My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. I love him dearly. The only issue we have between us is his parents. We are both 26, but he is an only child. He still lives at home because his parents guilt him into not moving out. They would have noone to take care of them etc. They are older, in their 60s, but I am fairly independent with my own place etc. Long story short, they don't want their "baby" really having a girlfriend, but we both know that isn't realistic. I have a hard time being polite to them when I call or when I'm over there since I know they really don't like me. It's not that they don't like me, they don't like any girl with their only son. Has anyone gone through this or have any advice for me? We have broken up before, but we love eachother and want to be together. I appreciate any feedback or advice. Thank you!!
2006-10-08 08:05:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just try and be nice to his folks! they are not going to be too fond of anyone, who is in love with their baby. Don't hound him about moving out, you know the situation, so the more at ease you are with it, the better you are going to feel, in other words, except the situation. be supportive of him. Don't make it an issue. Love him for the person he is!
2006-10-08 08:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's typical for parents to feel this way. In short, you need to make his parents feel comfortable around you. Have dinner at his house more often, offer to come over and take care of someone if your boyfriend isn't there, when you call him, tell him that you said hi to his parents. If his parents respect you as a person, then they will accept you as good enough for their son. Even if it's rocky at first, keep on truckin', because if you really love this guy, you've got to get to the bottom of his parent's hearts. Even if they aren't in love with you, just being a decent person and being polite to them will show them that you are a respectable girl.
Good luck!
2006-10-08 15:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being nice to his parents. Ask yourself if being nice to anyone is appropriate. The issue,, maybe, with your boyfriend still living with his parents. Is your frustration at having to to his place or seeing his parents. It is ok to live with parents past the 'leave the nest' time, but a reason would be good. Scool, study, something beneficial and not laziness, noncommitmant, etc...
2006-10-08 15:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by TCFKAYM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had trouble with my sister-in-law similar to that when I met my husband. I felt so weak when it came to her. But I finally stood up to her, because my husband won't. He says that's just the way she is. If you are serious about being with him forever, you will have to learn how to deal with them. Just make sure you don't alienate them from your lives. Do you own thing together and do things with them also. Like have them to your place for dinner or a party, or invite his mother to go somewhere with you while he and his dad are watching football. Use this as an opportunity to get to know them. They probably aren't bad people and just want to know that their "baby" is being treated fairly. Use this situation to your advantage and it will work out.
2006-10-08 15:13:23 · answer #4 · answered by SusieQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truely loves you he won't let his parents be a problem. It's hard to give up that only child.( I know as my daughter is moving out to another state to be with her boyfriend and I am dying!) Be polite and helpfull after all a daughter in law can be additional help as they grow older. No matter what you do you may have to come to the decision where you know NO ONE will ever be good enough for their son. Bite your toungue and be polite and helpfull. Talk your feelings over with your man. He may have to be the one to speak up and say " I love her and if you want me to be happy you will give us your blessing to be together" It's time for him to cut the apron strings!!! It's normal for kids to leave as my daughter keeps pointing out when I am sobbing as she packs. His parents will have to get used to it. Most kids leave the nest earlier.
2006-10-08 15:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by bramblerock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should sit down together (you the boyfriend and the parents ) and talk about how you feel. one important thing is to make sure that your BF knows how you feel or it will be a surprise to him and the parents. also you should ask your BF to help you out with this problem and if he says he cant then hes not worth it and your going to have to leave him especially if he doesnt chase after you. you might think you love him and he loves you but its problems like these that really test your relationship. plus your gonna have to deal with hos parents especially if your thinking about getting married or starting a family or something like that
2006-10-08 15:11:40 · answer #6 · answered by u_no_u_luv_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just spend more time with his parents by going at his place. The more you peoplem communicate the more it will become easy for u to get comforatble with each other and understand each other and in short get together with each other coz one day or the other their only son has to get married so make them feel u r the BEST CHOICE!! all the best!
2006-10-08 15:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Shelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get along with them i know it must be hard...i got oppisite problem my x boyfreinds parents just love me and call me daughter..they dislike girl he married...talk too him about his parents...there not that old they need to let go...if not you may have another 20 years of this my heart goes out too you ...his parents sounds like its time to go to a counslor...good luck
2006-10-08 15:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by little_outlaw_angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS A CLASSIC MOMMY'S AND DADDY'S BOY SYNDROME SCENARIO. IGNORE HIS PARENTS AND JUST TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW THAT SOONER OR LATER HE HAS TO LIVE HIS LIFE THE WAY HE WANTS TO. HE CAN'T LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS FOREVER. THE DECISION IS HIS. HIS PARENTS ARE NOT HOLDING HIM CAPTIVE. HE HAS TO GROW UP AND BE A MAN AND MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS. HOPEFULLY HE WILL SOON.
2006-10-08 15:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Tee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋