My boyfriend thinks my mom is overprotective.I sometimes think she is too. my moms not bad. there are some parents who are more overprotective than her. I am 21 and he is 28. he thinks i should talk to her about it soon. it drives him crazy sometimes. i want our relationship to last for a long time. What should i do?
2006-10-08 12:03:36 · 13 answers · asked by Melanie P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Say, "yeah, and I love her for it!"
He should respect your mother, and if he has a problem with her, maybe HE should talk to her. A sign of maturity and wanting to have an adult relationship is his ability to speak up for himself. He should be able to go to her and speak his piece. If not, maybe he isn't who you think he is.
If he insists you deal with your mother, consider that he is trying to spoil your relationship with her. Men do this to isolate you from your loved ones and friends, so they can control you. This could be the first step to an abusive relationship.
I'm not saying he's like that, I don't know the man, but you have to be careful and be brutally honest, with him, and yourself.
2006-10-08 12:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I am a Mom of Two young men, 22 & 24. Let me give you my view.
Does your mom need to know everything about you and your guys relationship? Does she call you on the cellphone more that 3x per week? Does she constantly tell you what to do instead of giving her advise? Does she follow you around or make up your agenda? Does she get so involved with your life and activities that you feel smothered as though she was living her life through yours? Does she challenge you on every choice you make? Does she pick your friends? Does she tell you when to come home, how to dress or what to do 24/7?
If you have too many yes answers here then she is controlling.
But don't forget if you still live at home with her she can tell you who you can bring home, when you need to be home for the evening, and she can either expect rent and food money or chores or both. You are an adult and should be contributing.
If your boyfriend is 27 he has been gone from home much longer than you. Mom usually release you as you mature. Doing it too fast and it is easy to not be ready for all the adult responsibilites. A few of those are paying your own bills (yes all), having a job, being responsible in all ways of life. If you love this guy make sure he is the right one for you. Make sure you are a total match.
Then that relationship is your priority.
2006-10-08 12:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reality which you haven't any longer been on your boyfriend's residing house because of the fact the incident befell makes you look responsible. you may take a while to speak to his mom and make an apology, or a minimum of clarify that it wasn't as undesirable because it could have appeared. And why does not your mom and dad care, besides? that doesn't sound solid. What are you asserting? If which potential you be happy to be "unfastened" or "uncomplicated," then your boyfriend's mom is probably appropriate on the money in this subject and he could pay attention to her and run for the hills jointly as he nonetheless can.
2016-10-15 23:44:22 · answer #3 · answered by reus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is the one that has a problem with your mom then tell him to talk to her. If you still live at home well of course your mom is going to be over protective thats what moms do. Now if your mom drives your BF crazy good luck with that cause if he's really into you he's going to have to get used to her. That is if he plans on marrying you some day.
2006-10-08 12:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you honestly think she is being overprotective too sit down and have a chat with her, at 21 you should know what you want but reassure her you still love her but you need more freedom
2006-10-08 12:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by sadistic_bondagelover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is just trying to protect you though there are extremes too. It'd be a good idea if she talked to your boyfriend more and also talk to her so she can try to trust your good judgment.
I think the age difference might scare her but if your boyfriend is a mature boy then it should be all right.
2006-10-08 12:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by Firelei P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to totally side with either your bf or your mom; but, try asking him why he thinks that. After his response, tell him how nice and sweet your mom is, and that she's just trying to protect you. He doesn't have to like her, but if he's respectful, he'll treat your mom nice when he's with her.
Along with your mom, you may think it's crazy, but try to be glad that your mom is that way. That's just a sign that she cares a whole lot for you and your safety. You may not realize that now, but someday you might.
2006-10-08 12:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how he would feel if it was his daughter, then tell him that you love your mom and she deserves your respect and that you have to take what she says into consideration. That doesn't mean that you have to do everything she says if you truly don't think it is the right thing to do.
2006-10-08 12:09:20 · answer #8 · answered by nellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to your mom let her know you think she is being to protective i think what you should understand is your mom cares about you and loves you a whole lot so just try and tell your boyfriend that your mom doesn't want to see you get hurt
2006-10-08 12:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by rayray17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a good mother must be an overprotective mother. Liston to your mother before your boyfriend.
2006-10-08 12:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋