every time i get dumped i go and visit an escort, i cant help it, what shall i do?

Question

its really compulsive and when i get the need i cant do anything until have made the visit. I know its sordid and awaste of money. why do i do it and how can i stop?

Answer 1

buy a porno

Answer 2

I quite understand - on the one hand I agree with the guy below who says it doesn't matter - it's sex without the hassle of a girlfriend, and no one is judging you these days - and no, I don't think you are sick. However, i also think that you must be a bright and basically caring person to have asked the question in the first place - It can be a real ego-downer to be dumped by anyone (even someone you may never have been keen on in the first place), and visiting an escort is a way to get a quick high - not just from sex, but to build up your self esteem, to make you feel that you are a man, and that women will do what you want them to. I have no problem with that - the thing is, after the thrill of the sex has gone away, you do seem to be concerned about it. You are not seeing the prostitutes for sex, but for self-validation, and that will never happen - it;s a bit like any sort of addiction - drugs, booze, whatever - this is sex - you get a hit from it but it becomes a vicious circle and stops you from doing what you really want with your life. You can have a GF, and yes, contrary to what some of the other guys say on this site, you can have a great sex life with her, and if you are both compatible and so inclined, even do the kinky stuff too - but before you can do that you have to feel happier about yourself. You have to believe that you were not being dumped because you are flawed in some way - loads of relationships don't work out. You just have to work at it, and I am sure you will because you seem to have the intelligence to see the problem - good luck - and if you can manage it, a counsellor that you really get on with can help. Good luck!

Answer 3

CHARLIE, WHY DO YOU THINK THAT AN "ESCORT SERVICE" EXISTS???? They are to make up for the natural need of companionship.

Some individuals, like you, have emotional needs and escorts seem to fufill those needs temporarily until another relationship comes along. This is somewhat healthy (I feel it is. I'm not an expert, but you could get involved with worse things).

Others, use escort services solely for the purpose of REPLACING natural relationships. It was once told to me that these types of men "Pay the women to leave...." Its my personal understanding that these men prefer not to have relationships, so they use this service to keep women "At bay" so to speak, so as to not distract them from the single life that they prefer.

What you do isnt as bad as you may think, but if you are truly concerned, you should talk to your family physician about seeking out a counselor on the issue. Also if you talk to your HR department at work about the EAP program (Employee Assistance Program.....program...), they offer counseling also.

At least your concerned about your habit, so your taking the first step, which is GOOD.

Gudluk!!

Answer 4

Hi Charlie, You are going to get a lot of flack off other people from this question. See the first answer if you do not believe me. I went through a faze where I was visiting prostitutes a lot, and it was not about the money, IT IS ONLY MONEY ffs, Take no notice off ignorant people who post stuff like... ohhh your sick etc etc. For me it was sex without the slaver you don't have to woo a prossie or buy her flowers and s+it like that to get into her knickers. PLUS you can ask them to do kinky stuff that you would not dare ask your girlfriend to do... So my answers is what the hell just keep visiting them, in 100 years time it will not matter anyway.

Answer 5

Its just a confidence thing.You've been rejected and need to feel secure and wanted.Learn to love the person you are and tell yourself that you don't need someone else to make you happy,you are a strong person.If you want to try and stop the visits,maybe it would be an idea to go out and meet up with a good friend instead,someone who makes you laugh and feel special in a non sexual way.

Answer 6

Are you getting dumped on purpose?

Why not try masterbation? It's cheaper than an escort. Try staying in a relationship, instead of always getting dumped.

Answer 7

You have insecurity issues.....you rebound because your hurt then use escorts to comfort you but they dont offer real comfort that you need you need to handle your emotions better.
They make their money out of people like you.

Maybe this is saying something about why you keep getting dumped.

Answer 8

Because your a very insercure person and afraid to be alone,I,m not saying this to be mean,i,m being Honest,So you can work on your Flaws!You need to learn to be happy with yourslf before you can truely be happy with someone else!Next time this happens,Try staying home and put porn in and sadisfy yourself,Its alot cheaper,and I always said,Nobody knows how to do me like I do!KaBiss!Hollywood

Answer 9

Very simply consider the wasted outlay moneywise. Consider the fact that your need for sex is not equal to the amount of money you pay for it. Get it into your head that the enxt time you should have sex is with a girl who wants sex with you for reasons of lust and not for monetary reasons...

Answer 10

think the fact you so readily turn to tarts might be why your relationships aint lasting so long - you aint got any weird fetishes have you??

I'd have a chat with a councillor, particularly as you see it as a problem - or failing that - date an escort!

Answer 11

Carry on - If you feel the need then why the hell not? Its your money after all, and its better than a magazine thats for sure!!