Okay In the summer time. My mom had a huge argument with my sister. My sister kept telling my mom that she hated her for a very long time, and she continued to yell outside that she abuses my brother who's handicapped. That is so not true, because I live with my mom and my brother, and I do not see any of this happening. This morning, my mom showed me a letter that my sister wrote to my grandmother *my mom's mom*. She kept talking about how we are always calling her son (he lives with us) that he's a lazy, bum and that he doesnt pay rent. WHICH HE DOESNT! My mom gives him money for his pocket, more than she has for her ownself. And she even said that I do not do anything, and that I don't care for my brother. Please! When I'm in school and the kids call the other people retarded, I tell them to stop, because that word is very sensitive. I love my brother so much, and I always help my mom when she goes to the Rehabilition center for him. She even says I'm abusive, how I'm just a kid.
2006-10-08 02:07:09 · 11 answers · asked by Danyizzle 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mom's crying right now..
2006-10-08 02:15:13 · update #1
Talk to mom. Tell her you would be more comfortable if there was a plan that helped your sister's son gain some independence. Let her know it bothers you that your sister is unappreciative and disrespectful to your mom in her own house. Ask her to ask the young man to find a job so that he can take the steps to become independent. This conversation regarding the job should include a timeline and a specific rent amount. "Bob, I need you to be working by the beginning of next month. I expect $10.00 (however much) from every paycheck from you for rent." Then when the date rolls around, mom can keep her pocket money and what he does is up to him. Kindly make this statement to him. "Hon, come November 1st, you'll be responsible for your own pocket money, Ok?"
Write down anything you want to say to her in notes. Have these notes with you when you talk. Time to make a plan. Try to look at the situation as if it was not you. Objectively and calmly. What would you suggest if this was your best friend's family?
Also, when you and mom have conversation with sister it is important that you respond to her. Don't react. Respond. Take a deep breath, think about what you want to say, and speak to her as if she was your friend. This teaches respect. Then when she starts the abuse just look at her and say, "Sis, we don't speak to you like that, ....why would you speak to us that way?' and she'll have to think about it.
Next time she is outside yelling call the police, or make arrangements to have the neighbor call the police, and have her removed from the property. Gently. Firmly. Her behavior is simply not appropriate and the whole neighborhood does not need to hear her grief.
Dont' expect things to change overnight. Eventually family will begin to understand what you are teaching.
Your mother is tired and disrespected. She is hard working and dedicated to her children, all of them. Tell her you see this and want to see her treated with respect. She may have some input as to how to deal with this. Just find the path. Together. Then teach the family how things are going to be. Teachers are kind, and gentle, and firm in their resolve. You and your mom need to be the Teacher.
You are very wise to seek out a solution for this. When you are brainstorming do consider Plan A, Plan B, Plan C. Just keep coming up with solutions until you find one that works. then....Be the Teacher.
2006-10-08 02:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure how i can help, but ill try, my family is a bit disfunctional as well, not as bad but it has its moment, i guess the question you really need to ask yourself is wha is best for you? Would you brother be okay if you weren't there, like i mean is your mom dependant on your help? Because if not you can always live with another family member and be the person who can make a difference by getting a good education and trying to either create an organisation to help people like your brother or even try to find a cure. About your sister, it seems that she is really just feeling left out, i mean so much emphasis is on your brother and uncle that i guess she just wants to be noticed she wants to seek attention and goes for any kind even if its bad, when she matures, she will realise what she has done, but for now just try to make her feel special, and if that doesnt work just make her feel bad about it. Hope it helps.
2006-10-08 02:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by beanie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly while usa in a house with family individuals problems as a youngster it makes issues tougher to handle. and if the teen already has a drug situation then issues will prob in simple terms worsen. the family individuals is prob too soak up of their very own problems to observe that there teen is on drugs. the teen would possibly not get the help or interest she desires and can run away, initiate utilising even worse drugs,cutt, all varieties of terrible issues. If u are the teen then u ought to consult ur mum and dad approximately ur situation no count whats happening at domicile and if u are the mummy and dad then u ought to make that u are in contact in ur childrens existence and understand whats happening
2016-11-27 00:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is best to cut people out of your life [even family members] for your own peace of mind! It takes some people longer to grow up than others, your sister has issues and it may take till she's 30 to appreciate her family. You don't have to keep poison in your life, I disowned my brothers family for a year, everything works out when people realize you won't live like that!
2006-10-08 02:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by plgbw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, my advice to you is to tell your mom how hard it is for you and show her that you do as much as you can for a girl that is still in school. Show her you do love and care for your brother. I am also just a teen in highschool, so I don't know what kind of advice to give, but if you have a counciler at your school and you feel comfertable talking to them, then let them know and see if they have any advice for you. Well good luck, Nikki
2006-10-08 02:13:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let your sister think what she wants to the most important thing is that u know it is not true tell your sister to get lost do what u have been doing help your mum and hang out with your brother u get one chance at life so make the most of it and enjoy it
2006-10-08 02:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by spud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your sister is being mean to your family. She's obviously going through something that shouldn't involve you. You sound like your just a kid and don't need this in your life. Just try to stay out of it, even though she put you in it. She'll wise up someday. Just try to keep your head up and know that it's her problem, not yours.
2006-10-08 02:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by toobusy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your doing great helping your mum, don't worry people will see through your sister
2006-10-08 02:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to have these issues at home. Try helping out at home to build better relationships with your family.
2006-10-08 02:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know how to help you, but i do think your sister is insane and i wish i could comfort you and your mom
2006-10-08 02:10:25 · answer #10 · answered by chikka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋