I'm a 24 yr old Dad who has a 2 yr old son, who i've had on a Wednesday&Sunday, without fail, since birth.

Question

His mum has now stopped me from seeing him because I refused to have him overnight at short notice, juut so she could "go out with the girls, of a friday night!" I went to pick him up this morning and she said, "I am not allowed to have him". Does she have the right to do this? If not, what can i do next?

Answer 1

I have exactly the same problem with our 6 yrs stepdaughter. We also have a 2 yr old daughter. If you were there a the registration, you have equal parental rights. Any probs E-mail me.

Answer 2

If you were married when the baby was born you have equal parentla responsibility. If you married since and legitimised the baby the case is the same. Legally the child has the right to both parents. Litigation is one way to resolve this, family mediation services (which you will probably have to do anyway) is better since agreement between the parents more often leads to a sustainable and amicable arrangement.

There is bias in the system towards resident mothers, so you need to be a 'squeaky clean' father if you ask the court to let the child permanently reside with you.

She does not have the right to deny you contact.

Answer 3

I'm guessing you're in the UK, since you say Mum, but here in the US that is absolutely not allowed. The courts dictate when you can see your child, not the whim of the mother.

You could call the police, which will solve the problem temporarily until you get to court and get visitation rights in writing. But as his dad, it seems like you should be happy and willing to take him overnight on short notice unless you're out of town or something, regardless of what it's for.

Answer 4

To be honest your rights all depend on whether or not you were/are married to his mum and whether or not you are on the birth certificate. You still have rights either way but can be more difficult if your answer is no the the above questions. Either way if she persists in not letting you see your son you need to contact a solicitor and your case may have to be brought to Court. I see no reason why you will not get joint access. You have been a good dad and have had him two days every week. You should contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau for more information. I think she will probably simmer down soon and realise it is your son that will suffer the most and things will get back to normal. Good luck

Answer 5

If your name is on your son's birth certificate, and he was born after December 2001 then you have joint parental responsibility with the mother. So this means you are entitled to see your son, I keep a diary of when my daughters father tries to make contact (as these instances are few and far between) I think you should do the same, especially if the mother is asking you at short notice or changing your visiting days of when you can see your child. you can get more information from citizens advice or a family lawyer (the first meeting is usually free). Good luck

Answer 6

Go and see a family solicitor (look in your local yellow pages) usually the first appointment is free. However, from experience it might be better to give it a bit of time and see if things settle down without going down the legal route as this can become expensive! I expect she will want you to look after your son again once she's calmed down. You could apply to the Court for a Contact order but again, this can be expensive and might upset her even more.

Answer 7

If this is true (forgive me for being suspicious - I'm the exwife whose husband never turned up when he said he would) then your expartner is playing mind games with your son and could harm the boy's self esteem.
It might do to quietly try and speak to her, without ranting and raving, and put your side across. If she isn't interested in listening, then you have no choice but to seek professional help from a lawyer.
Please think twice before you stop maintenance payments, just to make a point. My brother almost landed in jail for this reason.
It always amazes me how selfish people are when they use their kids to score points. Men and women. It's no wonder the kids in this country are so crazy. I'm sorry that you're going through this and I hope it works out;

Answer 8

Apart from this cheating your son out of a good working relationship with his Dad, I think this is very cruel, do you pay child maintenance, if you do - then No, she most certainly cannot do this, do you have good relationships with others in your sons life, maybe some friend or member of the family might help her to see seance, before it goes too far, you could take her to court, but best avoid it if possible, makes life easier for all concerned of course. Good luck!!!

Answer 9

She does not have the right to keep you away from your son, unless she has a court order that says so. Get a good lawyer (female preferably) and have this sort out if she wont change her mind. Unfortunately some women think just because they gave birth they alone have rights over the children .....

Answer 10

definately not! It seems like you have always tried to do your best for your child, which is more than a lot of men your age can say. Make an appointment with a solicitor asap. It might end up in court but if it means you remain in contact with your child it will be well worth it. All the Best.

Answer 11

In the UK, If you were not married then all the rights belong to the mother, unless you have shared parental responsibility since birth or a Court has ordered shared responsibility.

The fact that you have visited your child since birth stands you in good light for a shared responsibility order. Go and talk to your local citizens advice.