So, my boyfriend of 5 years decides that he needs to think about if i am the right one for him. we have two children together in which he does not claim or own up to the one I just had. (2005)Anyway, about a month of him and i seperating, he calls me all distraught over some girl. come to find out.. he broke up with me to check it out with her. Now he is telling me he still loves me and that he wants me to wait cause things might not work out. I told him I won't be there and he is confident that i will. Anyway, he is in another city with her at this moment and he gave up his weekend with his daughter to be with her. what shoudld I think? What should I do? wait and see?
2006-10-07 23:04:41 · 14 answers · asked by spiseemami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What is it you that you want to wait and see? And just what if you wait and he comes back to you. Then what?? You just forget and live happily ever after.
Look at the facts. 5yrs together,cant commit , claims one out of his two children, leaves all of you, involved with someone else, throws her in your face,expects you there waiting for him if and when he choose you and (the best one) shows his child he has no time for her, she is not important to him
What do I think? I think you should look at the facts
You and your children deserve more than he has to offer.
Spit in his face. Get your dignity and self respect back.
Take control of your life and live it on your terms.
Make him earn the right to be part of your children's life.
Make it known you find him despicable and not worthy of you.in this life time. There is no room in your life for him.
And I am being nice here. you don't have to be.
Easy way, say nothing and walk away without looking back.
But do the right thing by your children, teach them what you want them to know and believe in.
2006-10-08 00:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you've been getting along without any thinking so far, so let's not dabble with that just yet.
What you should do? Get a good lawyer to get child support and/or paternity tests sorted out.
Wait and see? Sure, if you want to wait and see how much time you can waste on this moron, go right ahead. Just remember that in addition to your own time, you are also wasting your kids' time. By that I mean, you could be out there finding a life partner who would hopefully be a father figure to them as well.
2006-10-07 23:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl... you should never spend your life waiting around on someone who left you for someone else. That is just NOT cool. He's just trying to have his cake & eat it too.... while you're the one sitting there suffering. What makes him so great? What makes him so important? I think you should give him a reality check and tell him that he should've thought things through before he chose someone else over you and your little ones.
Oh, and you should definitely take him to court for child support & paternity testing. He shouldn't have the right to live life scott-free of responsibility while you are being a single mom to his two babies. Like I said... that's just not cool at all!!! Good luck!
2006-10-07 23:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jemmie Vee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no do not wait and see....he did it to you this time and he may do it to you again...you and your daughter deserve better than that...he has a lot of nerve to come to you and complain about his love life with this other girl....how does that make you feel...i knew when my husband went out on me there was nothing sacred left in that relationship...he was a abusive controlling man too...but i would tell him to go somewhere else to lay his troubles there...you loved him you had his children and he does not think you are right for him....what a loser....i hope you think better of yourself and move on...i know also this is not a easy thing to do....because you love him and you want things to work out...but if he truly loved you he could not be doing you this way...but it is your decision and i will be hoping and praying that you and your children will be happy.....
2006-10-07 23:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why r u even questioning this,uumm hey can you wait while i screw this other chick and then if it doesnt work out ill come back....for a little while until i find another one....meanwhile youll always be there so i can just keep this manipulating selfish crap going. guy sounds like a dick and if hes blowin off his daughter for a piece of ***.well hes got to go.hes playin ya like a cheap fiddle run now well you still have a shred of self-esteem left
2006-10-07 23:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by seth s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take some very important steps.
- Get paternity tests asap.
- Schedule an important intellectual conversation about his commitment to staying together and what you both want and see yourselves in 5 years.
- See a Marriage/Couples Councelor. They really help.
2006-10-07 23:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by leaysa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u out of ur mind or a little bit dumb. u should have dump that type of person since. he is no good to u and ur baby. sometimes i wonder y u ladies don't think when it comes to things like this, feel u are blind with love yeah.ok open ur eyes dump him and don't think about him anymore focus on ur children for now maybe a month time get another man for urself.
2006-10-07 23:14:22 · answer #7 · answered by diji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is clearly taking advantage of your love and patience for him.
if you really love him.. i guess you wait?
but i think it's best if you keep your options open. like let him know that you will still be there, as a friend. but in the meantime, dont stop dating and seeing other guys.
girl, you don't live for him! don't let him use you! i'm sure there are guys out there who will love you and your kids as much as him or even more!
2006-10-07 23:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by Angie Pastrami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a loser and you have your shi*t together, similar thing happened to me as well. I was with a guy for 3 years and after three years he decides that he cant be with me becuase I have children from my pervious marriage...fancy that taking three years to work out that you don't want to be a step father...
My opinion, cut him loose, you better off without him.
2006-10-07 23:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bugger him,he dont deserve you,no way you can take him back after being with someone else surely...geeez i wish i could find someone to give me the oppoptunities that these guys get,someone who is prepared to start afamily etc...i cant even find one girl to have a relationship with let alone be in one then leave it for another...i despise men like him they make it so much harder for the genuine guys trying to find a girl,as girls get tired of being hurt,but its not only woman that get burnt so do men...
2006-10-07 23:18:11 · answer #10 · answered by waveboy7675 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋