Can someone give me some advice?

Question

This week has been so confusing. My ex decides to tell me how he feels about me, only knowing that I am with someone else now. He wouldn't tell me for months that he loved me, but now he tells me. I tell my mom about this, and she starts crying, feeling sorry for him. It made me feel sorry for him too.

Then, this guy who said he was going to call me a month earlier calls me this week for a date. My parents tell me that it would be okay to go to lunch with him. My dad even says that my boyfriend might not want to be exclusive. More confusion.

Then my boyfriend. I do have strong feelings for him, and I do care for him. The other night we were kissing, and I felt this strong emotion, and for some reason I blurt out, "I love you." and he said, "What?" and for a second I thought to change it to, 'I love being with you." because I didn't think I was ready to tell him, but I repeated it again. He said he loved me too. My mind is so blurry right now. I want to cry but I can't. I need advice.

I wish I could cry, but for some reason I can't. I know it would help to.

Do you think my boyfriend would hate it if I talked to him about my problems? I just...I don't feel like I can talk to him. I'm afraid I'll scare him away. My mom told me to not be clingy, but I wonder if he would listen...

I don't want to lose him by telling him I said it too soon. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My ex controlled me...controlled my feelings. He made me feel like I wasn't good enough for another guy. Those feelings are still there. He would tell me I was psycho or something. He made me feel like I was emotionally unstable, but I was just sensitive.

Answer 1

This is how I see it: You are confused, because there are people in your life who control you. And why, becasue you let them. For once, can you simply follow your heart...listen to yourself on what to do, what you think is right. Cause come on, the whole parent deciding who to go out with, who to like...that whole thing is dumb, which makes you dumb for listening to it.

You LOVE your boyfriend and he loves you. And for the simple fact, that he loves you...I think its okay if you talk about what youre feeling. I'm sure he'll understand.
The guy that called you this week....cancel on him. Your ex that is still into you....tell him you can just be friends and nothing more. As for your boyfriend, be happy by his side. See how easy things can be....it may be hard going through it, but in the end that is what you have.

I wish you luck and hope you can be happy with your boyfriend....because in the end the only thing that matters is what you want and what you feel. Oh, and go ahead...cry if you need to. It helps.

Best wishes. :) Peace.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you ex only realized or thinks that he loves you because he lost you and knows that he can't have you. I would just forget your ex. If you want to go out with the guy that just called you and asked you out for a date, then I would try running the idea of lunch or dinner, whatever, by your boyfriend to see how he reacts. Depending on his reaction, that will give you an idea if he wants to be exclusive or not. If you are worried b/c your boyfriend said "What?" after you told him you love him, try not to. He probably said that b/c he wanted to be sure he heard you right before he said it back. But if you want to know if he meant it or only said it b/c you said it first, then try not saying it for a while and see if he says it first next time. But don't wait too long b/c then he might think that you regretted saying it the first time. You can always try waiting to see if he ever says it first later if need be. Hope this helps you. Just try to take one problem at a time, then move on to the next. Good luck, I hope everything works out and please don't cry. Smile it will help you feel better. :)
P.S. I think it would be good if you talked to your boyfriend about your problems. That doesn't seem clingy at all to me. Communication is key in any kind of relationship.

Answer 3

First, clear up the confusion with the current boyfriend. If you really don't love him, it's okay to tell him that you got caught up in the moment and blurted it out. It's not cool to lead him on. If you really love him, then it doesn't matter what your ex-boyfriends or other guys feel for you - lunch dates and phone calls and sympathy contact are not really acceptable. If you really love your boyfriend, why would these other guys make such an impact on you? Second, your current boyfriend is the only person who can tell you if he wants to be exclusive - not your dad or mum. The best advice I can give you is to think about this situation and do what feels right for you! Good luck!

Answer 4

Just stick with your boyfriend. Things will get far too complicated if you go to lunch with some other guy and your talking to your ex boyfriend, too. There's a reason you started dating the guy you're with in the first place. Good luck.

Answer 5

Ok. You and your ex is OVER! Moving on the guy #2. He's history if he calls you ONE MONTH LATER! Just keep the relationship you have with your boyfriend right now. Don't destory what you already have. Oh. And cancel that lunch date thing, it will only complicate the situation....Good luck.

Answer 6

First off you ex is pulling the oldest trick in the book..he sees you with another guy and now he wants you because your unavailable...Don't be naive and fall for that...If you have strong feelings for your boyfriend stick with him..I don't know what happened with you and your ex but there has to be a good reason hes your ex..lol stay with your boyfriend your ex is just trying to manipulate you..Good Luck

Answer 7

My only advice is to let it all out.
You sound like you are a little emotional right now so just cry.

After you cry, do what you parents say and go out to lunch but tell your boyfriend that you are going out but it is only lunch with a friend. Nothing more.

About your other friend, forget him.
He waited to long and you moved on. Tell him that.

Answer 8

well if your currently with a man,, dont go out with the month later date begger,, it is not ok,, and if you love your current bf, why bother going back to your ex? as for being exclusive,, ask him straight out unless your ok with an open relationship,, tell your boyfriend that you want a monagamous relationship, or not at all, if he respects and loves you in return, this wont be a problem

Answer 9

ok first of all decide who you want to be with. i am in the same prediciment and i had to make a choice. go with your gut not your heart or your head they will lead you astray. being with someone you trust and love and can be the best thing ever. be open and honest and just jump girl--make a chioce!!! good luck always

Answer 10

YOU SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS AND FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU ARE IN RIGHT NOW. IT SEEMS LIKE THIS GUY IS MAKING YOU HAPPY AND YOU ARE IN A GOOD PLACE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP SO DONT COMPLICATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY ADDING ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE TO IT. YOUR EX COULD BE DOING THIS ONLY TO MESS YOUR RELATIONSHIP UP AND THIS OTHER GUY MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.