mother with toddler problems would like help please?

Question

my 2 year old daughter used to be well disciplined
until recently
she has started telling me "no" when i ask her to do something.
she has big tantrums in stores if she doesn't get her way or something she wants.
can you tell me what/if i am doing something wrong??
and what i can do to help change

Answer 1

To have your daughter do this she sees it from some where. when you are in public and she throughs a temper tantrum you simply tell her if you behave through the whole store I will get you a piece of candy.the first temper tantrum you tell her it is not nice your candy will disappear. The second time tell her her candy is gone. Express to her that there is a coner in every store and you will use it.make sure to teach her the wrong choice compared to the right choice and she gets a quarter for doing the right choice for the day. to her a quarter is a piece of gum or a ride at the store. if you can get her to distuingish the right from wrong choice then you are doing good. Every morning explain to her what the wrong choices are foe the day and she will soon catch on and start doing what is right for her not wrong

Answer 2

Well i have a 4,3, and 1 year old the 4 year old did the same things and I just started to explain that tantrums will not work and mommy will not give him anything and I would stick to that!! Rewards for good behavior and gentle punishments for tantrums and disobedience! the 3 year old isn't mine but it doesn't work for her, so it may not work but it's the best I can think of for that age!! It may also be an attention thing or she is imitating what you say to her, try saying that's not a good idea right now instead of NO as an answer to her questions, I know it's hard to remember but It works for our 3 year old she stopped saying NO. No is a negative word and we as parents should be teaching more positive ways to interact with others and our family! I'm not saying we are bad parents I just noticed that at school they teach our children to say, "I don't like it when" and I say that to my children which helps them respond to us and others in a more non-conflicting way! when talk with them they learn to do the same and the tantrums usually stop! Don't ignore the tantrums, you should try coaching them and working with them! The more you ignore them the worse it gets the next time and the more irritated you'll be and the shorter your patience gets!! Try not to yell because that can be as bad as hitting!

Answer 3

Keep being firm. She's going through the normal phase of testing you. This is where so many parents mess up by giving in to the tantrums. Establish a discipline and reward system and stick with it no matter what. If you show any signs of giving in, it will persist longer.

I am not saying that you have to become a wicked witch. Keep demonstrating your love and try your best to speak and explain the discipline with loving tones. Hug her often and do not withdraw your warmth as punishment as this is emotional abuse.

It's really hard to find the balance and sometimes you may think your losing your sanity but it will be worth it in the end.

Answer 4

It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. She is testing you, children do this at all ages it is just more noticeable the older they get because they clue into the "Mama is embarrassed" vibe and play off it to get there way. Ignore the "no" as long as what you tell her to do gets done, if it doesn't then use discipline to see it does. If she throws a tantrum, ignore it. When she sees everyone paying attention (negatively) except you they will slow then stop. But do not give in to her when she throws them and do not show they bother you.
Most of all when she doesn't do them give your verbal approval, but don't reward good behavior with things. This puts emphasis on getting something as a reward instead of self discipline as it's own reward...a much better lesson.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, it's just the age. The child is learning to be more independent and starting to discover wants versus needs. And as they get older, it can get worse. The important thing is to be strong, don't give into the temper tantrums. In fact, as much as possible - ignore them all together. This will teach the child that they can't get their way by throwing a fit. If things get too out of control - then put the child in a chair for a time out. They recommend a minute per year of age. I have a 2 year old boy at home and we struggle with the whole "I want" and "No" bit. And most of the time I just tell him no once and then ignore him. If he gets too out of control, I will put him in a chair for a time out. He is getting much better about it. But I don't give in to his fits and he is learning that he doesn't get his way by throwing a fit. Good luck and know that this won't last forever.

Answer 6

When she tells you no, you need to get to her level and tell her that answer is not exceptable in your house and she needs to do what she's told. When she throws a fit in the store IGNORE it! the more you pay attention to her the more she'll throw the tantrum and if that doesn't work, (this might sound cruel to some) just give her a little flick of your finger around her mouth it doesn't hurt it more or less startles them. Then they become aware that your not going to give in and the longer you let it go the more they're going to realize they'll get what they want if they throw a fit.

Answer 7

well if she throws a temper is the store or anywhere for that matter remove her from the place. if that means leaving a basket full of food in the wake then so be it. stand firm to your ground do not back down and she will see that you mean bussiness. i have two right now ones three the others almost two. believe me it takes about a week of standing firm before they get better but don't give up if you do just once then she will see that she can win you over. after it all blows over and she is done with her temper at the moment then you hug her and tell her that you love her but she has to behave for you.

Answer 8

if your daughter throws a tantrum in public because she does not get what she wants, do not, i repeat, do not ever give in. she will learn the throwing a tantrum will not get what she wants. and if you give in, she will throw more tantrum. and has hard as it is. when shes throwing a tantrum. leave and go outside until its over. do not bribe her. she only wants attention. hitting or spanking will not work either. that will only make her cry harder. talk to her and try to find out why. you are going throught the "terrible twos". sometimes they are terrible. but you will survive it, just dont let it get you down and remember, never give in. never, never. she will learn. eventually. sorry.

Answer 9

basically you just have to stay calm and ignore this behaviour I know its hard but she'll understand that tantrums get here nowhere if you ignore her as for in stores dont say anything and I know this can be hard but just walk out ignoring her all the while dont scolde her as this is a form of attention and this is what she is seeking 2 years old dont care if its positive or negative attention they just want it, if they dont get it it may take awhile but they will give up

Answer 10

Yeah,i feel like you are talking about my daughter.Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone .I guess they are calling this behavior terrible two's and it is suppose to be a phase and it will go away.I am still firm and i let her know that i am in charge.