I think that this is ridiculous! With the cost of weddings today(even simple ones cost a fortune) it's really sad that it all has to fall on the bride. My parents specifically told me that they are NOT paying for anything!!!
In which cultures does the groom pay for everything? Let me know so that I can marry someone from there!!!
2006-10-08 04:23:18 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's a very old custom. It comes from back in the days when women didn't work. The bride's family paid for the wedding and then the husband supported her for the rest of her life.
Times have changed and it's time for that tradition to change.
2006-10-08 04:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it goes way back to the days when the bride's family brought a "dowry" (don't know if that's spelled right - my spell ck is dead) to the grooms family. It was a multicultural thing. In some areas they brought cows and chickens - others it was cold hard cash. I think that it was that the bride's family paid the groom's family to take her into their family. In those days, every mouth that had to be fed was an extra expense. The actual why of the whole tradition, I'm not sure - but I would guess that's what sort of melded into the bride's family paying for everything.
And, just an aside. Simple weddings don't have to cost a fortune. If you have friends who are crafty, a lot of the big expenses - like flowers (go with silk to decorate-Joann's and Michael's have them 50% off all the time) and make things yourself.. If you know someone who can sew - have the dresses made.
My son got married 3 years ago, her parents couldn't help financially, so we did most of it ourselves. It was a beautiful ceremony - and it totalled around $800.
It's all about how big you want to make it - and today, who's wedding you've been to that you want to do "one better than."
Small and simple can be intimate and beautiful.
Good luck in your search for the right culture. And if you find it - post it in "Answers"!!
2006-10-08 04:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi its just tradition and not all the brides family have to pay for everything.Mostly these days the bride and groom pay for there own wedding. If your farther have said that he wont pay for everything have a word with your grooms parents and your parents and all of you could go halfs. It doesnt matter now adays who pays for the weddingas long as you have a wedding. So you dont have to marry someone from a different cuture, if you do you will find that there cuture maybe even more difficult than a normal english wedding so keep that in mind.
2006-10-08 05:39:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The brides family does not HAVE TO PAY for everything. It is merely a tradition and you do not have to follow it. I do not know of any culture that has the groom pay for the wedding procedures so that is not a viable solution for your situation. I believe it is more the relationship you have with your fiancee about finances and such. A good conversation on how you will handle finances in your marriage well help to decide on how the wedding monetary needs will be handled.
Another solution if your are financially strapped may be a destination wedding. If your family is refusing to pay and your fiancee wants to follow tradition. You may want to contract a hotel at a resort to be the venue for your wedding. If you bring enough people to their establishment, they will be very willing to give you tremendous things for free....... from the cake to the cocktail hour.......... even the officiant. Get your negotiation skills together and your game face on, its hard to develop a lovely wedding on a budget.
2006-10-08 05:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by justthetwoofus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although the general rule is the bride's family pays, this is not always the case. Anyway, I dont know what your family situation is, but my family could not afford much. So we compromised. I made the dress, my brothers were photographers so they took the pictures, free of charge. My husband's aunt made the flower arrangements from silk flowers, and The neighbor made the wedding cake. My parents only paid for the modest reception. The rest I paid for, which wasnt much over a 6 month period.
In other cultures the man bears the responsibility. In some cultures the man marries much older because he must provide the bride with a place to live, furniture, and a dowery.
2006-10-08 04:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In Chinese culture, the GROOM'S family pays for everything, because the woman is 'given away' to another family and she will bear the man's last name. So for that, the man has to pay for the ceremonies, although the bride comes with a dowry. I think it's still practiced in China, and in Singapore i know families which the groom's side will have to pay for everything. But nowadays, it's the couple that splits it in half and pays for it themselves. Or The bride and the groom's family will decide on who is to pay for which part of the ceremony.
Alternatively (and my boyfriend is all for this idea), is to get married in Vegas, just both of u and a few close friends. Your family won't be happy, but you'll save a heap of money!
2006-10-08 22:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by cscjm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In on the instant's society, i definitely do not think of that rule holds up anymore. it is unrealistic to ask one individual's relatives to pay this style of huge quantity of money, exceedingly in the event that they are able to't have the money for it. some time past, wedding ceremony have been lots low priced, using fact existence often replaced into low priced. I recommend, families use to get by making use of on one income. Now, you have human beings somewhat making it with 2 earning. i think of a marriage must be funded by making use of every person that provides. If the bride's relatives promises to pay the finished invoice, this is large. yet, it won't be envisioned. It not approximately who will pay vs. who does not pay. it is approximately only taking what provides you with get from regardless of relatives, whether the bride, the grooms, the two or no one in any respect.
2016-10-19 00:45:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I'm not mistaken, the responsbility started laying in the hands of the brides family, because it was the fathers who wanted to rid of their daughter. The brides even use to come with a dowery!
If the cost of a wedding is too much for your family to indure, why not just the 2 of u elope, or start saving your money for your own wedding. It's not nice of your folks to NOT help in any of it, unless they just flat out can't afford to do so.
It's the grooms family that art responsible for the before dinner party. But you usually only find that in big fancy weddings where there seems to be alot of money on both sides.
Try the easiest possible, or save first on your own.
2006-10-08 04:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I did not have a wedding. This hasn't changed anything in our relationship. If our families had spent all the THOUSANDS that most people spent, we would have regretted it, I am certain. It is too much for a celebration that will last less than a day.
The stress that weddings cause the bride, the groom and the families is NOT worth it, either. It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Now it is just a day of high-dollar dress-up.
With all the divorce these days, what a waste of $$. You could put down a good-sized downpayment on a house instead.
2006-10-08 04:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is just a tradition...one which is slowly slipping away I might add. It used to be a point of pride of the father of the bride to be able to give his daughter the wedding of her dreams. But times, they are a-changin'. Some parents agree to split the cost of the wedding between the two families, and from experience I know that my best friend ended up footing the entire bill recently himself...he'll be in debt for years because of it.
2006-10-08 04:27:23 · answer #10 · answered by Tom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋