I have a 4 month old baby girl. Me and my ex split up very shortly after she was born(he broke up with me) I was really hurt and tried everything to get him to stay with me, it took me a couple of months to accept the split and realize that it was for the best. I still love him, but we are toxic and he has a lifestyle that is so different from mine and isnt willing to change, fatherhood has changed him very little. We had finally got to the point where we could talk about the baby and deal with parenting issues and be somewhat "Friends" then he started trying to get me to hav sex with him, telling me that he will always love me, but I stood firm. Last night he came over to see the baby and he was trying to feel me up and kiss me, telling me I am the only person he loves me. I found out that he has had a woman with children living with him for 2 months now! I was very upset and have been crying all day, cursed him out and I dont know how to deal with him from this point on. Any adivice?
2006-10-08 08:47:16 · 12 answers · asked by Lou Lou 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you are doing the right thing. Seems he is immature and needs to grow up. As I found out during this same problem, he used the baby as a way to keep trying to abuse me mentally, physically, emotionaly, and verbally! And the affects it would have done over years to the child, made me know, he wasn't to be in my life. Stand your ground, and tell him straight up, any advances from him futher will be reported. If he wants to see the baby, he has to respect your wishes, or you can set up parental time thru the courts so you don't have to be around him at all. If he faulters on that, do as you say you will. Whatever you tell him, make sure you DO it!! Or he will take advantage of you.
I'm proud of you! May you be blessed with strength and comfort. And remain the great mother you are. Maybe even serving as the father roll too! :)
2006-10-08 09:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tesra 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your EX to keep his hands to himself that you have enough on your plate to deal with-taking care of your baby girl- without him coming around trying to be an aggravation to you!. Hope you feel better since he got a good cussing out he needs a swift kick in the rear as well! Keep him out of your life as much as you can and sometime you will meet someone who will treat you right! Make him support your baby girl! Have him up for harassment-that is exactly what he is doing to you! Take a rolling pin to him the next time he comes around! Better yet take a broom to him and when you finish sweep him out with the rest of the trash! If all else fails have the cops come over to get rid of him-or a nice looking strong body guard! Let him see the baby some where else besides your home!
2006-10-08 09:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
good for you to stand firm!! this is hard but you need to let him know you strictly are just involved with him as your childs mother and nothing more. stand firm. Having a child don't make anyone a daddy that comes from the heart and if he loves the baby and is willing to have a relationship with the baby without "booty" on the side then let him but don't give up the "booty" just so he'll come see the baby.
2006-10-08 08:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by wendy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like a child himself.You can't change him,as you probably already know.He will have to grow up on his own,and they may take awhile.
As far as him trying to have sex with you.If you don't want that to happen meet him in a crowded place(a mall,restaurant,family members house).And only allow him to visit this way.Or if you know he's coming over,invite someone else like a friend to be there with you.
Hope this helps,good luck
2006-10-08 08:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by seandebra17 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let see if we can give him some visitation and not at your house becaues he really dont want you my brother is like that if the girl will let him. One thing that you dont want to do is keep his baby away from him just give him the baby and get to steppin in yo hot clothes look your best when you drop her off but dont stay.
2006-10-08 08:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by kady 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From now on, I would meet in a neutral place with a third party present when he wants to visit the baby. Avoid being alone with him. He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Do not allow him to use you or play with your emotions.
2006-10-08 08:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by mad 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he wants to see the baby fine. Keep emotional distance from him. Save your energy, time, and love for your baby who is going to need it....and make sure you know his SSN and have him pay child support, even if you don't need it, you can put it away for your baby girl for when she gets older.
2006-10-08 08:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by mahree 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hold your ground and don't look back. You don't need a second child by this creep.
Don't try to be friends with him, just get the child support and live your life with your child.
2006-10-08 08:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well you have to be civil with him atleast for the baby's sake. As for him.. he still is your baby's father. Just dont try anything romantic with the jerk. Good Luck
2006-10-08 09:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is it going to take for you to wake up.this man is lethal and you are trying to defend him. you need help, get it right now. you problems are only going to get worse, if you don't. You see what is right in front of your face and will not acknowledge it .
2006-10-08 09:06:25 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋