True story I'm told.Bono is at a concert in Glasgow and asks the audience for some quiet.Then slowly claps his hands and says.
Every time I clap my hands a child in Africa dies.
A voice from the back shouts,"Well f**king stop then.
2006-10-08 11:22:35 · 12 answers · asked by coolkidz_03 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
thats one of the funniest things ive heard for ages - i hope its true :)
2006-10-08 11:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
a ventriloquist is on stage, his dummy is taking the urine out of the Irish. at the back of the hall an Irishman stands up and shouts out; "stop taking the mickey out of the Irish, or I'll come up there and give you a slap."
the vent. says "sorry mate, didn't mean to offend..."
paddy replies, " I'm talking to that little feller not you..." oh dear, sounded good when i heard it
2006-10-12 10:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by thesingist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the conservatives were canvassing for votes back in the eighties. someone knocked on my door and i answered with the hoover still in my hand and a bit sweaty and puffed out, The lady at the door said to me" i'm from the tory party sorry to stop you working" and my little heckle was" why's that then you have stopped 4 million others"......
2006-10-08 11:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by chris w. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They do tours of the 'Neighbours' set over in Australia and the guy who plays Harold Bishop gives back the best heckles. When people ask him why is he so fat he replies "Coz everytime I had sex with your Mum she gave me a cookie"
2006-10-10 21:32:41 · answer #4 · answered by MGN2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pmsl! i was at v fest & it was announced that 5 minutes of fame winner "preston" from the v.ordinary boys would not be turning up 4 the gig. the crowd (obviosly pleased at not hearing them emitted a huge roar of approval) some bloke behind me shouted " bet its cos hes f**king that dizzy bint from essex" well it made me laugh anyway (the fact that he can f**k that is)
2006-10-08 11:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you Next S**t is a hedgehog
Or
I am Professional like your mother was
2006-10-08 13:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by mozzie_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure why some people thought this offensive, I thought it was funny
2006-10-08 21:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't know any good hecles but that was pretty funny!!
2006-10-12 01:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by xx_lush_xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heee heee
2006-10-09 01:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom is a tuba player!!!!
2006-10-08 13:24:52 · answer #10 · answered by due 6/30/10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋