how do i stop loving my babys father who hits and cheats on me?

Question

He cheated when i was pregnant and got somemoe else pregnant i stood by him.I dont want to love him i want to b able to get him out of my life but i cant stop this feelin.I would tell my mate to get rid so y cant i take my own advice.Please please help

Answer 1

Get some therapy. An outside source can help you find out where the source of all of this is coming from. Then you can fix it. It'll help a lot. Good luck!

Answer 2

You need to get away from him, to relative, a friend, or a shelter. Do it now. If I knew your location I would suggest a safe place to go, but get your yellow pages and look for a domestic abuse hotline, they can help you and tell you places you and your child can go to get away and be safe. DO NOT tell your boyfriend about your plan, just gather what you can, and when its safe, get out. You will see, in time, "love" is often mistook for familarity and the need to "rescue" someone you have no responsibility to. You probably will need therapy. You can still love someone, but have "tough love", you don't have to put up with abuse, and you shouldn't. NO ONE has the right to treat you that way, and if you still love him, it doesn't mean you have to stay with him. The best thing you can do for him right now is leave him, maybe he will realize he needs help too. IF not for you, do it for your child. Some states will take your kids away if you knowingly let them stay in that type of environment, and if he EVER lays a hand on that child, you better believe if you don't leave him, they will charge you as an accessory if you did nothing to stop it, even just by not leaving him in the first place. It's very serious, and I hope you get the help you need.

Answer 3

I wish I could just give you an answer that works and that magically helps you, but you have to believe in yourself. Maybe understanding why you can't leave him would help you leave. Are you just scared of being alone? is there something that he does for you? does he make you feel wanted? are you worried there won't be someone else for you?

No-one who hits you and cheats on you is worth a second thought, you have given him more than he deserves. You would be better off alone, do you think that he feels the same about you - if he does would he treat you this way? do the right thing, be brave - there will be someone out there who will love you and cherish you and not hit you or cheat on you.

Believe in yourself - I don;t even know you and from the paragraph you read in your question - I believe in you. Be brave.

Answer 4

I can sympathise with you, I know it's hard, you think that you are crazy for feeling this way and know that he is not worth it but it's like an addition, a drug, you can't stop. My little girls father cheated throughout our relationship (although I did not find out til later), he wanted me to have an abortion and then put her up for adoption, he then left when she was a baby. That was half a decade ago but I still find it tough not thinking about him. You want to find the good in him, the thing that made you fall in love with him at the start; now you have a child together you want him to be the perfect dad but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. I'm sorry to say this but he has no respect for you, he is walking all over you, he knows that he can get away with this sh*t. Find some courage and stand up to him, don't cower in the background you are worth so much more than that. Good luck.

Answer 5

Just read your own question and then you answer it. Apparently he has not given you enough abuse so that is why you stay. I could go on here for hours telling you why you should leave but if he is all that you say then you are not going to pay any attention to us and leave him. When he leaves you for another woman or put you in the hospital for a good long time then maybe you will wake up and leave him. Untill that happens I can see you staying with him. Obviously you must like the treatment. I have been there, done that and got out in a hurry but not before I was left deaf in my left ear due to a beating that I still do not understand why I got it. You just sit and wait, it will happen.

Answer 6

When you realize you don't have to live like that any more and that one day your child will know what's going on, you will leave.
Let me put it to you another way....you will give him the best years of your life and when your youth is gone and you feel like you have nothing else to give....he will leave you. You can't change him. It's a choice he makes and he has to want to change until then it will remain the same. I've been in your shoes right down to him getting another girl pregnant. And you know what, he didn't change, but he is some other girls problem now an

Answer 7

He has you on your knees and what man really wants a relationship that is based ion bullying the woman? You are a mother now and you have to prioritise your and your babies welfare, you must find it within yourself to say "I am a worthy person, I should be with someone who treats me well and truly loves me, leave this guy and be strong he wont change he has no respect for you as a woman or the mother of his child he is a waster. Good luck you will find happiness when you get away from him.

Answer 8

call the police the next time he lays a hand on you , a few nights in jail may wake him up , also a ppo from the courts will detour him too ..PPO = personal protection order , talk to any law enforcement officer , they can explain it ... have a chat with your father maybe , if he knew his daughter an grand baby was beign abused , well, i'm sure he would call the police , hmmmmmmm ....another thing is basic personal defense , grab a frying pan an whack him in his head next time he touchs you. sorry , don't do that , but you have the right to defend yourself tho .there are safe house's availible , contact a local public office for the nearest one , they will be able to " hide " you for a few days if nec.

Answer 9

Ok what you really need to do is ask yourself "what does he REALLY do for me?"

He beats you, cheats on you, and you STILL think that HE loves you? Why stand by him when he won't respect you enough to do the same?

you need to cut the punk loose, he's only interested in seeing how many women will be sucker enough to sleep with him and believe his lies.

do you like being beaten? humiliated by him? being let down every time he promises you that he'll change or do better NEXT time? you CAN have your OWN life without him in it, you had a life before he came along and you can have one again when he's gone.

make sure that you get paperwork drawn up for child support or whatever assistance he'll be required to give you to help you raise your child.

what you need is some self esteem to cut him loose and move on with your life to find someone who'll support you and encourage you.

Answer 10

you have to distance yourself from him! do not alow him to hit you anymore!once a cheater always a cheater. even an unborn baby can hear and feel what is going on outside. thats why the parents are supposed to talk to them with kind voices. if he/she can hear all that is going on he/she needs to know that at least his/her mother cares, and will do what she can to give him/her the best life possible without violence. also what makes you so sure that if he hitts you he wont hit your baby as well? you dont.if you stay with him you will only get abused more and more as will your child.if your baby grows up around that kind of abuse he/she will come to believe that its ok and could possibly turn on you, his own mother. i hope that nothing like that ever happnes but you cant take chances. i hope that this helped you. good luck to you and your baby. and i hope you make the right choice if only for your baby!