Do You Find It Offending To Be Called Shy?

Question

Not sure if this is under the right category...Oh well. Anyway, I knew this person who I had to work with on this big project in algebra. She was really quiet and barely spoke. We had to present the project in front of the class when we were done. So I offered to "do most of the talking because you seem kind of shy" She got all mad and started almost screaming at me about how outgoing she was...I'm just wondering, is that really that offensive? Thanks for your opinions! =D

Answer 1

Being a shy person myself, Yes, I find it offensive. Because when a talkative person does all the talking in a conversation it doesn't give the shy person much time to talk. Its saying that you don't want to get to know the person that you are with.

And then when the talkative person say's to the shy person that they are shy, it does offend them because the talkative person doesn't give them time or an open door to talk. Sometimes, I like to tell the talkative person well if you would just not talk for a while I would be able to talk and not be so shy.

Or instead of talking just about yourself, Maybe asking the other person what they like to do and about them. That way its a two way friendship or start of a two way friendship so the other person doesn't feel left out.

I hope this helps you or gives you an idea of how your shy school mates feel.

Answer 2

No, I wouldn´t be offended if someone called me why. but I think your classmate is probably struggling with being shy and is probably trying to hide the fact that she is really shy and thought she was getting away with it. So then when you went and said she seemed shy she probably got a bit of a shock and took it out on you.
The other explanation is she is trying not to be shy and is really sentisive about it and got deffensive when you brough it up.
Or it is a combo of the above.
I wouldn´t worry about it too much, you couldn´t have known, and there isn´t much you can do, just be her friend if you like her.

Answer 3

I used to be shy and I would only get offended for being called shy because I knew it wasn't a good thing so for someone to point it out to me was a huge blow because they called me out on one of my flaws. I think that once you get older and deal with more people and experience different things, it's something you grow out of. Maybe she really was an outgoing person, but around people she didn't feel comfortable being around, she came off as shy.

Answer 4

People often hate to be categorized in any way. Many people want to appear to be far too complex to be described by a word or phrase. Your comment seems natural enough. Her response was not entirely unexpected, but definitely a sign of insecurity. Most people are insecure about something, though. Let it pass. It's no biggie.

Answer 5

maybe she is sensitive to the word "shy" because other people (e.g. family/siblings) use it towards her (because she acts shy), and she now thinks it is really irritating & a put down & she is trying to change that

if you want to find out more, you could apologise and ask her to explain what "shy" means, as you don't understand what happened

you may just help her to recognise that she is shy & find ways to overcome it ... that would be a great thing to do

Answer 6

Not at all.
Any criticism against us affects not our dignity. Our glory depends on our own thinking and action.
But in your case, there might be two reasons: your friend might be too sensitive with any words that she does'nt like; she might understand 'shy' as easily frightened or coward, while in her heart she is brave.
Just check to see clearly why and give her more encouragement,
because her attitude shows that she really needs it.

Answer 7

Not offensive at all. What you have to do with those people is make them offended anyway... tell them they're shy enough so that they defy you and start putting themselves out more. It's funny how much it actually works.

Answer 8

Generally it is not. Even, shy people are praising those like you taking on the social apperance. I guess, your friend had those complexes that she wanted to overcome, so you kind of hit a nerve, that she`s not ready to face yet.

Answer 9

As a typical shy person, I have to say no. I think shy is a characteristic, not a fault. I think the shy person you speak of is also very sensitive. Very, very sensitive...

Answer 10

well maybe she felt uncomfortable when you called her shy, I know I'm shy and I don't like it when people point it out to me especially when I'm blushing and stuff cause it makes it worse.
It's not offensive, but maybe she wanted to show you that's she was capable of doing the presentation etc.