I have a good job, a nice house, and have been the the only caregiver besides my parents help. He is a bartender, has no steady home, and his car isnt even babysafe, he also drinks. All of a sudden he wants to play daddy. He drank through my pregnancy which created so much stress. I don't feel saft letting him take my daughter out of my sight. He gives me no money to help take care of her. Can you tell me some of the laws.
2006-10-08 10:07:23 · 8 answers · asked by suzifury504 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Get an attorney quickly. The attorney can put conditions of the Dad seeing your baby. Like only with someone else present and not leaving with him in a car. The attorney can also get you help in making him pay child support. If you don't need it, put it away for college, but make him be responsible.
2006-10-08 10:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should do your best to include him in on the relationship. It is for your own daughters benefit in the LONG run. This does not mean that you ever willingly put your baby in a dangerous situation. This means any siutation where alchohol is involved or no car safety seats, or being left alone if he doesn't know how to care for the baby. What you do to benefit yourself as well, is tell him in very positive ways that you know its improtant for him to get to her know her, and that you want to help. And that he is welcome any time to come over and help and take care of her and form a relationship with her so that he can begin taking her for short periods of time. however, until there is a CUSTODY agreement, do not let your baby out of sight. Until there is a custody agreement, he coudl take the baby and not return it, and there is nothing the police or anyone else has to do by law. Yes you have the ultimate control. Keep this in the back of your mind. Do not use it as ammunition, it will only hurt things in the future. You will be dealing with this man fo rthe next 18 years so accept that now. You do not have to love him y ou do not have to even like him right now, but you do have to always ALWAYS put yoru child's best interests at heart. This means ensuring her safety no matter what, and attempting to allow some type of parental bond to occur with in those bounds of safety. I have been through the same situation. my sons dad doesn't have anyting to do with him at this point (10 years later) but he did attempt a few times. The point is, you always make tht an option..you always try to help them learn how to handle the child. And in the end, if they walk away, or stop, it is on their back and not yours you see? Because one day the child will want to know why? IN this way you make sure your child is safe, that there is a possibility of a relationship occuring, and that later on down the road you can honestly say you did everything you could with in the bounds of safety. I hope this helps and gives you an idea of how you must try ot think about things now. You are the mom now, and you have to be strong, no matter what someoem else does now.
2006-10-08 17:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the laws go, I would need to know more about the situation. Is his name on the birth certificate? Did he sign an acknowledgment of paternity? Was there a DNA test done? What state do you live in?
You need to protect your child at all costs. Just because he fathered the child does not mean in any way shape or form that he is ready or fit to be a parent. Most family lawyers give free initial consultations. I would check one of those out. Find out what your rights are and fight for your child's well-being. It doesn't sound like this man should be anywhere near your child.
2006-10-08 17:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by Kristi's Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm having a similar problem, my son is 4 months old and "daddy" is trying to be super daddy. he hasn't helped me with money at all but still wants to see son every weekend and some through the week. i think he is just doing it to see me which could be the case with you. i went and got myself a lawyer(i am in tennessee so it might be different where you are) he advised me to take him to court for support and to set up a visitation schedule. he also has dui's in the past and drinks. i take our son to him every sunday at daddy's parents house and they keep him for 6 or 7 hrs then i go get him, that way i don't have to worry about him riding with his dad. my lawyer says he has no rights untill a judge rules on the case. even if his name is on the birth certificate it does not make him the legal father. that has to go through the court. so if he comes to get her call the police and tell them he is harassing you, he can't do anything till it goes to court. even after that, if the judge says he can have visitation it will only be during the day, no over night untill baby is one. the only way he can have joint custudy is if you agree to it so don't let them trick you into anything you don't agree with. i suggest you get a lawyer, let your daughters father have supervised visitation untill he proves he can be a father then go from there. your not being mean to your daughter by depriving her of her daddy you are protecting her. right now the court considers her to be in her "tender years" as they put it, that is when bonding with the mother is the most important. just don't freak out, it will all work out, just be sure to get a lawyer BEFORE he does or he could petition for custody, right now neither of you has custody untill it goes to court. hope this helps-good luck
2006-10-08 17:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by new momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think as long as there no proof that he is your childs father then you have the right not to let him.if he signed the birth cert he has rights to the child and if you refuse he can take you to court of custedy.i would say play it safe and before he gets a chance to see a lawyer you go first and cover as much ground as you can to secure your rights as the mother and keep custedy.good luck
2006-10-08 19:52:03 · answer #5 · answered by lovedove662000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to show reasonable concerns. I wouldn't let him take her
This is now longer about you or your partner. However he is clearly having trouble facing up to responsibility's. You must tell him why he cannot have her and if necessary get legal advice.
2006-10-08 17:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by froggerty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply for sole custody. Call a lawyer and explain these things to him. See what they can do. Good luck!
2006-10-08 17:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by flower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not married he has no legal rights
call cops, get court order get bum leave
2006-10-08 17:30:05 · answer #8 · answered by radioaracountryshow 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋