Is it okay for parents to smack their children?

Question

i see lots of parent smack own kids now day. i got 3 kids i don't not smack anymore, only way i smack on bottom not nothing eles not to hard. so what you think.

Answer 1

Yes. A smack on the bottom with an open hand is perfectly fine method of discipline. It is only when smacking other parts (head/face) or implements (belt) are involved that it becomes inappropriate.

It is an effective method to curb particularly bad behaviours, though it should not just be used any time. Remember, children are not dumb and need viable punishments. Time outs do not work for children who are either very stubborn or very clever.

As a child, 'time outs' in our house were not dreaded because eventually time outs end. My brothers and I would simply weigh the benefits of the fun we were having against possible punishment. Frankly, time outs never deterred us. But the possibility of a hand to the bottom would stop us immediately.

Answer 2

Althought some people think I am oversimplistic--I think there is way too little spanking--and I believe it is an important component or raising and instilling discipline in children.Although this is a stupid analogy--a paddle does a good job of keeping the boat headed in the right direction.

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents.

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong.

I noticed some people mentioned "smacking" should only be on the behind--I agree. I do not agree with those who say it should only be with a hand. I only think that is appropriate with very young children. Otherwise it is better to use something like a wooden spoon, paint stick, etc.--I have a paddle made specifically for the purpose. I do not think it is a good idea to use an appendage or extension of the parent to punish. Besides--sometimes just grabbing the paddle and showing it to them can bring instaneous results, as can the rhetorical question "Do you want me to get the paddle?"

Answer 3

I think if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. Children should definitely learn what's acceptable and what's not. I was spanked and I turned out fine. I have every intention on spanking my kids. Mind you, I didn't say BEAT, I said spank. There is a difference. If there are no consequences for anything other than a "time-out", that sometimes doesn't faze the kids. You don't spank for every little thing. You spank if they've put themselves or another child in danger. Flat out disrespect for adults is something that is never tolerated and warrants a spanking. The list could go on, but the child I've raised for 6 years has gotten probably 3 spankings in her entire 9 year life.

When you say SMACK, do you mean in the actual face? I never think that's right. I'd never slap a child across the face, in the mouth or anything like that. I know parents that slap in the mouth for cursing etc, I've never agreed with that. I think they have alot of bottom back there for spanking.

Can't you tell a child that doesn't get spankings as opposed to one that does? Have you ever seen them act out in public displays? I have and it's not pretty. It's very difficult to enjoy being a parent if you can't control you child. I've seen children hit, curse and spit at their mothers in banks, grocery stores and malls. I've rarely if ever seen out of control children that do get spankings. I know i walked a tight line growing up to ensure my spankings were few and far between and i turned out good. Never shot up a school, never been to jail, have respect and admiration for those older than myself and I'm an all around good person. Not perfect, but decent. I thank my father for the discipline. Otherwise, I'd of had no direction. Words don't always work and some things do warrant spankings.

Answer 4

We've all given our kids a smack on the bottom whether we admit it or not I don't smack my children because l find that firstly they immediately mimic you,secondly it never works especially for a temper tantrum,once l smacked my son on the bottom when he was having one such tantrum and he started screaming worse than before .For tantrums l find that if you ignore them and let them scream their piece they eventually give up.Patience is the key ,easier said than done but beating a child is inhumane and cruel and sets it up for a lifetime of psychological problems and possibly abusive behaviour to it's own children.

Answer 5

It happens. Probably shouldn't. But parenting is 24/7 and we are not all perfect, and the little ones can be quite aggravating at times.

My personal belief is that hitting your children teaches them to hit, and teaches them that might makes right.

Both are things we really don't want them to believe.

So, it's a pretty stupid thing to get in the habit of.

The less hollering and hitting a parent does.... the more effect it will have on a child when it is done. It should be used only for emergency situations, to keep a child from getting into worse trouble.


I♥♫→mia☼☺†

Answer 6

I rarely smack my kids as I don't think it shows them a good example that it's ok to whack people when you are angry. However having said that my 2 children, kick, hit and punch each other all the time when they are fighting. But I still won't smack them

Answer 7

Oh dear god here we go with this topic again... Who cares if it's okay or not okay to smack a child as long as you don't beat a kid then there shouldn't be a problem with it. Everyone needs to just raise there children as they see fit and stop trying to tell each other how to do his or her job at being a parent.

Answer 8

i dont think it is good to excessively smack your child as it becomes a ritual and rather than helping the child to understand that they have done something wrong they feel as though they need to rebel more. depending on the situation the parents need to stand their ground to show discipline but it shouldnt be a continual belting rather a small smack then a sit down too discuss to what had happened

Answer 9

I smacked my daughter only three or four times when she was around four, I think that age is very difficult because the child usually tries to show the parents that he has his own character and point of view, I never did that later on, I don't regret it because
it really helped but I can never do it again

Answer 10

I dont spank or hit my kids either. I do time outs, take toys away, & keep allowances. I dont think hitting solves anything.
As a kid, my Mother never hit me...she was abused by her Father growing up & she vowed to never hit us. I have taken that same vow. Although, there has been a time or two I have lost my patience with my son mostly, he is the most stubborn of the two, I have walked away & came back when I was calmer, taking something away & explaining to them in detail why I did that...
It works. Esp. when I take their allowance away. They hate that!
My sister has 3 kids, with one on the way, & I have had to come in between my Brother in Law a time or two, knowing it isnt my place, but sometimes, he gets carried away. My Nieces are 7 & 3...My Nephew is 6...& he will hold them by the arm & starting hitting...if they move & he gets their legs or their backs...or wherever his hand lands that is their fault. One time, he hit my oldest niece so hard, she was lifted off her feet & then he jerked her up & started to hit her again. I jumped in....I was not going to have it.
I dont want to be a Parent like that...I wasnt raised like that & I am not going to raise mine like that.

Now, I do have a joke with my kids....I will tell them "C'mere...let me smack you around", they come to me & plaster kisses all over their sweet faces. They love it!.....