How many people out there sometimes feel like they may never find the one & how do you deal with that ??

Question

I hate the dating scene and feel like I am looking in a million
faces to find love yet at the same time, if I don't I won't be
happy being lonely and without someone either. I am
separated and going thru a divorce and now I am in my young 40's and finding someone that I want and that wants me
is not easy and sometimes depressing. Do people just
come to the realization in thie mind they may never find
that one again???

Answer 1

stop moping about , and just enjoy ur life,, u only live one time, so dont waste it.. if it happens it will happen, if not , thats life..
move on.
And as ur still going through a divorce, u cant have been single for very long,, so whats the rush... enjoy being single....

Answer 2

I wouldn't even bother looking for "the love of your life" right now, as it sounds you're still very hurt over your current situation. Nobody wants to be with someone who is feeling low--that's not the right place to start. Once you're done grieving your failed marriage, figure out what it is you really want out of a mate, and start from there.

I just finally met my true love at 36, so I know how crappy the dating scene is once you pass 30, but there is a woman out there telling her friends, I don't get it, I'm nice, I have a good job, I think I look pretty good, and where is a nice guy for me? Maybe she is recently divorced or maybe she never found you, but there are women out there.

I did meet my guy through eHarmony, and although some people are reluctant to try things like that, I thank God for it, because I know I would never have met my guy without them. Stop looking in bars-that's not the answer. What do you do? Try an associate from your line of work--like if you're an ambulance driver, maybe there's an ER nurse you think seems nice, or if you go to church, you could meet someone there, or if you like building things, join Habitat for Humanity--do the things you like, and the people you meet at these places will automatically have things in common with you--it's a place to start. Be friendly, even if you aren't normally outgoing! If you are friendly with the people you meet, you never know what can come of that...good luck.

Answer 3

Got to keep playing the field. Try to meet quality people via friends and family. Speak up if you see that person that sparks your interest. Some online dating services are not bad either.

It seems like a thankless and never ending journey, but we are not in our teens anymore and I think those feelings tend to kick in with a vengeance when we are younger. I know plenty of people that are happily married for the 2nd time in their latter years. It certainly is not worth being depressed about.

I have been divorced since 1997. Have not found the "love of my life" yet; or wait: Wasn't that the one I married originally? After you have divorced once, I think you just come with more baggage, emotional and otherwise.

Keep at it.......what else can you do?

Answer 4

First of all forget dating, for datings sake, it don't work. Only date a person that seems fateful, is already somewhat known to you, matches your profile. Do what YOU love, hobby, volunteer, explore new interests you've wondered about, get new interests and learn, don't discount people just because they are different (city vs farm or educated vs high school only or not as well to do as you want or racially or anything else) Don't waste time trying to make something out of someone, if you can't love them for what and who they are move on. I wish I could find a good girl too, it's lonely out here, but I rushed into two relationships after my divorce only to discover I have a lot of wising up to do. What a waste of time to rush and try to fill a void over and over. Doesn't anyone out there want to be real anymore?!

Answer 5

You will definitely Be patient .You also need to socialize , be a bit more open and compromise .

Another way of looking at it is are you really losing something?.Are you not doing good with your current circumstances?Isnt life pleasant now that there are lesser responsibilities,more freedom.?There are various colors to lfe and just marriage and ....is not what you always need.Satisfaction and joy in any small thing that you do is important.Life moves faster if you are occupied And you always have few like minded people around.This is what you need to realize.Rather than coming to a conclusion have presence of mind ..Both the ways you will be at gain if you look at in a detached manner . You will definitely find the right one....

Answer 6

Just accept that everything is as it should be at any given moment.
If it is in the universal plan, or God's plan, he will bring before you the person who you are to be with.
I had a marriage that bored me to death, left my husband for a young handsome (and later found out to be a alcoholic) man who I have suffered with off and on for nine years. I wondered why God placed me here in this position, but have come to accept that it may be my karma for betraying my husband, or maybe my boyfriend's children needed me in their life.
Anyway, I have accepted that everything is as it should be and there is a larger plan.
Last Friday night when I was driving past restaurants all filled with cars and tables full of joyful couples, trying to figure out where to go for dinner alone, I realized that at this point I really did want to be alone, had dinner and went home.
I sometimes go to a club. When I hear a song I like, I get up and dance. Invariably a man will enter the dance floor and ask if he can dance with me or men may gather to watch.
At this point I do not care what anyone thinks of me. I want to have fun and manage to alone, or with someone .
Prince Charming will one day appear if it is in Gods plan.

Answer 7

You're going through a difficult time, I empathize with you. However, during your separation and before your divorce is final, you may want to ask yourself several questions before moving into another relationship.

Try to define what is important to you in a relationship and what type of person you are looking for. What type of person are you?Why is it important for you to be in a relationship when your divorce isn't final? Can you be happy with yourself or are you relying on finding someone to make you happy?

Those are just a few of the questions you could be considering and in the interim, learn more about yourself, your likes, dislikes, what's important to you and realize that... it's ok to be single, it's ok to explore and it's certainly ok to be alone. As your confidence grows and your self-respect increases... you may see things in a different light, you'll be a stronger woman, self-confident and ready to receive and give.

Answer 8

First off, here's a big *HUG*... Second, yeah, I think you'll find someone again. I think the trick is to stop looking. Sounds bizarre, but I swear it works. If you're actively looking, then it sends off a certain vibe. If you're happy with just you, then you send off a different vibe... kind of cool and confident. People like that. No one wants the pressure of being the "one"... or being looked at to see if they are the "one"... People just want to be with fun, happy, well-adjusted people. Focus on being happy with yourself and then when you're least expecting it, someone will appear. Just have fun with your life and don't put pressure on yourself.
Third, sorry about the divorce, I hope it's for the best. Live your life to the fullest and be happy.

Answer 9

Once you have fell in love, you will never be the same. Once you know how to love and be loved, you will never be the same. And when love fails, you will keep on searching for it, coz , love really makes the world go round! i've been in a similar situation, but not a divorce, just a break up... but it sure did broke my heart into a million pieces.... it's not really easy to find someone to love and who will love you back in return, but don't lose hope instead pray for it. and don't look too far and too hard, you might be missing something. just be open to all possibilities.

Answer 10

Be happy that so many people gave you good answers! Ignore Formut32; he's a wanker; and i put that on one of his questions. Know the feeling you're going through; and i must say it's difficult. Surround yourself with friends; and dont LOOK for someone! If a special person happens to cross your path... great; if not... find a hobby and do new things that you never thought you would or could; but stay interesting!

Answer 11

i'm splitting up with my hubby...we can only lawfully do so as from next year april, because thats our paper anniversary, can u believe it, if it wasnt for the law, we never would have had a one year anniversary.
we married in all honesty, at least i did, hoping things would work out, but also to beat loneliness and out of fear of being alone and out hunting for a soul mate. i probably should've looked for 100% convinced state of mind...anyway, 2 late for wondering about the shouldnt have's and the should've's...
i'm 35, want kids (he thinks we ought not to but i'm so near frantic what with having 2 wait for a divorce for nearly half a year, that i've suggested it to him) he must think i'm a nutter, i'm not at all.
i'm usually very level-headed, educated, and do volunteer work and i know my heart's in the right place...he's so different although he has a good heart too,he smokes, stays up till 4/5 every morning, occasionally smokes a spliff when he is too pressured, swears and can be vile...how did i manage to screw up so grandiosely?? not a day goes by without me asking myself this.