Sucidal g/f please help, anything you have to say is good, I want to break up with her w/out her killin herslf

Question

I have known this girl litterely all my life and our family's are close to the point were we have dinners at my g/f aunt and grandma's house once a week. g/f's mom is idk how to say it but crazy, the mom is playing mental games and like brainwashing g/f into thinking that she is the worst person on earth, i know how crazed this must sound but i am tottally serous and her family has nearly dis owned her and almost never talk about her, Her grandma never talks about her and calls me her grandson. I found out that g/f has been cutting herself and her sister is caught in the middle of this, her sister (year yonger) likes me but i'm tryin to help my g/f out with her life as it all falls, and i'm affraid that she is sucidal, i can't tell anyone otherwise my and her family will crucifi me for it but at the same time i don't want her to go over the deep end. I'm 15 and she is 16. I'm caught in the midle of this fight wile our familys are supose to put up a fake smile, deal with it pls help

I don't want to go out with her sister, i just want out of their family all togather.

i didn't think to add this earlier until you most mentioned school, but she is home schooled and in the middle of the country so she can't really connect with anyone. She has been home schooled for about 3 or 4 years now, im not sure why her mom pulled her out of school.

Answer 1

If someone is bent on killing themselves, they will do it. There is no soft way to break up with another person, feelings are going to be hurt. Just do it, and get it over with quickly.

Answer 2

If talking to her family is fruitless, and actually makes the problems for her worse, you need to contact another adult and tell them about your girlfriend and her sister (and any other siblings.) These kids aren't being cared for properly at this time. It is neglect to emotionally abuse a child, for any reason, and to allow them to continue having psychological issues without treatment. It's a good thing someone tells about it now instead of when she tries to go away to college as a legal adult. She can learn coping skills and all that, learn how not to need the family for any reason.

Apparently your family doesn't encourage you to do the right thing, so go to a teacher and tell them the family might say they'll help but won't. The teacher is obligated to go through a chain of people to see she gets help and if it doesn't happen, someone (last person in chain who drops the ball) can be sued in this day and age.

You, after doing this, and seeing she is actively being helped, can then officially break up. Before then, no kissing or anything.

:*:

After what you added: Call CPS then since the family took care not to be known to anyone else and are still not doing their duties for their children. When one child is being neglected that way, they all are in danger. That's why I mentioned the siblings. Get an adult to do the calling or maybe they'll have a better idea besides that...but you seem to be the only one willing to help and you COULD just break up, but you're trying to make sure a bad situation with another kid doesn't get worse. Unlike some people who just leave and don't care.

Answer 3

I tell ya, kiddo, there is no good answer for this. There's no perfect plan or right decision. There's good outcomes and bad outcomes, but there are little ..issues along the way, regardless.
Of course, we hope for the best, so ..best of luck.
On good faith, I'm going to assume that your question isn't fraudulent, ..though, admittedly, you have an interesting recent history of questions asked, for this to come up. In any case, you have my sympathy if this is something with which you have to deal.

1) It's a serious issue. I guarantee you that doing nothing will haunt you for a good while, if things turn out badly. If you don't have the courage to do what's necessary right now, you're either going to have to find said courage, or you're going to have to act, regardless of your lack of courage.

2) One course of action is to ..move in, so to speak. Advance on the issue. Bring it up; don't let her shy away from it either. Express your desire to have her alive, ..that you would miss her. If you have examples of other people who would honestly miss her, ..mention those as well. If you have examples of good times and good experiences, mention them specifically.
Keep in mind, if you judge that she's at a ..breaking point so to speak, and is so volatile that mention of the topic of suicide could actually push her to it, then ...obviously, don't mention it, and go ahead and call the police.. and don't waste time about it if you think it's serious.
If at all possible, if you are going to talk to her about it, try not to make it at school (she'll be more prone to ..not opening up to you at all, etc.. will shrink away and possibly become unreacheable, due to the vulnerability of the entire school around her and possibly finding out) ..and do NOT talk to her about it on the phone, if at all possible... try to make sure it's face to face. ..of the group of people who do feel like suicide is their option, there's only like 0.001% who would ever go through with it in front of someone else, let alone someone who cares about them.

3) If the situation calls for it, ..make a damn scene. The chances of her being able to commit suicide are less if more people near to her know about it.
..There's merit, also, to being covert about it. Talk to a guidance counselor at school that you know this is the case. Get advice from them (ignore the dating issue if you feel like it..) ..ask the counselor about bringing her in and sitting with her while the three of you work it out. Possibly ask the counselor about notifying the police or a hotline of some sorts.


Life and death, my friend ...make sure she knows that.
Remind her that ..at 16, she's got so much ahead of her that can improve. ..Whether it's by her own hard work (possibly resulting in moving out from home, when she's older), or by asking for and getting help.
Don't let her take it lightly, either. Suicide is something that's usually done on an impulse, when it should be something that the person should think about a hell of a lot... after all, it would indeed be the very last thing they could do or think about... some forget that. And some forget how whimsical life is.


After putting her in a situation of being helped (especially by counselors/therapy/meds or whatever else), you can bow out of the relationship with much less guilt. It is indeed a lot to deal with ..few, if any, people on this planet would be able to handle it, especially at 15.
Grow up strong; live fully yourself.

As I said, best of luck

Answer 4

You need to remove yourself from this situation as soon as possible as it is an absolute mess. You need to make sure that your girlfriends family is aware of the cutting because she obviously needs some psychological help. If the family is not willing to help, your girlfriend needs to seek help for herself by talking to a trusted adult such as a teacher or counselor. She does not need a boyfriend at this point, but a caring supportive friend that she can count on when needed.

Answer 5

If she is cutting herself, this is a good indication that her problems are real and she needs help.

Since the parents havent dealt with it, and I have little faith in
ministers and suchlike, perhaps you could discuss it will your
counselor at the school, or call the appropriate social services
worker in your town.

She needs help. Resist the urge to deal her another emotional trauma until you see that her primary problem is being satisfactorily handled.

Answer 6

well it seems that you are the only rational thinking person in the circle,so you will have to step up and call the suicide hot line in your area.they have help waiting anytime of the day or nite.everyone's hiding what's going on and in the mean time children are un helped and unprotected.if you don't make the call someone may die.

Answer 7

have you ever thought of listing her into a mentall instatution if you can get her famlies consent(signatures) it may work ive heard of ppl doing that you dont need your g/fs permission just get a paper stating that the mom feels that her daughter should be put in the instute get the mom to sign it if the daughter doesnt wanna goyou could show the paper to som1 like(a judje)an she can be forced in the institute

Answer 8

go to her parents, school counxelers, clergy, friends, siblings, aunts, uncles, school police, crisis intervention hot lines.and let all of them know what is going on and that you want to break up with her , but not see her physically harm herself, and that they need to watch her closely and get her professional medical / psychological help before it is too late.

Answer 9

This sounds pretty bad. Tell your counsler at school. She/He will tell you what and where she could go for help. She'll hate you for it cause they will call her in to their office but in the it is for the best.

Answer 10

NO ONE is responsible for another person's decision to commit suicide. This is a toxic relationship and if you want out, get out before it affects and infects who you are.