How do I deal with my racist relatives? I always wind up being the bad guy....?

Question

I am a white guy, married to a Mexican woman. We'rehappy and have 2 girls. My parents are great, But, I have a half brother and a bro-inlaw who are the most racist people I know. They do the passive agressive white thing ofcourse, never say a thing to me or my fam but it's the comments they make behind my back that really piss me off. 2 examples:
1. tonight we had a birthday party for my kids and when we were done singin happy b-day my brother leans over to my dad and says; "hey, aren't we supposed to sing 'feliz cumpleanos'? 2. A couple of years ago I was watchin a football game on thxgiving at my bro-inlaws house with him and my brother and two of his young boys. One of the black players had dreadlocks hangin out of his helmet and my bro in law goes: I dont know what's up with these (N-words) and their hair. It was his house so I couldn't really say anything but I had to leave I was so mad. How do I deal with this without making it a huge FAMILY DRAMA incident.

Answer 1

prejudice....you need a hitman!

Answer 2

I think you might be over-reacting.
For how amazingly racist they are supposed to be, you only mentioned two incidents and one was years ago, the other isn't even racist it was just a snide comment (the birthday one).

It was common for people in the past to call black people *******, not as an insult but that's just what they were called in a certain era. So it could just be your dad's age.
I don't know about your brother in law. Some people just make remarks that are offensive but I wouldn't call most people who make racist-like remarks actual racists. Do they have a problem with your wife or people of colour or your kids (if they are coloured at all?) ?

The only thing you can do is talk to them about it and make it clear that you are offended and won't put up with it. Otherwise it will keep going on and you will be feeling angry about incidents years later as you have mentioned.
But I honestly wouldn't think too much of it. You are probably just being more offended because of your wife. They probably don't mean any harm.

If i'm wrong, add more info to your question.

Answer 3

1. No matter whose house you're at, you can always stand up against blatant racism and prejudice.
2. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Why do you hang around bigots like those two, just because they're family? Stop attending family functions where you know they are going to be, and if anyone asks you why, tell them the truth. You might get a huge surprise, as I would guess there are other family members who are tired of those two morons and who would be on your side in this.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Nope. - Terminal ailment. with out dying, human beings might go through in intense discomfort continuously. - previous age. with out dying, those human beings may be alive till and after their bones and flesh start to crumble and fail. - injuries. Say you have been only in an twist of destiny and had all your insides pulled out by your abdomen or some thing. might you definitely need to easily sit down there, alive, with that discomfort? i think of you get the assumption. dying is unhappy, in spite of the fact that it in no way occurs for no reason and the alternative is ultimately lots worse.

Answer 5

dont let really get to you cause it could be alot of pain just kind of learn to live with it because do you think there is much you can say to change their minds. same thing with me tho. my bf is white and i'm blk my parents dont really get along with him at all.

Answer 6

what are you sweating for?if they were that bad,they wouldn't want you around,and YOU wouldn't go around.

Answer 7

ummm agree with him