emancipated, nut because I have younger siblings, they would have been put up for adoption so i have to live at home until i turn 18.

Answer 6

I know parents thing their children are their property sometimes, if he is abusing you physically you need to go to your school counselor and it might not hurt to anyway. Sometimes it seems worse than it is otherwise, parents have to have rules to follow so try to mind but be sure to report any of the other abuse. Good luck

Answer 7

my advice stay with your father or move with your mother but don't go alone or with some one you just met that could be hell inure self at less you have a roof on you're head and some food to eat don't do drugs and stay way from alcohol youngsters usely go for it and that they bigger mistake

Answer 8

Is there a relative you could talk to? A grandparent or an aunt? If you feel that you are being abused you should talk to someone about it.

Answer 9

i know call 911 he u should care when your dad hurts u .they would take u to ur mom and u will be safe this is serious tell someone the police or anyone that he is hurting u.

Answer 10

Be good student, finish the school, don't get in trouble.
Lassen your father nothing left.You are not the only one.