My boyfriend and I had an unexpected pregnancy and I decided I was going to keep my baby.I am now 4 months pregnant. At first he was going to stick around and said we'd move in together and then he started speaking to his friends and older brother. That's when he was told to move out of the state, hide like a coward, never see the baby, not pay child support, and pretend the whole thing never happened. Now he wants to move back to his home state and hide.This is not a paternity issue he knows the baby is his. If he doesn't want to be involved (I think it's wrong) then so be it, but doesn't his family (particularly the grandparents) have a right to know and decide for themselves if they want to be involved? Should I take it upon myself to tell his family if he doesn't decide to at least do that? I'm furious that he thinks he can just pretend the whole thing never happened and he will never have to see his daughter!
2006-10-07 23:15:27 · 20 answers · asked by Christina K. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Not to mention that he HAS to help support the child financially; this is his legal obligation under the law. This is probably what he's hiding from. Immature jerk. His parents need to know that he has this obligation; maybe they can slap some sense into him.
2006-10-07 23:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by CrankyYankee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, id definately tell them. how u do that, depends on ur relationship with them. hopefully, they are supportive, and become very loving members of ur little babys life.
as for ur babys father - hes an idiot for sure, but give him some time. it sounds like he was up for doing the right thing at the beginning - so he doesnt sound like a complete waste of oxygen. our friends and siblings have an incredible amount of sway over our actions for awhile - and if they r saying - no no - run run, and he is already a bit scared (unexpected and planned pregnancies do that to the hardiest of future parents!) - then he would listen to them. of course he cant pretend the whole thing didnt happen, u cant wish away a person, but for ur babies sake, remain open to him coming back (not necessarily as a boyfriend either) and being a father to ur baby. and dont let him not pay child support - other than the financial responsibilty, this child needs to feel that her father supported her in some way.
good luck with everything - u sound like the type of chick who will do just fine with ur life! lucky baby!
2006-10-08 00:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by bettie b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they should definitely be told.
With that being said, timing is everything.
Right now you are hurt that the "man" you thought you loved turned out to be a boy,and a spineless coward of a boy at that.
You have every reason to be angry.
Make sure that when you talk to your baby's grandparents you are not angry.
You won't mean it to, but when said in anger is sounds terribly like a child tatteling.
They may think that you are asking them to make their kid grow up or to take on the responsibility themselves.
You know that is not what you mean, but you never know how they will take it.
Be calm, be specific - you are invited to participate in your grandchilds life.
Good luck.
2006-10-08 06:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by Freeadviceisworthwhatyoupayfor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't go that route because they already know.
This dolt does not want to take any responsibility for this child.
Although you may not want his help, you need to take him to court and get child support payments from him after the child is born if he decides not to pay.
Concentrate on taking care of you so that you will have a healthy baby. Rely on the support and encouragement of your family and friends. Forget about him. Your soon to arrive child is your priority now.
2006-10-08 01:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutly would tell his parents. Let them know you expect nothing from them but tell them if it was you who was about to get a grandchild you would want to know. Then leave it up to them. If my sons(he is only 7 but in the future) girlfriend was pregnant then with out a doubt i would want to know and be involved in my grandchilds life. I would kick my sons butt and make him take responsibility and do all i can to help and to see my flesh and blood. Good luck to you.
2006-10-07 23:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the grandparents would have every right to know that they have a grandchild, regardless of the bozo who fathered it. And make sure you go after the bozo for child support! He helped make it and he should help feed and clothe it.
2006-10-07 23:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by xeuvisoft 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take it upon your self too tell the grandparents about your baby he isn't being man enough too do it. and they cant help what their son does. but, if they are like most other grandparents they would be happy that you had the descents too let them know. and who knows it might be the best thing you could do for the baby.
2006-10-08 00:08:10 · answer #7 · answered by Ozark American 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh dear, dai ja vu! all the way with you on this one girl.
Although its hard to start with, your feelings of abandonment, anger, distress just to mention a few, and the fear of becoming a lone parent are your issues that you have to deal with, as how you feel can affect your unborn.
Sort yourself out first, you and your unborn are first priority. you will think you have come to terms with this, but think again because the reality really hits you the moment you set eyes on your baby. You need as much support as you can get now, and even more once your child is born. not just support in the ways of telling you how things are done, but emotional support.
i thought had come to terms early on that i was doing it alone, but it wasnt until i was at home alone with my son that it hit me. My son is now six and a very happy contented little boy, but i still remember how i felt when reality kicked in, heart breaking and very upsetting of how his father (being polite now) could do this to such an innocent. i wont lie to you, it isnt easy when that feeling kicks in.
Just as your parents know about the pregnancy, his parents should know too, they have just as much right. the role they choose to take is completely up to them and not you, you cannot force them to take part in your childs life. Your parents will accept the situation and concentrate on you, their daughter and their grandchild.
As for your 'ex' boyfriend, let me assure you he cannot just forget about the pregnancy, why men seem to think 'out of sight, out of mind' i honestly dont know! he'll see babies and children everywhere and will be thinking about you and yours. Let him hide, keep out of the way and deny what is his, but it catches up with him later.
Include those who have a right to know, grandparents, aunties, uncles etc, as it will be your child that misses out if you choose not to include them.......leave your ex to face the consequences of keeping his mouth shut and thinking hes clever.
good luck, you can do it. enjoy your pregnancy and child.
2006-10-07 23:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by nikxnakx2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You bet the grandparents should know. Yes,it's up to them to want to be involved in the baby's life.
2006-10-07 23:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok in basic terms pass along with your instincts in this, mom is familiar with maximum suitable ! in my view i could write them a letter, of all of what you suggested above to us, she needless to say has a situation with YOU ! As to me curiously like she has a situation with you and it truly is effecting the youngster, i could say to her/him; i'm the mummy on your grandchild, i've got faith as in case you're very irresponsible for countless the failings you have suggested previously, appropriate to the foodstuff you tried making me provide your grandchild while she is allergic to it, additionally it seems you haven't any longer have been given the time of day on your grandchild yet yet you try to reason issues performing like the in charge grandparent for reporting me to the RSPCA and so on. i could additionally say ' in case you have a situation with me, tell me, do on no account contain my baby or try result my youngster's existence out of it' that could be very infantile and egocentric of you, in case you do no longer desire to be in touch contained in the youngster's existence do no longer, yet do no longer you dare try to make my own baby turn against me by potential of any potential achieveable, If me and my companion make judgements on issues you haven't any longer have been given any say and you will desire to truly help your son and not %. out a typical, yet whether you try this, my baby won't harm with what she would not comprehend, she would be waiting to no longer omit you as see would not comprehend you, I certainly have held back from calling the police given which you're my companions mothers and dads and my daughters grand mothers and dads, yet anymore of this threatening habit then next time i can't hesitate, you the two be an person and be in charge or you do no longer become in touch in any respect because of the fact somethings you have finished and suggested is dropping my have faith for you 2 to ever be in my daughters existence, that isn't me retaining my baby as a weapon, it truly is me retaining my baby !
2016-10-02 01:58:41 · answer #10 · answered by oberlander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋