I broke up with my ex-boyfriend nearly 2 months ago and i have a new boyfriend. I have just found out that i am pregnant for my ex and i am 2 1/2 months gone already. What should i do? Get back with ex for the babies sake or should i continue seeing my current boyfriend and just let my ex visit his child?
2006-10-08 04:55:03 · 40 answers · asked by Queen Scorpio 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I think it would depend why your ex is your ex. Did you break up over something serious like violence or cheating or because you were incompatible?
How do you think your new man is going to react? Will he stand by you knowing that the baby is not his or will he dump you once he knows?
What do you want out of life? I wouldn't go back to my ex if the split was less than amicable just because I was pregnant. How would you feel if your current boyfriend didn't want to know and nor did the other one? Could you face bringing up a baby on your own?
I think you should think long and hard about the life that you want to lead and, more importantly, what is the best for baby. Being on your own may be a better option, all things considered, than trying to bring baby up in a relationship that's forced together by circumstances or expecting a man who you've only been seeing for a few weeks to make such a major decision about the rest of his life.
Could you speak to your parents or an understanding aunt? If not, there is the Brook Advisory Centre which deals with all sorts of pregnancy-related situations.
Good luck anyway with whatever you decide. :-)
2006-10-08 05:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before u make any decisions I think you need to think about two things.1 Why did I break up with my ex in the first place?
2 How do I know i'll be with guy number 2 for the long haul. If you two really don't get along or like each other than staying together for the childs sake will be hard on you and the child. Fighting parents are not stable or healthy for the child or you. You have to take care of you so you can care for your child. Now is the time to put your child first.
2006-10-08 08:45:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going back with your ex is a mistake if you are only doing it because you are having his baby, it will never work. You split for a reason and having a baby will not change that.
Does your new boyfriend know about the pregnancy? If he is not willing to accept it then you are better off on your own. Millions of people have been bringing children up on their own for years, you are not the first and you most definitely won't be the last.
If your new boyfriend is happy about it then you should stick with him if that's what you want. Either way the problems you had with your ex will still be there whether a baby is here or not so don't fool yourself into thinking it will have a fairytale ending now a baby is in the equation. The baby is entitled to know it's dad and you should work out a mutual access arrangement once he/she is born.
I know it seems a scary and impossible thought doing it on your own but it will be ok.
2006-10-08 05:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a beliver of all things happen fo a reason and it all depends on why you guys broke up. If the situation was abusive in anyway then I say to leave it alone and continue with your life with the new boyfriend but you have to tell them both. Always remember that a child CAN NOT make a relationship work if it's already a done deal. This is the question you need to ask yourself, How would his attitude affect my child's well-being? If there is any hint of doubt then let him be the outside parent and it may work better for the both of you. I hope that my opinion will help you.
2006-10-08 05:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH honey,well you have to tell both of them as soon as,why did you and your ex split?its not always the right thing to do ,to be with someone just because there is a child involved.Something else you have to consider is will the new boyfriend want to bring another mans child into the world.How old are you?You need to think long and very hard about all this.I know someone very close to me who got pregnant the boyfriend didn't want to know and she meet someone else who had been a friend for a long time and he stuck by her ,the baby is now over a year old and they are a happy family unit,but the biological dad isn't involved.On the other hand I'm a single parent and have been most of my life and it is horrible watch another man tell your child off and not agreeing with the things that you know and feel to be right.Whatever your choice please think long and hard as this is the rest of your life you have to consider.
2006-10-08 05:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back to your ex just for the babies sake that would be the wrong thing to do for yourself and any child involved. As long as you get the support you need from your present boyfriend then just stay and be happy. Every parent has the right to see their child if they wish to, it is up to them to get involved. If anyone just says abortion then they have obviously not gone through that ordeal, abortion is not something that you can just decide and hope that it won't affect you later in life, think long and hard what you wish to do, talk to your boyfriend and ask for his support. If he does not want to give it then you are obviously with the wrong person but unless you ask you won't know. Good luck either way.
2006-10-08 06:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by thumbelina1956 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your new boyfriend accepts that you're having another mans child,and is still prepared to stay with you,then i'd definately continue seeing him,as for going back to your ex,dont go back to him for the baby's sake,a happy,contented single mum is better than both parents being miserable and unhappy.good luck with the rest of your pregnancy,and hope all goes well.please make the right decision for you and the baby,there are 2 of you now,if 1 isn't happy,the other wont be either.
2006-10-08 11:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by stokies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what i think you should do is if your new boyfriend does mind you being pregnant to another boy i say stay with him because if you get back with your ex you are only doing it for the baby and you will be unhappy so stay with your new boy and let your ex visit that's if he even wants to be apart of the child's life you dint want to be in a relationship fighting a baby will just make it harder OK so good luck for the future and congratulations to you
2006-10-08 08:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by kacey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt go back to your ex. You obviously had genuine reasons for breaking up. Every child deserves to be in a loving family and although you might think having the "Daddy" with you is the best thing it isnt always. Explain to your current partner the situation and also to your ex. I am sure he will understand the circumstances and will want to be apart of his babies life. Good luck with everything and try not to stress.
2006-10-08 05:08:44 · answer #9 · answered by Teresa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been one to believe that sticking with a man (or woman for that matter) for the sheer fact that a baby is on its way was a good idea. I agree, you broke up with him for a reason. It's ex's right to know you're having his child if for no other reason than to be prepared to fork out the child support. But that doesn't mean that just because it was his swimmers involved that he's the better option for you and/or your child. Stay where YOU're happiest, and your child will have a better life for it.
2006-10-08 05:03:43 · answer #10 · answered by desiderio 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋