WHy do I feel so bad --- I feel that I didn't do my absolute best for her, after 10 1/2 years with her, I feel like I took th easy way out. Surgery was an option, but not a good option, poor prognosis and alot of associated pain, medication etc. If I had only been smarter, I might have linked the symptoms over the years together into what the true problem was. Funnny, though, I donn't blame the veterinarian ... it was hard to diagnose, and when it was, it was too late. She was suffering and now I am.
2006-10-08 02:36:30 · 23 answers · asked by pingber 1 in Pets ➔ Dogs
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
2006-10-08 02:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by tom l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You feel so badly because you spent a long time with a good friend and now that friend is gone. If surgery was not a good option then you made the right choice. It would not have been any easier to watch your friend be in horrible pain and perhaps never recover from it. Or even worse, never make it out of surgery and then you would not have been able to say goodbye.
Last year, my dog battled a horrible disease for a month and then I had to put him down. I blamed myself. I should have caught his symptoms sooner, I should have somehow known. There is no way to know. The blame game is part of grieving. You are going to hurt for a while and it sucks. In a way I was lucky that I had another dog at the time to turn to when I was feeling really really bad. She made it a little better.
Day by day, the pain will ease and your memories will become more happy and will not make you hurt every time you think of her. I know words are small comfort in the face of something this heartbreaking. I know, I have been there. I can remember every ounce of pain I went through and the one year anniversary of his death I re-lived it again. But it does get better. There are on line support groups for people grieving the loss of their pets if you are so inclined to talk about it.
I have two dogs again to fill my home but three always fill my heart.
Best wishes and blessings upon you...
Lisa
2006-10-08 02:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by gpiglady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing how our pets can become such a part of our lives, and how deep the grief can be. We had to put our dog down at 15 1/2 years...and I keep thinking if only I had kept him on that special diet, rather than taking the 'easy way' out and putting him back on senior dog food, maybe he would have lived longer. The thing of it is hind sight is 20/20. If the vet didn't pick up on the symptoms, certainly you shouldn't blame yourself! And just because you didn't opt for surgery and medications doesn't mean you made the 'wrong' choice. It sounds to me as if she had a wonderful home, and a good life. You made the most difficult decison we can make for our pets, to let her go so that she wouldn't suffer. The pain of her loss will ease with time. So will the guilt. Just hold to the good memories, and remember what a wonderful addition she was to your life while she was able to be with you.
2006-10-08 02:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by hrprrbn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't hindsight wonderful? Yes, there are what if's but the truth of the matter is, you can't go back and change it, so there is no point in kicking yourself over it now. It is what it is. You did your best with the information at the time. Keep that in mind. From what you say, it was difficult to say what was wrong and decisions were made with the information available at the time. It is hard but sometimes we have to sit back and take a look at the quality of life. Make a decision from there and it would seem this is exactly what you did. You did the right thing! You did what was best for a pet you dearly loved. You made an educated compassionate decision. Good for you. Hold on to your good memories, cherish them. I know it is a cliche but time will help, just remember you did the right thing.
Good luck
c
2006-10-08 03:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by anniesgran 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would think that putting her to sleep was the best choice because if she was suffering then i wouldn't want her to have to suffer through it either. Even tho surgery was a option i think that you mad a good choice i think it is more that you miss her. 10 1/2 years is a long time to have a good dog. and after 10 1/2 years you are so use to having her around when my rabbit died 2 years ago on Christmas i still go to petco and look for rabbit food then forgetting that i do not have a rabbit anymore. i think it is also better then having her die suffering in pain and maybe you not being there at least you were there in her last hours and you were telling her that she was good and things like that instead of coming home and finding her dead in the kitchen. Best of wishes i would consider putting her to sleep was the best decision
2006-10-08 02:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by BarrelBomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to feel guilty, you're not a vet, how could you diagnose what the problem was if they consider it difficult to figure out. This was the best thing to do for your pet, she would have suffered pain and still not have been healthy if you had decided on the surgery. It's ok to feel grief, a pet is a member of the family, she was with you for over 10 years. It will get easier as time goes on. I'm sorry for your loss.
2006-10-08 02:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself or feel like you have done something wrong. 10 1/2 years of a good happy life is good. You did the right thing she is not suffering and you will grieve they are our best friends and kids. I have five dogs and two cats. I don't know what i would do without them but i have had to make that decision alot. I keep pictures and remember the cute funny things that previous animals did. Just keep this in mind she is completely healthy and always well taken care of now. You do not have to worry about her you know she is always going To be happy and can see you. I hope this helps.
2006-10-08 02:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by pookymonky 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, the dog was suffering, it would have been totally selfish to have the surgery and a poor prognosis and have the dog experience even more pain. I had to do the same thing with my beloved poodle, I brought him from Europe to America and he had been with me and my family every place we moved too, my husband was in the Army. It was a horrible experience and I cried for days, but the dog had tumors and was suffering, it was the only decent thing to do. I know I did the right thing for my dog. So, please don't question your decision, you did the right thing, you loved your dog and you put the dogs needs before your own. You are a good and loving person.
2006-10-08 03:05:11 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you have lost your dog. I recently had to have my dog put to sleep. The is NORMAL to blame yourself and feel awful guilt that that will pass. The fact that you are still going over events just shows how much you loved your dog. Your dogs time would have come but you should take comfort from the fact that I'm sure she had a very good life with you. You had her put to sleep which is a terrible decision to make...you knew it would break your heart...but you did it BECAUSE you loved her.
At the very end it was YOU who saved her further suffering. I hope the hurting will in time ease for you as it has for me. Best wishes.
2006-10-08 06:21:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to put my dog to rest this past March. It was very hard! I had him cremated and he now sits on my shelf with a couple pictures of him. I felt horable when I had it done but he had a heart condition that could have been treated with medication, however finacially I could not afford the costs of it all! I was buying it at first and when I just couldnt do it anymore He started bloating and was kind of in his own world, he didn't enjoy being around the family any more I knew it was time. I know he went to a better place and that hes young at heart again! I still miss him and I still find myself hollaring out to him. Its a little easier now but it sure did hurt to do it! Good luck!
2006-10-08 03:02:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋