i have been with my boyfriend for over five years on and off and now we have a child together who is 15 months old. he has cheated on me in the past and i caught him sending some not so innocent texts to a girl. so being big and giving him a choice i told him if he was not happy with us then he did not have to be with me. he could see his son as much or as little as he wanted i would not get in the way of it. he said he was happy and we got on with life but there is always this doubt at the back of my mind. his phone messages are now always deleted but at workhe has access to e-mail ets and his phone bill sometimes has numbers used when i not around. so what do i do? pretend as i have been? hide behind smiles? i do love him with all my heart but is that enough for him? i try to be everything he wants but is that enough?
2006-10-08 04:08:07 · 21 answers · asked by susan d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know it's time to move on when you start asking these questions.
Obviously you're unhappy and living with someone who does not love you and respect you. You are allowing his behavior.
You are much more valuable and don't deserve to be treated so poorly.
Is this the example you want your son to be raised in? Get out while he's young.
I hope you find peace and happiness.....
2006-10-08 04:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can not trust the person that you are with then you need to move on, Life is too short not to be happy. Faking it looks good on the outside but will eat you up on the inside. Do not let your child grow up not seeing love in the family. Children can tell when parents are not happy and it can affect them. Don't wait too late, if he is texting and calling it may not be too long before he meets and greets with another. Hopefully he will respect you enough to not have sex with someone else and you at the same time. You could wind up getting something that will be with you longer then he will (another child or an STD). Learn to be happy on your own. Once you are happy you will be able to find someone who really loves and wants to be with you and only you.
2006-10-08 11:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by fijisun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships that work are just easy and you don't have to try and try. Treat yourself like your best friend and keep away from the bastard. I've recently had to make a break and i can truly say after the initial heartache i'm a million times happier just hanging out with friends who really care about me. I have way more fun than i ever did with him. Cut him out like a tumour. You're baby will always love you more than a dad that is clearly a dick. No room for doubt and pretend smiles. You'll go insane. Imagine 40 years of that!
2006-10-08 11:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by peeve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all...top snooping into his phone...that's his private property....it will torture you more if you keep reading his text messages....don't be a pushover either, don't hide your feelings just to keep him...tell him you know about the text messages, he may go nuts but at least he will know that you know...demand an explanation, don't be soft with him, be firm and get some answers, you have a baby together who will pick up on stuff, so be very aware that this could be the end of your relationship....and if i wee you i would move on and let him free, if he is not happy with you as you are...don't waste time trying to be the person he wants you to be...be yourself...open your mouth and tell him you are unhappy...if he wont listen ask him to move out and give you some space...you don't have a problem with him seeing your baby, you need to sort your life out, it's like your doing everything you can to keep him, maybe your smothering him....
2006-10-08 11:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously it's not if he's stil doing all this stuff! If he keeps doing this to you put your foot down and keep it moving! You don't want to be in a relationship with a person and they don't respect you. Tell him what the deal is and go from there! If he's just playing with you he'll just toy around! Let him see his son and move on. When you break up don't let him know anything that your doing. If it has nothing to do with his child, it has nothing to do with him! Thats teh only way he will know you really mean it! It Works!
2006-10-08 11:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Black Betty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my g/f and i split in may after 2 years together. not because we were falling out or other folk involved but purely because she didnt want the relationship to move any further forward where as i wanted her to move in and start settling down etc. we kind of drifted further apart and then made the decision.
you know in your heart when its time but its making that decision to break thats so hard. i can sympathise. only you know if its worth carrying on or not, and the prospect of single life can be enough to make some stay in a not overly great relationship. i would say be strong for you n the kids an make the break
2006-10-08 11:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what you want. if you want to live the rest of your life waiting and wondering when you are going to catch him cheating again, keep on like you have been. apparently you dont want that because you wouldnt be checking his email and his phone if you trusted him.
the foundation for a good relationship is trush and friendship. those are the two things that make a relationship last. good sex is just icing on the cake.
picture yourself in 5 years or 10. do you still want to do what you are doing now? how is your son going to feel about his dad when you dont trust his dad?
sounds to me that you need to do some serious thinking about where you are going and what you want out of life.
2006-10-08 17:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! i went thru almost the same thing!! my son is two :) and your answer is NO do not put yourself down be strong gurl...if you ignore it you will eventually blow up (i did) AND your sweet lil boy will grow up thinking that its ok to treat women like that!! my dad cheated on my mom and i found out when i was prolly like 14 and i let guys treat me like crap...it is the oppiste for boys belive me u need a man who will challenge you and treat you like a queen!! and who will have enough respect for your son to be a strong role model so that he dosent end up that way!! belive me you will feel so much better if you leave. Dont put your son or yourself thru heartache if it is not necassary...you are the only person to make decions for him nobody else...:) good luck!!!
2006-10-08 11:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at what it is that you want, not so much in what he wants. His words may say that he wishes you to stay, but his actions don't support that. If you are happy being 2nd, 3rd, or 4th choice, then stay, if not then perhaps for you, it is time to move on. Don't stay just for the baby. Children know when things are not right.
2006-10-08 11:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the way it is;
You have grown up! He has not!
Stop chasing after him. It is over.
Now is the time to spend with your son.
You will find another man. A lot of guys LOVE women with chidren. Even if the child is not theirs.
PS we guys love to raise children as our own - ONCE THEY are past the age of 3-4. We cannot stand that whinney child age.
2006-10-08 11:12:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋